This game is the closest thing to The Room I've encountered in game form. That is to say, it is terrible, but engaging, and so incredibly dumb that I was constantly laughing at it. If it was any longer than the 90 minutes it took me to finish, I would have lost my mind. In this game's favor: no collectibles, skippable cutscenes.
This is Stun Lock - The Game. Every attack knocks you or enemies down, so a well timed button press can juggle even bosses to their doom easily. Or the same can happen to you.
This game is the blueprint to every writing problem you will ever encounter in Kingdom Hearts. It even stars prototype Sora, with an even worse outfit! Nothing gets explained before you're confused, and then its time for a flashback exposition dump for characters you've just met. (Make no mistake, if this story was told properly, it would still be failing grade anime trash.)
The fact this is an official Square release and not some repurposed fan project made by two people and released in beta on Steam floors and delights me. I have never encountered such confidently incorrect hubris in a game, rolling so deep in cliches that they are somehow able to take us from a bar to a satellite in two hours. None of it works and the character designs are just horrendous. Just one train wreck of a look to another until the final moments. (The final boss wears overalls with no shirt??? No one is wearing a shirt! Not a single named character has a shirt in this whole game!)
In my rating system, 2 stars represents an average, C rank game. This comfortably gets a D rank, 1 star rating. It only staved off an F rating by ending as soon as it did. A "How Did This Get Made" documentary for this game would be FASCINATING.
This is Stun Lock - The Game. Every attack knocks you or enemies down, so a well timed button press can juggle even bosses to their doom easily. Or the same can happen to you.
This game is the blueprint to every writing problem you will ever encounter in Kingdom Hearts. It even stars prototype Sora, with an even worse outfit! Nothing gets explained before you're confused, and then its time for a flashback exposition dump for characters you've just met. (Make no mistake, if this story was told properly, it would still be failing grade anime trash.)
The fact this is an official Square release and not some repurposed fan project made by two people and released in beta on Steam floors and delights me. I have never encountered such confidently incorrect hubris in a game, rolling so deep in cliches that they are somehow able to take us from a bar to a satellite in two hours. None of it works and the character designs are just horrendous. Just one train wreck of a look to another until the final moments. (The final boss wears overalls with no shirt??? No one is wearing a shirt! Not a single named character has a shirt in this whole game!)
In my rating system, 2 stars represents an average, C rank game. This comfortably gets a D rank, 1 star rating. It only staved off an F rating by ending as soon as it did. A "How Did This Get Made" documentary for this game would be FASCINATING.