This review contains spoilers

Aside from the Wind Waker remake, this is the best looking game on the Wii U and I believe the best game on the console (BOTW does not count).

It's sound design is exceptionally dynamic and should be the golden standard for every Nintendo release. it ranges from simply effective techniques like instrumentation and tempo changes for every hour of the day and peculiarly polyrhythmic drum patterns during combat that accent attacks, to the constantly shifting boss patterns with their somehow functional time signatures. It's music like this that separates games from any other media as it can feel as if a live band is reacting to your every move and its sensational.
A first playthrough might appear linear but returning to previous areas with new varieties of sentient carrot opens up massive areas you never knew existed. Entirely optional but massively rewarding to 100% with some brilliant puzzles and secrets you could entirely miss if not paying attention.

It's short and the story is incredibly simple, if quite charming (all cutscenes are quickly skippable so not to worry on replay), but both of these work in its favour. If this game overstayed its welcome or was crammed with more collectibles than it needed to be, it'd feel stressful like any of the other real-time strategy games that inspired this series. I've never enjoyed that genre since they're often militaristically uninspired and drab, even advance wars fell a bit flat for me. This game is special as while its predecessors parodied this genre by being undeniably zany, the 3rd instalment is pure zen. A garden of Eden in which you are the gardener, with just enough time pressure to keep you out of boredom and constantly productive.

Which brings me to the final stage. What the fuck is this doing in my cute game about carrots? To be clear, I do mean this in the best possible way. This encounter is alien and off-putting, which in a game that's been mostly all rainbows and butterflies, feels absolutely terrifying. Challenging too. Other than the boss previous to this one, I never really struggled in this game, though difficulty does steadily progress. That is until what seems at first like a relatively small dungeon begins to take you several days and armies to complete, all while being endlessly pursued by an unknown entity. If it was a boss in another game it would make sense. But placed in this, it's almost traumatising.

While I can be left wanting a tiny bit more from this, that's only because it is so utterly perfect at everything it sets out to do.

This review is way too long for this game. I could've returned to its picturesque gardens again in this time instead... so I shall.

Reviewed on Jun 19, 2023


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