This game is just good not great, but I will never ever EVER forget it. Picture this, I'm old as hell and on my deathbed, the light in my eyes is growing dim, and all my family and friends are gathered around me to share my last moments on earth:

"Come quick everyone, it's almost time! Grampa wants to say something. What is it, grampa? Go on, take your time..."

Me: "...so what was going on with Illusion of Gaia, anyway? There's a part where one of your friends just turns into a sea monster, and he's like bye now, I'm off to be a sea monster. You meet a bunch of starving people and your pet pig suddenly gains sentience and decides to throw itself on a bonfire so they can eat him. His name is Hamlet, and one of the characters says "to eat or not to eat" while he's watching this beloved pig of theirs roast to death. There's a minor antagonist you never meet until the end, and when he tries to fuck with you, you burn him alive. You spend a good minute and a half watching this guy crawl toward you in agony as the fire just renders him down to a pile of ash and boiling body fat. I mean, what the fuck?"

And then I die.

Reviewed on Apr 29, 2022


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