I didn’t expect to write such a scathing review, but it ended up that way, so if you somehow like Drakengard 3, you might not want to read this. The sad thing is that a sick part of me is actually grateful that I played this dumpster fire because I can now brag about having suffered through it. For the record, everything in this review has ZERO hyperbole–if I say it, then that is exactly how it appears in the game.
Drakengard 3 is the worst videogame I have ever played and a disgrace to the industry as a whole. I didn’t even think it was possible to publish such a disaster, but leave it to Square Enix to push the limits of ineptitude in the medium. I naively thought stakeholders or upper management or SOMEBODY would step in and say no, but apparently not. This game is the prototypical example of what makes many people arbitrarily blanket-hate all anime. This is degenerate, horny garbage with zero other reason for existing.
Drakengard 3 is a braindead hack-and-slash landlocked to the PS3 that runs at 15 FPS maximum during combat, and has you playing as an unlikable, unnecessarily vulgar prick parading around a band of idiots that won’t shut up about their sexual preferences that are either sadistic, masochistic, or just plain creepy. Every character’s personality is entirely comprised of what sick kink makes them so impossibly horny that they’re incapable of not disclosing it every two or so minutes while you mindlessly slash enemies that are easier to deal with than the screen-tear and slideshow-level frame rates. The dialogue is repulsive, and the fact that it didn’t get shot down with heavy anti-air artillery fire is even more so.
Add in the fact that the story is nonsensical garbage that “gets better on the later branches” according to reddit (doubtful, though I don’t have the mental fortitude to sit through 3 more storylines to get a definitive answer). Look up and skip through the final boss of Branch D to see the most incomprehensibly bad boss “““fight””” in video game history if you haven’t seen it yet.
Part of me thinks I fell for some cruel satire, but every piece of evidence I find points to the contrary. If you genuinely like Drakengard 3, then I urge you to play other games that people praise for storytelling, because I promise there are titles out there that will make you realize there is so much more to see than what this one has to offer.
Drakengard 3 is the worst videogame I have ever played and a disgrace to the industry as a whole. I didn’t even think it was possible to publish such a disaster, but leave it to Square Enix to push the limits of ineptitude in the medium. I naively thought stakeholders or upper management or SOMEBODY would step in and say no, but apparently not. This game is the prototypical example of what makes many people arbitrarily blanket-hate all anime. This is degenerate, horny garbage with zero other reason for existing.
Drakengard 3 is a braindead hack-and-slash landlocked to the PS3 that runs at 15 FPS maximum during combat, and has you playing as an unlikable, unnecessarily vulgar prick parading around a band of idiots that won’t shut up about their sexual preferences that are either sadistic, masochistic, or just plain creepy. Every character’s personality is entirely comprised of what sick kink makes them so impossibly horny that they’re incapable of not disclosing it every two or so minutes while you mindlessly slash enemies that are easier to deal with than the screen-tear and slideshow-level frame rates. The dialogue is repulsive, and the fact that it didn’t get shot down with heavy anti-air artillery fire is even more so.
Add in the fact that the story is nonsensical garbage that “gets better on the later branches” according to reddit (doubtful, though I don’t have the mental fortitude to sit through 3 more storylines to get a definitive answer). Look up and skip through the final boss of Branch D to see the most incomprehensibly bad boss “““fight””” in video game history if you haven’t seen it yet.
Part of me thinks I fell for some cruel satire, but every piece of evidence I find points to the contrary. If you genuinely like Drakengard 3, then I urge you to play other games that people praise for storytelling, because I promise there are titles out there that will make you realize there is so much more to see than what this one has to offer.
deusura
8 months ago