CoffeeCrash
2 reviews liked by CoffeeCrash
Pocket Mirror is a game I have been following since its release in 2016. My first exposure to it was watching a walk-through online, so when this remake was announced i was very excited to experience such a beautiful rpg maker game for myself, with a new shiny coat of paint on it to boot. So that is why, despite my desperate attempts to like this game, i am very sad to announce that Pocket Mirror was so painful to go through that i walked away from it with a tension headache and leg tremors.
My compliments first: the visual art of this game and its environments are for sure some of the best out of its genre. The pixel art is gorgeous, the portrait work is very beautiful, detailed, and distinct. The way they tell their story through the world around it, and the many set pieces used in this game are very, very impressive and striking to witness. The atmosphere is also really heavy and i found myself a bit frightened at times. Ive been into rpgmaker games since i was in the 6th grade or so, and i recognized a few artists who have been making art for the genre for a while, like the one who does drawings for the play cutscenes. You can tell this game was made with a lot of love and detail, and i would like to consider it a celebration of rpgmaker games as a whole, but i just cant.
I dont even know where to start.... ok, mechanically, this game feels awful. Menus are so, so slow, running and walking feel delayed and weird, worse of all though is that there are no autosaves and you must watch a 7-10? second long cutscene every time you die. The creators were really inspired by The Witch's House so they felt like the player should die a lot, more on that later. But the difference between PM and Witch's House is that one of them is 5-7 hours long and the other one can be beaten in 40 minutes. It is so deeply frustrating.
In terms of gameplay this game also does poorly. Im hyperventilating thinking of all the scenarios i can describe here. I dont know how to explain... ive never ever played an rpgmaker with such batshit, baffling solutions to their puzzles, especially a professional remake of one like this. Like most games from its genre, Pocket Mirror relies a lot on puzzles to get from one area to the next, and to tell a story. Thankfully its not as boring as just finding keys to doors, but i would honestly prefer that over what this game does. This game has an awfully hard time communicating what it wants, there are many puzzle solutions that lie within really confusingly written poems or riddles, that go on for what feels like 12 stanzas. I have fantastic reading comprehension but even i couldnt even fathom what the game was asking me there, in all situations. Here is one example where a pumpkin wanted me to solve a riddle or else he'd kill me, not word for word but close enough:
"A woman baked 5 pies and left them on the windowsill to cool. She then left to get packaging for the pies. While she was gone, a robber came and stole 2 of the pies, and then a dog came and ate 1. When the woman came home, she was gutted to see what had happened. How many pies were saved on that day?"
The answer.... should be 2. It should be. I cant comprehend how it wasnt 2 and why it wasnt 2. The actual answer was 5, i dont know why. And as i said, every time you die you have to navigate through a very slow menu and that death animation and theres no autosaves. So it gets really old really fast. I never knew what to do in this game.
Another example of something that happened: there was a chase scene in the game (great for when your main character controls like a tank) that i just could not figure out. You go down running from the threat and enter a long corridor, to the left are enemies, you run to the right and theres more enemies. Theres open cages but your main character cant go in them, even though it really looks like you can. You die because they sandwich you on both sides. Theres also a room you can go down into with more enemies, you can then go back up to the corridor and duke the original foes in there. But it doesnt matter because they spawn more enemies in the corridor and you die. No matter what i did i died. I couldnt understand what the hell i was supposed to do, and i was very very upset. The answer for some unknown reason, you have to go left, stop. Then run right. Then go left. Sometimes this does not trigger the event, because i did that the first time and if you hesitate i suppose you just lose. Im not sure how the player was supposed to know that and i genuinely am baffled at most of these decisions. Dying in this game is absolutely nothing, has nothing to do with skill or reflexes. Its just a waste of time and very frustrating.
