If I was more miffed at my initial 90 minutes of playtime being wiped clean due to an, at the time, unknown game mechanic which kills you if you don't have enough health / morale, this may have instead been a 4.5/5. Also for the fact that when I restarted the game, for some reason the very menial and simple task of finding your other shoe on the balcony bugged for me. So despite having both shoes, I could only wear one for the first 15 or so hours, which Lieutenant Kitsuragi even pointed out to me. Luckily I acquired some adequate drip along the way and by the end I looked like Indiana Jones if he wore a trench coat with a suit of armour underneath it.

I also waited 30 hours to sing karaoke and it was genuinely worth every hour. This is why I marked the 'review' as a spoiler one, as even the most insignificant and random thing feels like such an incredibly overwhelming and important expression, and my not knowing basically anything about the game just added to several moments that I will never forget.

I'm not going to bother trying to put into words how masterful and outrageous and hilarious and ambitious this game is (whoops), but I have never played anything like it and I am so glad I picked it up for just ten dollars. What an absolute steal. Only the first month of the year and I seriously doubt any game I play will pass it. For the last two days I've experienced some at least moderate dizziness, mostly due to my unquenchable thirst of wanting to just play this game. Not since The Witcher 3 almost five years ago (how the fucking hell) have I sat and played for upwards of four hours. That is a serious amount for me and it just flew past. Absurdly good game, if there is a sequel coming then that's incredibly exciting.