This review contains spoilers
I have many feelings about The Quiet Man. Not all of them are bad, although most of them are. This will be laden with spoilers so beware if you're planning to play this game after reading this review (although I'm not entirely sure why you would).
The premise (I think- I'll get to that in a minute(1) ) for The Quiet Man involves a young deaf man, who for reasons never explained in my first playthrough (another thing I'll get to later(2) ), is supernaturally strong, fast and durable- to the point where getting stabbed is something you can relatively just walk off. I'm willing to give it a slight pass as it's an action game, but there are some mechanical things(3) that make this narratively dissonant. Your character's mother(4) was killed in an accident, and again, I think(1) that afterward a police officer takes you in. That police officer might also be your father, but I'm not entirely sure. You then spend the game going after your mother's killer, and then after a masked individual who stole your friend's girlfriend(4), culminating in a showdown on a rooftop.
1- Let's talk about the issue with the storytelling in this game. As I stated, your character is deaf. Due to that, whenever anyone talks, it sounds like their voice is being replaced with menu noises from a PS2. Everyone has this crystalline, floaty, echoing sound that replaces any actual words that they speak... meaning that you, as the player, has absolutely no idea what's happening at any given time. You start the game by taking out some thugs and getting a briefcase that you return to your friend, and then are either asked, or hired, or maybe force your way into (again, you have absolutely zero way of knowing.) going along with your friend's girlfriend(4) to some club she sings and plays piano at, before she's kidnapped and such.
In-universe, there's a degree of sense. Your character cannot hear anything and so everyone talking to him comes across as noise. That's fine. As a -player- it's nothing short of infuriating. You do a bunch of 3D beat-em-up fights(3) and then there's some characters that make noises at one another, and then you're beating up more people. The cutscenes are long and plentiful, using FMV real actor sequences interspersed with gameplay. But having zero context to anything doesn't add intrigue- it's just confusing. You don't know the motivations beyond 'save girl' for anything that's happening. There could be some potential context clues but they're all so minor that it's impossible to determine. It just makes trying to find a reason to keep playing a chore.
2- After you clear the game once, you do unlock a new mode where there are voice overs. This supposedly reveals more about the plot itself, but I cannot get up the care to try to play through the game a second time. Possibly this could increase the enjoyment of the game but seeing how things were handled in the other aspects, my hopes aren't high. The fact that there could be a mode that alleviates a major frustration with the game is still not enough reason to replay it is telling.
3- The core of the game are beat-em-up scenes where your deaf character takes on groups of thugs, gangsters and eventually what I think is a private security detail. Your footing on the ground doesn't seem to matter as any kick or punch you throw has you gliding forward with each movement, which makes your attacks feel as if they have no weight. Adding to that, and perhaps the LARGEST grievance I have, is that when you can actually play the game, there is no sound. No sound, no music, nothing. Just swinging your fists and feet into a soundless void. Nothing has impact, nothing has any real stakes.
Beyond that, the character has two attack buttons, and varying them can give you different combo strings. These never change (with one exception(5)) and you never learn new moves or techniques or anything, aside from a 'Focus Mode' which you only get information on if you lose a fight (which displays your mother(4) and then you're back in the fight with basically no consequence aside from restarting it) which is L2. Or LT, I guess, depending on when you started gaming. The worst part about these rather boring strings is that they are intentional. The developers wanted to tell a story and didn't want the player to get bogged down in extensive technical fighting so they made this weird, floaty, impactless, brainless system that never changes. Genuinely worse (SOMEHOW) than watching actors with PS2 voices talk to each other.
4- Sharp-eyed individuals may have noticed that I tagged both 'Your friend's girlfriend' and 'mother' with the same tag. For reasons that I cannot comprehend (although maybe it'll become clear to me if I replay this godforsaken game) they use the same actress for both your character's mother, and your sort-of love interest. She's with your best friend, but she clearly wants your character, and he has turned her down multiple times if the flashbacks and other scenes are to be trusted (although without being able to hear what the hell is going on at any point, it's hard to say).
