...nah, too easy. That title is way too inviting to jokes I could make at its expense, and I don't even need to considering the game does a good enough job at that anyway.
The early 2000s were a big turnaround for the racing scene. You were either a Gran Turismo, or a Ridge Racer. Then Burnout pretended to up the ante (it really didn't) while Need for Speed sneaked into the fray with NFS Underground. Now racing games weren't just about racing, they were about action, and style. Burnout had plenty of the former, while NFS veered further into the latter. But who's that approaching from behind, trying to overtake? Why, it's Flatout, who's claiming it can do a bit of both.
They weren't wrong, they did what technically constitutes "a bit" of action and style, but it's really not a lot.
Flatout has ambition, if nothing else. Multiple track terrains, a damage model, destructible objects and wacky ragdoll physics? Some of these things were already a thing in contemporary racers, but weren't the focus as seen here. Unfortunately, most of the tracks are on harsh terrain - usually dirt and sometimes snow - that makes handling incredibly harsh. Despite an emphasis to go fast - and a demand to with the nitro feature - flooring it on most of these courses will just send you straight off-course and into a tree.
And you really don't want to hit that tree. Flatout's big thing is how seatbelts were just outlawed in this universe, and thus any notable collision with an object that's not destructible will send your driver flying out of the car in slo-mo. You then have to wait a few seconds before respawning several meters backwards from where you crashed - and every second of that wait is agony. Burnout 3 was a game that also prided itself on crashes, but those were high speed and exciting. Not to mention, you'd quickly respawn either where you crashed, or even a few yards ahead. It kept the momentum of the race without condemning you to last place for crashing. Flatout doesn't care, you can't handle its poor driving physics and worse crashing physics? Go to hell, have fun coming last.
It's not even a skill issue thing, the physics are just piss poor. You'll notice that very quickly in its bonus modes - there's the dumb stuff like bowling and darts, which feel like something out of Goat Simulator despite predating it by a considerable margin. Demolition Derby though, that's where its at - or at least, it would be if not for how a minor bump in the road takes off 75% of your health. For how genuinely well done the damage model is for a game that probably has a lower budget than Burnout 3, the actual damage mechanics are simply sub-par. That's not to mention the physics of ramming into destructible objects. While you gain nitro from hitting these objects, any car from the first two-thirds of the game will take a massive hit to their speed when you hit them. If anything, it does less to incentivise you hitting these objects, and more to make them into a catch-up mechanic instead. It's not inherently bad, but a bit of a headscratcher to make one of your major selling points into a negative effect.
It's not all bad - as mentioned, the damage model is superb for its time and the graphics in general are ok. What really surprised me is how well it's running on modern PCs - well, except how controller support is a disaster. You can bind modern-style controls in settings, but this also has the knock-on effect of binding those to keyboard commands...including in menus. To explain: if you set accelerate to right trigger, and brakes to left, the right and left triggers are now UP and DOWN in the menus. Deeply silly.
The soundtrack goes the licensed route, but EA had booked all the good artists so Bugbear had to make do. There aren't many songs and you'll be hearing a lot of the same ones over and over, during the 9-hour runtime. They didn't really get me in the racing mood, I must admit, but neither did the game in general.
Flatout might be entertaining if you are a child and have never played any better racing game before, but I don't think it holds up to scrutiny. Crashing is more annoying than it is funny, the amount of poor terrain tracks is exhausting - and how come you can't sell your car to get money towards a new one? You only get to keep one at a time, and upgrade the hell out of them, so why I gotta give them away to buy a new one? Yeah, not great, could be so much better.
The early 2000s were a big turnaround for the racing scene. You were either a Gran Turismo, or a Ridge Racer. Then Burnout pretended to up the ante (it really didn't) while Need for Speed sneaked into the fray with NFS Underground. Now racing games weren't just about racing, they were about action, and style. Burnout had plenty of the former, while NFS veered further into the latter. But who's that approaching from behind, trying to overtake? Why, it's Flatout, who's claiming it can do a bit of both.
They weren't wrong, they did what technically constitutes "a bit" of action and style, but it's really not a lot.
Flatout has ambition, if nothing else. Multiple track terrains, a damage model, destructible objects and wacky ragdoll physics? Some of these things were already a thing in contemporary racers, but weren't the focus as seen here. Unfortunately, most of the tracks are on harsh terrain - usually dirt and sometimes snow - that makes handling incredibly harsh. Despite an emphasis to go fast - and a demand to with the nitro feature - flooring it on most of these courses will just send you straight off-course and into a tree.
And you really don't want to hit that tree. Flatout's big thing is how seatbelts were just outlawed in this universe, and thus any notable collision with an object that's not destructible will send your driver flying out of the car in slo-mo. You then have to wait a few seconds before respawning several meters backwards from where you crashed - and every second of that wait is agony. Burnout 3 was a game that also prided itself on crashes, but those were high speed and exciting. Not to mention, you'd quickly respawn either where you crashed, or even a few yards ahead. It kept the momentum of the race without condemning you to last place for crashing. Flatout doesn't care, you can't handle its poor driving physics and worse crashing physics? Go to hell, have fun coming last.
It's not even a skill issue thing, the physics are just piss poor. You'll notice that very quickly in its bonus modes - there's the dumb stuff like bowling and darts, which feel like something out of Goat Simulator despite predating it by a considerable margin. Demolition Derby though, that's where its at - or at least, it would be if not for how a minor bump in the road takes off 75% of your health. For how genuinely well done the damage model is for a game that probably has a lower budget than Burnout 3, the actual damage mechanics are simply sub-par. That's not to mention the physics of ramming into destructible objects. While you gain nitro from hitting these objects, any car from the first two-thirds of the game will take a massive hit to their speed when you hit them. If anything, it does less to incentivise you hitting these objects, and more to make them into a catch-up mechanic instead. It's not inherently bad, but a bit of a headscratcher to make one of your major selling points into a negative effect.
It's not all bad - as mentioned, the damage model is superb for its time and the graphics in general are ok. What really surprised me is how well it's running on modern PCs - well, except how controller support is a disaster. You can bind modern-style controls in settings, but this also has the knock-on effect of binding those to keyboard commands...including in menus. To explain: if you set accelerate to right trigger, and brakes to left, the right and left triggers are now UP and DOWN in the menus. Deeply silly.
The soundtrack goes the licensed route, but EA had booked all the good artists so Bugbear had to make do. There aren't many songs and you'll be hearing a lot of the same ones over and over, during the 9-hour runtime. They didn't really get me in the racing mood, I must admit, but neither did the game in general.
Flatout might be entertaining if you are a child and have never played any better racing game before, but I don't think it holds up to scrutiny. Crashing is more annoying than it is funny, the amount of poor terrain tracks is exhausting - and how come you can't sell your car to get money towards a new one? You only get to keep one at a time, and upgrade the hell out of them, so why I gotta give them away to buy a new one? Yeah, not great, could be so much better.