Did you know that it is against the law to say anything bad about Bloodborne? It's true. If you ever even think about how it would've been better as an action game rather than trying to be like a Souls game, you'll see police officers outside your house. They'll say you have the right to remain silent and that anything you say can and will be used against you. But that doesn't scare you. You shriek as they drag you away about how it's not fun making a build for a weapon you only get after beating the final boss. As you're waiting in your cell, your provided attorney will try and work out a plea bargain, claiming that at the very least you did play the game for 300+ hours on your PlayStation 4, way more than the weekly amount that all PlayStation 4 owners are required by law to play. While on trial however, you lash out. You say that it's not fair that Bloodborne can't even be ported over to PC, and that not getting an FPS boost for PlayStation 5 is even more outrageous. The judge bangs his gavel. You've dug your grave. You find yourself some years later, serving a life sentence because you couldn't play ball and just have fun with your hyper Lovecraftian atmospheric action adventure game. Guards walk by your cell and wince, and your fellow prisoners whisper nothing good about you. They're intimidated by you. And not because you were so brave to say that Bloodborne has flaws. But because of the same repeated phrase you have carved all over your cell. A phrase that only says... “cummmfpk”.

Reviewed on Dec 06, 2021


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what