Cloud of Darkness is #6 on the “Final Fantasy in least to most order of how lame their major antagonists are” list:

Full disclosure, I have not completed this game yet, but I think I’ve played enough FF to definitively comment here for my list.

Xande is yet another dope in thrall to an anonymous nihilist dark cloud, who unfortunately for him does not look as cool as Golbez but fortunately for him does not look as lame as Kuja. I’m also still trying to figure out if his plan makes sense or not (he realizes for the first time he’s going to die, so he wants to bring about the death of all things in existence, so he won’t die?).

However, if we’re going off of dissidia as a standard for FF villains (and we are), then Xande is not the main antagonist, but in fact the Cloud of Darkness. And... she’s cool, I guess. She’s got two snakes. She certainly looks cooler than Zeromus and whatever is going on in IX, but she’s not very complicated. Xande asked for someone or something to erase all life and consciousness as we know it and for better or worse the Cloud of Darkness is the one who showed up. I also get why dissidia passed on Xande in order to fill out their ranks with some female warriors alongside Terra and Ultimecia. In a franchise that seems to be woefully underrepresented, it’s kind of refreshing to see for once that complete and utter oblivion is a WOMAN, baby.

I’m sorry guys, I know this isn’t very in-depth, but to be completely fair to me, you’re acting like the game itself gives me a whole lot to work with either.

EDIT: okay, I’ve played it now. So Xande is part of a trio of wizard apprentices who each get fabulous gifts from their wizard master. The other two get cool shit, like powerful magic and dreams, but Xande gets mortality. This is the start of a great villain, who should have been furious at that gift even without the disappointing cop out that he was manipulated by the cloud of darkness. I would have loved some elaboration on why the wizard gave him this bum gift and a response from Xande on how he feels about it after all, or really anything on this other wizard now that I’m thinking about it. The Famicom version has just enough backstory to suggest an intriguing world, from wizard goofabouts to an ancient society playing around with crystals to make advanced technology, but not enough to sustain any actual interest. Maybe the DS remake goes into more detail? I guess I’ll never know. What, you think I’m gonna play this game AGAIN?

Reviewed on Apr 28, 2022


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