To anyone reading this review who hasn't played this game, this is how it's going to go:
Devil May Cry 1 can't be that bad right? I mean the franchise has a pretty good rep so the first installment must be pretty good. Then you're going to start playing it. At first things wont be so bad. Combat feels okay for a 20 some year old game and the atmosphere is pretty damn good. You might like the sheer cheese of it too. Then you're gonna get further into the game, and when you find out the respawn system you're gonna be a little taken a back but it's not exactly a game-ruining mechanic... yet, not until you run into a boss you start having some trouble with. Then you'll begin to feel it - the jank. All of the sudden the idiocrasy of the respawn system is going to hit you, and you'll realize that it's only designed this way to pad out the runtime of the game. Still, you won't be able to bring yourself to hate it quite yet, but there is plenty of time left. You'll run into some frustrating "platforming" but other than that the game ain't so bad. Then about halfway through the game you'll realize the upgrade system is busted too, just another way the devs figured out how to slow you down. Well that's a shame because you feel like you need to get stronger for this boss you're struggling on. Then another realization is gonna hit; this is the third time you're fighting this guy, and he's not all that great of a fight in the first place. Not only that, this is only the second unique boss of the entire game, and the third act is about to begin. What's up with that? And the pacing has been pretty off too, one mission you're just walking to your objective and the next you're fighting three mini bosses and another repeat boss at the end of the mission. What's up with this game? How come it's so damn hard with such little room to get stronger? Then some grueling and unnecessary obstacles later, you'll reach the end of the game, the final boss. And it's awful. All the fight consists of is him throwing as many projectiles as he possibly can, all of which do much more damage than is necessary and then you pressing a single button that takes off a small chunk of his health that took two full minutes to charge up. Yay. Then just when you think it's over, you get thrown into a second phase, somehow even worse than the first with some of the most god-awful platforming you've ever laid your eyes on. Your gonna wonder how this game ever got a sequel. God only knows. Then you'll beat it and breathe a sigh of relief. And yet, it's still not over. For some reason the devs felt it necessary to add one more encounter with another big ass health bar at the end that consists of one (yes, one) attack that happens every 30 seconds. You spam your attacks with little resistance and he goes down for the final, final time. Now the game is over. Thank god. You don't ever wanna go through that again. Hopefully the sequel isn't as bad.
Devil May Cry 1 can't be that bad right? I mean the franchise has a pretty good rep so the first installment must be pretty good. Then you're going to start playing it. At first things wont be so bad. Combat feels okay for a 20 some year old game and the atmosphere is pretty damn good. You might like the sheer cheese of it too. Then you're gonna get further into the game, and when you find out the respawn system you're gonna be a little taken a back but it's not exactly a game-ruining mechanic... yet, not until you run into a boss you start having some trouble with. Then you'll begin to feel it - the jank. All of the sudden the idiocrasy of the respawn system is going to hit you, and you'll realize that it's only designed this way to pad out the runtime of the game. Still, you won't be able to bring yourself to hate it quite yet, but there is plenty of time left. You'll run into some frustrating "platforming" but other than that the game ain't so bad. Then about halfway through the game you'll realize the upgrade system is busted too, just another way the devs figured out how to slow you down. Well that's a shame because you feel like you need to get stronger for this boss you're struggling on. Then another realization is gonna hit; this is the third time you're fighting this guy, and he's not all that great of a fight in the first place. Not only that, this is only the second unique boss of the entire game, and the third act is about to begin. What's up with that? And the pacing has been pretty off too, one mission you're just walking to your objective and the next you're fighting three mini bosses and another repeat boss at the end of the mission. What's up with this game? How come it's so damn hard with such little room to get stronger? Then some grueling and unnecessary obstacles later, you'll reach the end of the game, the final boss. And it's awful. All the fight consists of is him throwing as many projectiles as he possibly can, all of which do much more damage than is necessary and then you pressing a single button that takes off a small chunk of his health that took two full minutes to charge up. Yay. Then just when you think it's over, you get thrown into a second phase, somehow even worse than the first with some of the most god-awful platforming you've ever laid your eyes on. Your gonna wonder how this game ever got a sequel. God only knows. Then you'll beat it and breathe a sigh of relief. And yet, it's still not over. For some reason the devs felt it necessary to add one more encounter with another big ass health bar at the end that consists of one (yes, one) attack that happens every 30 seconds. You spam your attacks with little resistance and he goes down for the final, final time. Now the game is over. Thank god. You don't ever wanna go through that again. Hopefully the sequel isn't as bad.