The story is a big part of this game, and while the premise interested me a lot, the writing is incredibly repetitive and poor. Nothing anyone ever says means anything. When you think a character should stop talking, they go on for 3 more boxes. Like i said, it gets very old very fast. Before discussing the general story i would like to make a note that our protagonist here is the most insufferable piece of shit little girl ive ever seen, i can not STAND her. She only gets a hint of a personality towards the very end of the game where she finally manages to stand up for herself in any way. I would rather play as any other character than her, and i dont like the ideals the game shows coming from her. She barely says a single sentence that isnt "im sorry" or "thank you" or "no!!!i just-" specifically, shes always saying that. She never means anything and shes ALWAYS sorry. Shes always suppressing her feelings and putting others ahead of her even though shes in a crazy fucking wonderland with no memories. She apologizes when people are mean to her. She wants to help everyone and is always fine and is so polite and self sacrificing to an absolutely unhealthy measure. She has no spine, shes constantly cut off and never gets to finish her sentences or explain herself. She doesnt think for herself and has no real commentary on her thoughts past that shes confused. She has absolutely no autonomy in her situation and never seems to develop in any way. Conversations with her go like this:
Harpae: ohh my girl why did you run off
???: im sorry harpae
Harpae: i dont want to hear any excuses!
???: im sorry, i just-
Harpae: no, i understand.
???: i didnt mean to say it like that! I just-
Harpae: enough !!!!
???: ......
Harpae: .....
Harpae: oh... im sorry.....
???: no im sorry.... thank you harpae... im sorry
Word for word that conversation happens at least 16 times when youre in the Harpae chapter.
That was a bit longer than a note on the protag, but its fine. Like i said the story has a good premise, feels very mysterious and makes you want to understand. I like the way everything isnt directly shown but for christs sake, they never tell you anything. The characters almost never have any meaningful conversation. And those endings are an absolute disgrace, if you go out of your way to get the best ending it literally doesnt tell you jack shit or give you any closure at all. If you miss one regalia fuck you, play the whole game over.
Spoiler alert! The main character has multiple personality disorder, which according to the fandom page for this game actually doesnt exist anymore and its now dissociative identity disorder which i think is actually a separate thing from mpd but im not going to trust knowledge from the Pocket Mirror wiki page anyways. She has multiple personalities but.... this is also separate from another plot point, which is that her mom sold her to a demon. I have no idea how these two plots are supposed to come together and they never really do, just that the protag should make peace with herself and that there's also a weird boy devil who made a fake version of the protag for... some reason and shes also the final act of the game for.... another reason. Enjel (mirrored protag) is far more interesting than our mc in every way, so i would gladly replace her any day. Apparently the protag is actually 20 and is also in an insane asylum in the real world. I do not enjoy the way they depicted mental illness in this game, despite the compelling mystery. Theres a lot to say about it but i dont really like the concept that she has 3 distinct personalities that are easily separable from her as a person, and obviously how none of it ties into anything really at the end because the protag never gains any development from meeting them. She also did NOT seem abused enough to develop 3 whole entire personalities, thats just an insane thing to happen to someone who's dad yells and throws things sometimes. She also has a brother that looks like the demon from the game but thats just... not elaborated on.
Final notes: this game has offputting and vaugely offensive jokes in it that arent enough for me to scorn it openly but are still very weird. One line from an adult man to the child protag went something like "do i know you?"
???: "no. I dont think so...."
"Awh thats a shame, because i would totally carve your pumpkin"
Dont know what thats supposed to mean. Another conversation from a character named Fleta to a pumpkin went like this:
Pumpkin: im so sick of everyone confusing me for a pumpkin all the time!
Fleta: but you are a pumpkin...
Pumpkin: no im not! I actually identify as a member of the royal blue(?) community!
I forget the word he said exactly but the joke doesnt even make sense because royal blue(?) Is a species of squash anyways, and therefore a pumpkin. Things like these made me feel immensely uncomfortable.
