Peak. Raw. Fire. Goated with the sauce. This is the best video game ever created. Team Cherry made this game because they love me, what I do, and everything I stand for. There are no flaws with this game.
"The combat! It's too hard!" Get better. If you're too stressed, go take a break. Maybe go watch some Mickey Mouse to ease the mind, then come back and try again.
"All the areas are blue! It looks the same!" You're lying. You played the game for one hour. You didn't even get to Greenpath. No one believes you. You are a fool. A moron.
"Where do I go? The map doesn't show anything!" What the hell??? Do you want Elmo and Cookie Monster and Big Bird to drop in and hold your hand throughout the world and point you exactly where you should go? Figure it out. Go find what's out there yourself.
"The music sucks" No one's ever actually said this. I made it up to make the review look longer.
"The death system" Stop dying. If that was too much then go back, you got there you can go there again. The evil scary ghost that reminds you of your horrific failure only takes 3 hits to kill. If it scares you too much and you wet your pants then go to the wizard magician at the end of Dirtmouth and hand over the Rotten Egg.
"I hate Zote! He's not attractive or charming!" Fuck you.
"The game is too big! I hate backtracking!" Why are you playing this genre? Are you too lazy to backtrack to the kitchen everytime you get hungry for a little snack maybe some popcorn or a granola bar? Do you refuse to shower because you don't want to backtrack to the restroom?
"The map sucks!" Go buy the markers at the map shop and equip the compass charm. Is that not enough? Do you want a cookie with that? Or maybe a Capri Sun juice? Fruit punch flavor?
"I guess I'm not into Metroidvanias" Fix that.
This game is wonderful and everyone should play it. Don't comment if you have Omori or a Persona game in your top 5.
"The combat! It's too hard!" Get better. If you're too stressed, go take a break. Maybe go watch some Mickey Mouse to ease the mind, then come back and try again.
"All the areas are blue! It looks the same!" You're lying. You played the game for one hour. You didn't even get to Greenpath. No one believes you. You are a fool. A moron.
"Where do I go? The map doesn't show anything!" What the hell??? Do you want Elmo and Cookie Monster and Big Bird to drop in and hold your hand throughout the world and point you exactly where you should go? Figure it out. Go find what's out there yourself.
"The music sucks" No one's ever actually said this. I made it up to make the review look longer.
"The death system" Stop dying. If that was too much then go back, you got there you can go there again. The evil scary ghost that reminds you of your horrific failure only takes 3 hits to kill. If it scares you too much and you wet your pants then go to the wizard magician at the end of Dirtmouth and hand over the Rotten Egg.
"I hate Zote! He's not attractive or charming!" Fuck you.
"The game is too big! I hate backtracking!" Why are you playing this genre? Are you too lazy to backtrack to the kitchen everytime you get hungry for a little snack maybe some popcorn or a granola bar? Do you refuse to shower because you don't want to backtrack to the restroom?
"The map sucks!" Go buy the markers at the map shop and equip the compass charm. Is that not enough? Do you want a cookie with that? Or maybe a Capri Sun juice? Fruit punch flavor?
"I guess I'm not into Metroidvanias" Fix that.
This game is wonderful and everyone should play it. Don't comment if you have Omori or a Persona game in your top 5.
7 Comments
average backloggd user
why you gotta defend this game so hard man it's already beloved
@Radshyguy No one does it like I do it, that's just how it is.
idk man comes off silly to me..
You just don't get it
Real as fuck. This is a good way to get the point across to peoples’ puny brains without me wanting to say some demented evil fucked up shit. Most complaints are people always going “the map, the backtracking!” when they are solved by equipping one thing and knowing what damn genre you’re playing
Nezznerd
1 year ago