Game #1 of my "seasonal game binge"

So here's an interesting one. I would always see it pop up when looking for "Christmas games" as well as games related to Clock Tower and games that were localized in PAL territories but not North America. As somebody who finds all 3 of these subjects interesting, I thought this would be a cool game to kick off December with.

The chibis are really cute and make a nice contrast with the intense as hell exploration music that wouldn't feel out of place in a JRPG. There's a nice level of detail to the whole aesthetic. UnIntrusive dialogue boxes result in less gameplay padding, Christmas trees are standing inside the building unique from other trees, many objects are destructible just for the fun of it, and even the options menu has the cutest controller representation ever. I also enjoyed the cutscenes for such deep quotes as "The year is 2010. Humanity has progressed little in the past 20 years"

Did I mention Christmas trees? Yeah, there are only a couple times it's mentioned the game takes place on Christmas and it doesn't really affect the plot in any way but I still found it nice I got to save Christmas by the end. That said, it wasn't without its struggles.

The Firemen is one of the hardest games on the SNES. The player is only provided 4 credits to clear 6 fairly beefy levels and let's just say the level design can be unpredictable. For example, the AI often accidentally hits the player with nuclear explosions the player must memorize and duck under, the radar stops working during the last 2 levels, objects in the background like trees or pipes may collapse at the worst possible moment, and so forth. At first I thought the game was dickishly designed for the sake of being dickishly designed, but thinking about it a real firefighter must be prepared for anything unexpected so it kinda fits.

That said, after about 5 attempts I had gotten so much better at the game I could nearly 1cc it. It's definitely a game that requires practice, but it pays off by the end since the player will become fundamentally better as opposed to just memorizing everything. Keeping the super hose for as long as possible is always really satisfying. Memorizing the survivor locations for the health pickups, as well as which mirrors to shoot and which flames to put out for bombs always ensures the game isn't random which I greatly welcome. The strafing feels nice as well, but if you're right-handed make sure to adjust it in the options menu.

2 things I want to give special praise to are the AI and boss fights. Every single boss is composed of fire and Human came up with some pretty unique puzzle bosses such as one who needs to only be shot in short bursts as well as the Son of Sun from Chrono Trigger just making a cameo I guess. The AI, aside from the part where he constantly nearly fries you to death, is actually pretty helpful. Dude is such a chad he constantly puts out flames by hitting them to death with his ax, and he'll even knock fireballs out of the air which are more easily ducked under. Compared to the AI in something like Secret of Mana it's a surprising improvement.

I could nitpick some elements all day. Extra endings could have easily been implemented, the game is a bit short for its own good, some of the dialogue boxes are hard to read towards the end, certain areas look a bit iffy (mostly when the "cartoon circle" is used to emphasize location) and Human really should have added a warning of sorts for the first explosion on the elevator. Still, these are all fairly minor gripes that don't add up enough to make me consider this anything short of a great game.

The Firemen, overall, is one of the best SNES games PAL owners received over North America along with Terranigma, Parodius, Super Bomberman 3, and tWINbee. I don't think it quite measured up to Clock Tower for me but it was a pretty comfy experience and an epic early experimental experience from Human who I dearly miss. A must play for the holiday season.

One warning though; don't bother with the 60 hz patch. The Firemen is already PAL optimized, so using that patch will speed up the game too much.

Reviewed on Dec 04, 2021


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