I dont know how to close this out as i am a bit exhausted from the experience. If you read all of this, then thank you. If you didnt then its okay. I really wish i liked this game more as it was a gift but the amount of aggressions against the player was just so devastating. I need to take ibuprofen now, bye bye
My compliments first: the visual art of this game and its environments are for sure some of the best out of its genre. The pixel art is gorgeous, the portrait work is very beautiful, detailed, and distinct. The way they tell their story through the world around it, and the many set pieces used in this game are very, very impressive and striking to witness. The atmosphere is also really heavy and i found myself a bit frightened at times. Ive been into rpgmaker games since i was in the 6th grade or so, and i recognized a few artists who have been making art for the genre for a while, like the one who does drawings for the play cutscenes. You can tell this game was made with a lot of love and detail, and i would like to consider it a celebration of rpgmaker games as a whole, but i just cant.
I dont even know where to start.... ok, mechanically, this game feels awful. Menus are so, so slow, running and walking feel delayed and weird, worse of all though is that there are no autosaves and you must watch a 7-10? second long cutscene every time you die. The creators were really inspired by The Witch's House so they felt like the player should die a lot, more on that later. But the difference between PM and Witch's House is that one of them is 5-7 hours long and the other one can be beaten in 40 minutes. It is so deeply frustrating.
In terms of gameplay this game also does poorly. Im hyperventilating thinking of all the scenarios i can describe here. I dont know how to explain... ive never ever played an rpgmaker with such batshit, baffling solutions to their puzzles, especially a professional remake of one like this. Like most games from its genre, Pocket Mirror relies a lot on puzzles to get from one area to the next, and to tell a story. Thankfully its not as boring as just finding keys to doors, but i would honestly prefer that over what this game does. This game has an awfully hard time communicating what it wants, there are many puzzle solutions that lie within really confusingly written poems or riddles, that go on for what feels like 12 stanzas. I have fantastic reading comprehension but even i couldnt even fathom what the game was asking me there, in all situations. Here is one example where a pumpkin wanted me to solve a riddle or else he'd kill me, not word for word but close enough:
"A woman baked 5 pies and left them on the windowsill to cool. She then left to get packaging for the pies. While she was gone, a robber came and stole 2 of the pies, and then a dog came and ate 1. When the woman came home, she was gutted to see what had happened. How many pies were saved on that day?"
The answer.... should be 2. It should be. I cant comprehend how it wasnt 2 and why it wasnt 2. The actual answer was 5, i dont know why. And as i said, every time you die you have to navigate through a very slow menu and that death animation and theres no autosaves. So it gets really old really fast. I never knew what to do in this game.
Another example of something that happened: there was a chase scene in the game (great for when your main character controls like a tank) that i just could not figure out. You go down running from the threat and enter a long corridor, to the left are enemies, you run to the right and theres more enemies. Theres open cages but your main character cant go in them, even though it really looks like you can. You die because they sandwich you on both sides. Theres also a room you can go down into with more enemies, you can then go back up to the corridor and duke the original foes in there. But it doesnt matter because they spawn more enemies in the corridor and you die. No matter what i did i died. I couldnt understand what the hell i was supposed to do, and i was very very upset. The answer for some unknown reason, you have to go left, stop. Then run right. Then go left. Sometimes this does not trigger the event, because i did that the first time and if you hesitate i suppose you just lose. Im not sure how the player was supposed to know that and i genuinely am baffled at most of these decisions. Dying in this game is absolutely nothing, has nothing to do with skill or reflexes. Its just a waste of time and very frustrating.
The story is a big part of this game, and while the premise interested me a lot, the writing is incredibly repetitive and poor. Nothing anyone ever says means anything. When you think a character should stop talking, they go on for 3 more boxes. Like i said, it gets very old very fast. Before discussing the general story i would like to make a note that our protagonist here is the most insufferable piece of shit little girl ive ever seen, i can not STAND her. She only gets a hint of a personality towards the very end of the game where she finally manages to stand up for herself in any way. I would rather play as any other character than her, and i dont like the ideals the game shows coming from her. She barely says a single sentence that isnt "im sorry" or "thank you" or "no!!!i just-" specifically, shes always saying that. She never means anything and shes ALWAYS sorry. Shes always suppressing her feelings and putting others ahead of her even though shes in a crazy fucking wonderland with no memories. She apologizes when people are mean to her. She wants to help everyone and is always fine and is so polite and self sacrificing to an absolutely unhealthy measure. She has no spine, shes constantly cut off and never gets to finish her sentences or explain herself. She doesnt think for herself and has no real commentary on her thoughts past that shes confused. She has absolutely no autonomy in her situation and never seems to develop in any way. Conversations with her go like this:
Harpae: ohh my girl why did you run off
???: im sorry harpae
Harpae: i dont want to hear any excuses!
