Bayonetta 3 is the textbook definition of too many cooks in the kitchen. It throws the kitchen sink at you, not realizing how badly it kills the pacing, storytelling and replay value.
So much of this game is bad. Yes, playing as Bayonetta against monsters is better than ever, but its also the Bayonetta game with the least of it. Viola and Jeanne stages are atrocious and ever frequent. It took me a year to slog through this 13 hour game because I dreaded having to play for 30-45 minutes playing a mission with a character that isnt fun. (Jeannes levels are way shorter, but they're the jankiest and ugliest to make up for it).
The less said about the story, the better. Seriously. Even if I ranted about how Platinum massacred Bayonetta as a character and sandblasted at least 80% of the original's camp comedic writing away for self-serious multiverse bullshit, it wouldn't help. The joy of Bayonetta 1 was that the ridiculously fun gameplay was matched in energy by over the top, funny cutscenes with lovable characters. Just...fuck Bayonetta 3 for doing this.
The aliasing in this game is genuinely hideous. Like, everything is shimmering and jagged and the lighting is weird and the textures are shining like a students first unreal project, its a mess. I know its not the end of the world, but I had to play on a CRT to hide how ugly this game is. (To my TVs credit, it worked wonders and made it look decent).
Most importantly of all, Bayonetta 3 keeps thinking the player hates playing Bayonetta. Every chapter has some stupid puzzle mechanic or new gimmicky demon to learn to use for 10 minutes, or a shitty boring shmup section, or bad platforming, or clunky kaiju fights that actually remove happiness from the universe statistically; Bayonetta 3 is an unfocused mess of gameplay ideas that got thrown in as a first draft. Much like this meandering review.
To wrap up my rant, the game is still a begrudging 2 stars because playing Bayonetta is still good fun. Its not as constant as I'd like, but around 40% of the total experience is good. I wouldnt buy it for 60 dollars when DMC5 launched at the same price and is also Bayonetta 3 except they nail it on every level and don't kill the franchise.
I know the reception isn't that bad, but with a dev hell stillbirth like this and the departure of Kamiya, Im not expecting a new game starring "the next generation". Fuck man, did Platinum not notice how hard Capcom had to sell the fans on Nero to make him popular? What made them think Bayo 3's ending was a good idea?
Final rant: Why is the enemy design dogshit? Remember the Joy fight? Now everything is just nickelodeon slime dinosaurs and mannequins.
So much of this game is bad. Yes, playing as Bayonetta against monsters is better than ever, but its also the Bayonetta game with the least of it. Viola and Jeanne stages are atrocious and ever frequent. It took me a year to slog through this 13 hour game because I dreaded having to play for 30-45 minutes playing a mission with a character that isnt fun. (Jeannes levels are way shorter, but they're the jankiest and ugliest to make up for it).
The less said about the story, the better. Seriously. Even if I ranted about how Platinum massacred Bayonetta as a character and sandblasted at least 80% of the original's camp comedic writing away for self-serious multiverse bullshit, it wouldn't help. The joy of Bayonetta 1 was that the ridiculously fun gameplay was matched in energy by over the top, funny cutscenes with lovable characters. Just...fuck Bayonetta 3 for doing this.
The aliasing in this game is genuinely hideous. Like, everything is shimmering and jagged and the lighting is weird and the textures are shining like a students first unreal project, its a mess. I know its not the end of the world, but I had to play on a CRT to hide how ugly this game is. (To my TVs credit, it worked wonders and made it look decent).
Most importantly of all, Bayonetta 3 keeps thinking the player hates playing Bayonetta. Every chapter has some stupid puzzle mechanic or new gimmicky demon to learn to use for 10 minutes, or a shitty boring shmup section, or bad platforming, or clunky kaiju fights that actually remove happiness from the universe statistically; Bayonetta 3 is an unfocused mess of gameplay ideas that got thrown in as a first draft. Much like this meandering review.
To wrap up my rant, the game is still a begrudging 2 stars because playing Bayonetta is still good fun. Its not as constant as I'd like, but around 40% of the total experience is good. I wouldnt buy it for 60 dollars when DMC5 launched at the same price and is also Bayonetta 3 except they nail it on every level and don't kill the franchise.
I know the reception isn't that bad, but with a dev hell stillbirth like this and the departure of Kamiya, Im not expecting a new game starring "the next generation". Fuck man, did Platinum not notice how hard Capcom had to sell the fans on Nero to make him popular? What made them think Bayo 3's ending was a good idea?
Final rant: Why is the enemy design dogshit? Remember the Joy fight? Now everything is just nickelodeon slime dinosaurs and mannequins.
3 Comments
@miramiraotw Hit the nail on the head. It feels like after the Switch hardware killed their open world dreams (thank god) they got bitter and decided to rip off DMC5 because...yeah, I can see Kamiya being bitter about it.
I grew up with DMC3 on my PS2 and I genuinely wouldn't be upset if DMC6 only had Nero and Dante was DLC. I would prefer both, but Nero is already so great that he could easily carry a game on his own. It's insane how perfectly executed DMCV was.
MiraMiraOTW
6 months ago
I've been ruminating on this for about a year, because it was both one of the worst sequels I've ever played and also just... a mind boggling game.
I think it makes more sense if you view it as either Kamiya specifically or Platinum as a whole being mad that DMC5 came out and was the first real super-duper-wuper roaring success for the genre Platinum have spent like 15 years trying to perfect. It hits a lot of the same notes but... Worse. It dredges up a lot of the same imagery but worse. It has the same ending, but worse.
Bayonetta 3 as a sequel to Bayo 1/2 just doesn't make sense. Bayonetta 3 as a high-budget equivalent to someone's secret vent account on Twitter? Less unrealistic.