Surprise, surprise! A remake of one of the greatest video games of all time does in fact slap major ass! This remake is near-perfect in every conceivable way. From visuals to voice acting to quality-of-life gameplay changes to even the most granular detail in the world design. Holy fuck the architecture and art design of this game's environments man - jesus, what are they feeding those artists at Capcom? Crayons? But ones that make you good at art instead of being highly toxic?? Yeah I bet that's what they're doing!!
So if it's basically perfect, why isn't it 5 stars, you may ask?
Well, here's my thing. I gave the original RE4 a 5 star rating. When it comes down to it, making a good remake of an already brilliant game is not that impressive - nor that interesting. RE4 still holds up beautifully and is one of the best even by modern standards. So I don't mean to say that this game itself is not impressive, but making a remake of RE4 and it being good is not that huge an achievement! Like, congrats! You didn't fuck it up!
I dock points for remakes by virtue of them being remakes, especially remakes of already great games, which is what basically every remake is. If a remake of RE4 wants to be considered as good as the original RE4 is in context, that shit better suck my dick. It'd better blow my back out and give me some of the most delectable backshots imaginable for DAYS on end, you understand me?
This is what makes me far more interested in the potential Resident Evil 5 remake that's hinted at in the end cutscenes. Now there's an interesting proposition. A remake of a divisive, flawed game. That's the kinda shit I wanna see remakes do, touch up some of the messier games that clearly had potential to be great. I wanna see what they look like when you get to execute all your ideas! When you get to go back and give it some extra polish and time! RE4 is already a Top 10 Game Of All Time imo, it did not need a remake or even warrant one, as much as I am not opposed to its existence.
ALSO, they cut out a lot of my favourite parts. The minigun section in the castle, the Salazar statue chase - Salazar in particular feels quite toned down in this game, nowhere near as fun and cheeky. I get that they went for a darker, more straight-up horror vibe for this remake but I still think you could get that balance with Salazar giggling like a little cunt when I walk into the first room he's in or Luis calling Mendez "the big cheese".
Weirdly with this darker, more horror-focused tone I expected the Verdugo and especially the Regenerators to scare me quite a lot more in this version than they did in the original. Not so! You know what got me way more in this version? The fucking Garradors, man. That musical sting that plays when they spot you, the way they just go fucking ape with the flailing arms, the menacing expressions and stitched eyes, yeah man. They were the only thing to make me really uncomfortable here.
Anyway, I've said most of what I wanna say on RE4 in my previous review of the OG or on my video on the HARD DRIVE MAG YOUTUBE CHANNEL - not much more to say, game is incredibly goated. Banging inventory system, banging resource economy, banging upgrade and merchant mechanics. Banging. And the shooting range they added in this version is banging too. Fucking banging mate
So if it's basically perfect, why isn't it 5 stars, you may ask?
Well, here's my thing. I gave the original RE4 a 5 star rating. When it comes down to it, making a good remake of an already brilliant game is not that impressive - nor that interesting. RE4 still holds up beautifully and is one of the best even by modern standards. So I don't mean to say that this game itself is not impressive, but making a remake of RE4 and it being good is not that huge an achievement! Like, congrats! You didn't fuck it up!
I dock points for remakes by virtue of them being remakes, especially remakes of already great games, which is what basically every remake is. If a remake of RE4 wants to be considered as good as the original RE4 is in context, that shit better suck my dick. It'd better blow my back out and give me some of the most delectable backshots imaginable for DAYS on end, you understand me?
This is what makes me far more interested in the potential Resident Evil 5 remake that's hinted at in the end cutscenes. Now there's an interesting proposition. A remake of a divisive, flawed game. That's the kinda shit I wanna see remakes do, touch up some of the messier games that clearly had potential to be great. I wanna see what they look like when you get to execute all your ideas! When you get to go back and give it some extra polish and time! RE4 is already a Top 10 Game Of All Time imo, it did not need a remake or even warrant one, as much as I am not opposed to its existence.
ALSO, they cut out a lot of my favourite parts. The minigun section in the castle, the Salazar statue chase - Salazar in particular feels quite toned down in this game, nowhere near as fun and cheeky. I get that they went for a darker, more straight-up horror vibe for this remake but I still think you could get that balance with Salazar giggling like a little cunt when I walk into the first room he's in or Luis calling Mendez "the big cheese".
Weirdly with this darker, more horror-focused tone I expected the Verdugo and especially the Regenerators to scare me quite a lot more in this version than they did in the original. Not so! You know what got me way more in this version? The fucking Garradors, man. That musical sting that plays when they spot you, the way they just go fucking ape with the flailing arms, the menacing expressions and stitched eyes, yeah man. They were the only thing to make me really uncomfortable here.
Anyway, I've said most of what I wanna say on RE4 in my previous review of the OG or on my video on the HARD DRIVE MAG YOUTUBE CHANNEL - not much more to say, game is incredibly goated. Banging inventory system, banging resource economy, banging upgrade and merchant mechanics. Banging. And the shooting range they added in this version is banging too. Fucking banging mate
CheesyChip
8 months ago