As the WarioWare series evolved, installments usually became more complex through new implementations of controls: Nintendo went from a D-pad + the A button in the original Mega Microgames on the GBA, to a gyro sensor + A in Twisted, to a DS touch screen for Touched, and finally to emulated Wii motion controls for Smooth Moves. So, it’s interesting how the latest installment, Get it Together, goes in the complete opposite direction and reverts back to a more conventional and simple control scheme with a single joystick + A. Unfortunately, I found it to be a regression from even the original Mega Microgames, because the gameplay felt undercooked.

Instead of referencing WarioWare’s usual motley of arcade-style structure (where the controls were generally used to manage and solve each scenario presented in drastically different manners), Get it Together plants all the microgames on the same 2D plane akin to a 2D platformer. Objectives here are pretty straightforward, and can usually be summed up as “travel from point A to point B” or “attack object(s) until you win.” As such, the main culprit behind this microgame homogeneity is that every level needs to be theoretically solvable with every single cast member; the result is that every level in isolation is somewhat basic, with designs that bled into one another after some time. This is further exacerbated because some cast members are just better versions of other cast members (ex: Ashley might as well be an amalgamation of Dribble/Spitz/Mike/Red that can attack in multiple directions) and some feel especially stunted because they’re stuck to the ground and/or can’t move (18-Volt…), nor does the game provide much incentive to play with the worse cast members during the story missions. It certainly feels like a step down from WarioWare Gold, which while I did have some minor complaints for regarding lost potential by not integrating touch-screen/gyro/gamepad controls together, nevertheless at least had depth via a suite of different control schemes to frantically juggle players through varying objectives.

I genuinely wish I had nicer things to say about Get it Together, but I was sadly underwhelmed. As usual, the sound design and vibrant art are on point, though I have to admit that the wacky vignettes didn’t quite hit it for me this time around. The side content also failed to hold my attention; there’s an endless arena mode that’s interesting for a few minutes until you realize mashing Ashley’s attack will get you easy points, an endless side-scroller mode with fairly few collectibles and obstacles, and a ball juggling mode that’s pretty optimally cleared by mashing attack with Mike. You can also buy gifts for your crew with coins earned during missions/story mode, but the resulting level-ups don’t affect gameplay outside of giving you a slightly higher score multiplier for Wario Cup, the weekly score challenge mode with online leaderboards: at least the unlocked color customization + character concept art are appreciated. That’s about all I can comment upon regarding a solo playthrough: while I can’t see myself dedicating much more time to this, I might add on a few multiplayer notes if I can get a friend to try this out with me in the future. If you want a more expansive toolkit to mess around with, then it looks like Gold is still the go-to, but if you want the back-to-the-basics idealization that Get it Together seems to emulate on paper, then I’d just recommend playing through Mega Microgames or Twisted. Sometimes, less really is more, but that doesn’t mean you have to try and reinvent the wheel in the process.

game SUCKS i go to BED

In typical Game Freak fashion, this is technology from a decade ago being paraded around like it's cool when it's Pokemon. Accelerometers tracking your movement in the night certainly works as a means of tracking sleep, but integration with wrist trackers, smartwatches, and smart rings (and AI beds? Whatever that even means?) have allowed a greater degree of fidelity for users. Sleep as Android has been doing a damn good job of telling me I have horrible sleep hygiene for a decade, only improving with time. It has recommended ways of improving my sleep, alarms that go off only when I'm in a light sleep cycle so I'm less groggy, 'captchas' were I can only turn off my increasingly loud alarm with math, or tapping an NFC point, or shaking my phone like it owes me money. Not only am I firmly entrenched in my current sleep tracker, it has always been frictionless. I tap a widget, I put my phone beside me, I sleep.

Pokemon Sleep shows a fundamental misunderstanding of why sleep trackers are used, how they are presently used, where the market lies, and how the gamification of life actually works. This isn't Habitica or Fabulous trying to improve your life through things you don't already do. I have no choice in whether or not I sleep. The appeal of a sleep tracker is that it is set and forget, a companion for something I have to and will do anyways, so it better not be an annoying partner. If Pokemon Sleep wants the user to be concerned about the quality of their sleep, shouldn't it be able to sync up with existing hardware that can supplement its readings? If sleep is meant to be restorative, why is that rejuvenation immediately undone by tutorialisation and currencies and systems and a goddamn battle pass when I wake up? Why am I chastised when I wake that I only got 54/100 sleep points because I woke in the night and can only get 5-6 hours of sleep a night if I'm lucky? Why is the assumption that 8.5 hours of sleep is a perfect ideal for everyone to aim for? Why is there no accommodation for the peculiarities of the human sleep experience, for the insomniac, the narcoleptic, the medicated? The very least it could do is offer a sleep quiz, or a calibration period. The very least it could do is not inundate me with things I have to learn and keep in mind. The very least it could do is not make my phone radiate enough heat that my wrist tracker thinks something is wrong. The very least it could do is not eat 80%(!!!) of my battery at night so I panic when I wake up. And for the chronically eepy like me, the bare minimum amount of effort could be put towards not having a minutes-long load-screen before I can track my sleep. Last night I passed out waiting for it to complete. Y'know what it took for my wrist tracker to document my sleep last night? Nothing.