Five minutes into the game, I'm talking to a guy in the opening area base camp, he's guarding a door or something, then BAM we're in combat

One of my team is immediately killed, then I'm bombarded with tutorial popups (whose text formatting is all fucked up because I set text size to "very large" in a vain attempt to make it easier on the eye)

Another team member goes down, a few more popups, I half wonder if this is a scripted thing so I play along, the remaining two team members die

GAME OVER

Aye, agreed