I can't even bring myself to make a joke calling this game bad because there's no ape cube, because we've gotten something better instead... ROBO APE.

Good luck!

It’s complicated to talk about 64 3D for many different reasons; for one, it’s the remake of a beloved classic that, even if still faithful, adds and changes enough stuff to make it far more than a simple port or graphical update, and as such I have to see it both as the original on rail shooter that released for the Nintendo 64 and as a product that aspires to improve it, and doing both things is a doozy, specially for a fella such as myself. But that’s not all, ‘cause I also run the risk of repeating myself, Star Fox 64 is the culmination of a game that released 4 years prior to it and of the sequel that never released until very recently, it follows most of the game design philosophies as its original predecessor did, and that something that’s even reflected on the story, being a re-telling of that said first adventure. It didn’t revolutionize the formula, it didn’t reinvent the wheel, it just did more of the same but with more polygons and a better framerate. So, how do I talk about a game that just does more of the same without reiterating what me and so many others have said about the original game, and more importantly, does 64 really have value on its own?..


Of fucking course it does, did yo- did you really doubt it? Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!

Star Fox 64 feels like the exact game the team wanted to make from the very beginning, and it takes every idea that was pre-established in the past games, both un-released and released, and kicks them up a notch to the point every positive thing I once said about the past games is doubled in quality. Sure, there are still some things that don’t have the polish that they could have gotten: free flying is still a bit unreliable and it makes the battles against Star Wolf pretty darn frustrating, plus some power ups can feel a bit inconsequential and some attacks from certain bosses don’t feel telegraphed enough and can be pretty confusing to dodge, but the negatives I may have pale in comparison to the positives. The once otherworldly war that the first game put us on now turns in a galaxy wide conflict against the mechanical and rusty nightmares of Andross, and the sheer scale of the levels and enemies, plus some additions of this 3D version in regards to the presentation, make the feeling of racing against the clock grander than ever before; this a conflict that is corrupting and desolating very corner of the galaxy, and be it an attack on the capital, an enemy train sending bombs to the enemy line for them to use, or a star that has been corrupted by the evil scientist, is as terrifyingly destructive as it is fun, and it all bends together in making these phases the best of the series by far, as well as the most environmentally and narratively rich game in the franchise. Replayability is also the best it’s ever been, we still have s ton of possible routes to take, each different on their own way; each planet or asteroid field is its own world in every possible way, and I’ve never had the urge to explore and re-play a game so badly in a long time, I was happy even when I lost my first run, ‘cause that meant I’d see another planets and interactions, and that made losing more than worth it. Your team has also seen a huge upgrade, not so much because they are more competent, they are still their usual useless selves and having to save their asses constantly can be a bit tiring, but it’s all worth it when they all are so damn charming and have actual use beyond normal combat; Falcon’s witty and critical attitude can lead to amazing interactions with enemies and bosses, and having Slippy or not in the team will mark the difference between being able to see the boss’ health bar or not. The dialogue, the visual spectacle, the bosses, the music… This is Star Fox in a whole another level, and the 3D remaking makes it nothing but even more incredible.

If the original 64 was already praised for looking pretty good, 64 3D takes it to a whole other galaxy. It's not so much that the visual aspect is astonishing, tho it's an upgrade for sure, but that just the style and even the scale are so much grander, and it nails that Star Wars feeling in the best of ways, it’s like playing a movie or chapters of a TV space show. To my understanding, a lot of people didn’t really like the new voices and dialogue changes, but I can’t really speak for that since I played it with the brand new Spanish voices, which to my liking are fantastic, so hey, a soul for a soul I guess, specially considering is in even more languages.

Star Fox 64 3D and, for that matter, Star Fox 64 are, while still not perfect, the peak of the series, reaching bounds higher than I could have imagined and it was a ton of fun. It’s prove that you don’t always need breaking new ideas to make a fantastic sequel, you just need passion, good ideas and know where to expand and perfectionate on what was what established, a lesson that, funnily enough, this same series would end up forgetting not that long after…

Also, fun fact that nobody but me cares about, but turns out that the Spanish voice actor for Fox is the same actor that gives voice to… sigh… Sonic… It’s official, I cannot escape the blue rat. I’m too slow.