It just gives the entire game a really gross feeling because of the very obvious sexual tension between this woman and your character, intermixed with flashbacks of his mother when it's the same actress. It just makes it seem as if he's protecting her and wants to be close to her because she looks exactly like his mother which yes, he did traumatically lose as a child, but there's still a great deal of incestual vibes that come up from it that just make everything feel...gross. Supposedly she also knows your police dad (who may or may not be your real dad) and so that almost makes it even worse.
5- The ending is a nonstop ride of batshit. Your friend turns on you (or maybe you turn on him, it's not really clear) and you end up getting shot, which is the first thing that really puts you down. However, there are flashbacks in dealing with a child psychiatrist where the child version of Dane (your character's name (which I just remembered)) is drawing a weird bird creature with his mother. It's the same mask that the kidnapper that took your friend's girlfriend wore, only kidDane tells the psychiatrist that it's him...and so then you put on the mask and despite being shot, you are now even stronger and faster and more durable than before. Then you go and fight your friend who is a muay thai expert for no real reason and you have to fight him multiple times before he shoots you more, and then doublets you in the head while you're on the ground.
Then you just...come back as some revenant of vengeance and you're even more stronger and more faster than with just the mask on and you murderkill all sorts of your friend's private security force. Then you do it to him before the super power wears off, but you're still alive, and then it turns out your police dad was the guy who wore the mask and did the kidnapping in the first place so then you fight him after you're exhausted (both your character and you, the player, for having dealt with this bullshit for this long) before it finally rolls credits once you've won.
-
There are few redeeming qualities, which I will highlight here-
-The transitions from FMV to gameplay are generally pretty smooth.
-Sometimes during the easier fights, there are flashes of things going on in Dane's mind that sort of replace the background. I thought these were a neat way to show what he was thinking while doing mindless button mashing.
-Dane has personality. Not much of one, but given everything else they bungled, I'm genuinely surprised to see that he does have a personality of his own and isn't just a blank slate.
-The transition into bird reaper of kicking ass -was- cool in an edgy way which I frankly enjoyed, but at that point I was so done with the game I really couldn't care less.
-
All-in-all, just watch a let's play. This game isn't worth playing and the only mildly interesting parts are the story anyway and even then there's basically nothing of importance here because of the fact that you have no idea what the hell is going on at any story juncture.
Final Rating: dirty stinky doodoo farts
The premise (I think- I'll get to that in a minute(1) ) for The Quiet Man involves a young deaf man, who for reasons never explained in my first playthrough (another thing I'll get to later(2) ), is supernaturally strong, fast and durable- to the point where getting stabbed is something you can relatively just walk off. I'm willing to give it a slight pass as it's an action game, but there are some mechanical things(3) that make this narratively dissonant. Your character's mother(4) was killed in an accident, and again, I think(1) that afterward a police officer takes you in. That police officer might also be your father, but I'm not entirely sure. You then spend the game going after your mother's killer, and then after a masked individual who stole your friend's girlfriend(4), culminating in a showdown on a rooftop.
1- Let's talk about the issue with the storytelling in this game. As I stated, your character is deaf. Due to that, whenever anyone talks, it sounds like their voice is being replaced with menu noises from a PS2. Everyone has this crystalline, floaty, echoing sound that replaces any actual words that they speak... meaning that you, as the player, has absolutely no idea what's happening at any given time. You start the game by taking out some thugs and getting a briefcase that you return to your friend, and then are either asked, or hired, or maybe force your way into (again, you have absolutely zero way of knowing.) going along with your friend's girlfriend(4) to some club she sings and plays piano at, before she's kidnapped and such.
In-universe, there's a degree of sense. Your character cannot hear anything and so everyone talking to him comes across as noise. That's fine. As a -player- it's nothing short of infuriating. You do a bunch of 3D beat-em-up fights(3) and then there's some characters that make noises at one another, and then you're beating up more people. The cutscenes are long and plentiful, using FMV real actor sequences interspersed with gameplay. But having zero context to anything doesn't add intrigue- it's just confusing. You don't know the motivations beyond 'save girl' for anything that's happening. There could be some potential context clues but they're all so minor that it's impossible to determine. It just makes trying to find a reason to keep playing a chore.