???: im sorry, i just-
Harpae: no, i understand.
???: i didnt mean to say it like that! I just-
Harpae: enough !!!!
???: ......
Harpae: .....
Harpae: oh... im sorry.....
???: no im sorry.... thank you harpae... im sorry
Word for word that conversation happens at least 16 times when youre in the Harpae chapter.
That was a bit longer than a note on the protag, but its fine. Like i said the story has a good premise, feels very mysterious and makes you want to understand. I like the way everything isnt directly shown but for christs sake, they never tell you anything. The characters almost never have any meaningful conversation. And those endings are an absolute disgrace, if you go out of your way to get the best ending it literally doesnt tell you jack shit or give you any closure at all. If you miss one regalia fuck you, play the whole game over.
Spoiler alert! The main character has multiple personality disorder, which according to the fandom page for this game actually doesnt exist anymore and its now dissociative identity disorder which i think is actually a separate thing from mpd but im not going to trust knowledge from the Pocket Mirror wiki page anyways. She has multiple personalities but.... this is also separate from another plot point, which is that her mom sold her to a demon. I have no idea how these two plots are supposed to come together and they never really do, just that the protag should make peace with herself and that there's also a weird boy devil who made a fake version of the protag for... some reason and shes also the final act of the game for.... another reason. Enjel (mirrored protag) is far more interesting than our mc in every way, so i would gladly replace her any day. Apparently the protag is actually 20 and is also in an insane asylum in the real world. I do not enjoy the way they depicted mental illness in this game, despite the compelling mystery. Theres a lot to say about it but i dont really like the concept that she has 3 distinct personalities that are easily separable from her as a person, and obviously how none of it ties into anything really at the end because the protag never gains any development from meeting them. She also did NOT seem abused enough to develop 3 whole entire personalities, thats just an insane thing to happen to someone who's dad yells and throws things sometimes. She also has a brother that looks like the demon from the game but thats just... not elaborated on.
Final notes: this game has offputting and vaugely offensive jokes in it that arent enough for me to scorn it openly but are still very weird. One line from an adult man to the child protag went something like "do i know you?"
???: "no. I dont think so...."
"Awh thats a shame, because i would totally carve your pumpkin"
Dont know what thats supposed to mean. Another conversation from a character named Fleta to a pumpkin went like this:
Pumpkin: im so sick of everyone confusing me for a pumpkin all the time!
Fleta: but you are a pumpkin...
Pumpkin: no im not! I actually identify as a member of the royal blue(?) community!
I forget the word he said exactly but the joke doesnt even make sense because royal blue(?) Is a species of squash anyways, and therefore a pumpkin. Things like these made me feel immensely uncomfortable.
I dont know how to close this out as i am a bit exhausted from the experience. If you read all of this, then thank you. If you didnt then its okay. I really wish i liked this game more as it was a gift but the amount of aggressions against the player was just so devastating. I need to take ibuprofen now, bye bye
I think the Crash stages in 3 are the peak of the series gameplay but as far as the best overall game goes, it's gotta be this one. You don't get all the crazy powerups like you do in 3, but the level design is still damn strong and endlessly replayable, and the gimmick levels are either not that bad or kept to a minimum. The absolute worst things in this game are the jetpack stages, of which there are VERY few and aren't even that bad, just a bit boring. Sadly that does include the final boss which is probably the most underwhelming in the trilogy, but Crash 2 is still a great time for 99% of its run.