2- After you clear the game once, you do unlock a new mode where there are voice overs. This supposedly reveals more about the plot itself, but I cannot get up the care to try to play through the game a second time. Possibly this could increase the enjoyment of the game but seeing how things were handled in the other aspects, my hopes aren't high. The fact that there could be a mode that alleviates a major frustration with the game is still not enough reason to replay it is telling.
3- The core of the game are beat-em-up scenes where your deaf character takes on groups of thugs, gangsters and eventually what I think is a private security detail. Your footing on the ground doesn't seem to matter as any kick or punch you throw has you gliding forward with each movement, which makes your attacks feel as if they have no weight. Adding to that, and perhaps the LARGEST grievance I have, is that when you can actually play the game, there is no sound. No sound, no music, nothing. Just swinging your fists and feet into a soundless void. Nothing has impact, nothing has any real stakes.
Beyond that, the character has two attack buttons, and varying them can give you different combo strings. These never change (with one exception(5)) and you never learn new moves or techniques or anything, aside from a 'Focus Mode' which you only get information on if you lose a fight (which displays your mother(4) and then you're back in the fight with basically no consequence aside from restarting it) which is L2. Or LT, I guess, depending on when you started gaming. The worst part about these rather boring strings is that they are intentional. The developers wanted to tell a story and didn't want the player to get bogged down in extensive technical fighting so they made this weird, floaty, impactless, brainless system that never changes. Genuinely worse (SOMEHOW) than watching actors with PS2 voices talk to each other.
4- Sharp-eyed individuals may have noticed that I tagged both 'Your friend's girlfriend' and 'mother' with the same tag. For reasons that I cannot comprehend (although maybe it'll become clear to me if I replay this godforsaken game) they use the same actress for both your character's mother, and your sort-of love interest. She's with your best friend, but she clearly wants your character, and he has turned her down multiple times if the flashbacks and other scenes are to be trusted (although without being able to hear what the hell is going on at any point, it's hard to say).
It just gives the entire game a really gross feeling because of the very obvious sexual tension between this woman and your character, intermixed with flashbacks of his mother when it's the same actress. It just makes it seem as if he's protecting her and wants to be close to her because she looks exactly like his mother which yes, he did traumatically lose as a child, but there's still a great deal of incestual vibes that come up from it that just make everything feel...gross. Supposedly she also knows your police dad (who may or may not be your real dad) and so that almost makes it even worse.
5- The ending is a nonstop ride of batshit. Your friend turns on you (or maybe you turn on him, it's not really clear) and you end up getting shot, which is the first thing that really puts you down. However, there are flashbacks in dealing with a child psychiatrist where the child version of Dane (your character's name (which I just remembered)) is drawing a weird bird creature with his mother. It's the same mask that the kidnapper that took your friend's girlfriend wore, only kidDane tells the psychiatrist that it's him...and so then you put on the mask and despite being shot, you are now even stronger and faster and more durable than before. Then you go and fight your friend who is a muay thai expert for no real reason and you have to fight him multiple times before he shoots you more, and then doublets you in the head while you're on the ground.
Then you just...come back as some revenant of vengeance and you're even more stronger and more faster than with just the mask on and you murderkill all sorts of your friend's private security force. Then you do it to him before the super power wears off, but you're still alive, and then it turns out your police dad was the guy who wore the mask and did the kidnapping in the first place so then you fight him after you're exhausted (both your character and you, the player, for having dealt with this bullshit for this long) before it finally rolls credits once you've won.
-
There are few redeeming qualities, which I will highlight here-
-The transitions from FMV to gameplay are generally pretty smooth.
-Sometimes during the easier fights, there are flashes of things going on in Dane's mind that sort of replace the background. I thought these were a neat way to show what he was thinking while doing mindless button mashing.
-Dane has personality. Not much of one, but given everything else they bungled, I'm genuinely surprised to see that he does have a personality of his own and isn't just a blank slate.
-The transition into bird reaper of kicking ass -was- cool in an edgy way which I frankly enjoyed, but at that point I was so done with the game I really couldn't care less.
-
All-in-all, just watch a let's play. This game isn't worth playing and the only mildly interesting parts are the story anyway and even then there's basically nothing of importance here because of the fact that you have no idea what the hell is going on at any story juncture.
Final Rating: dirty stinky doodoo farts