I tried this game several times in the past and it never clicked. I appreciated how weird and ambitious it is but mostly figured it wasn't for me, especially the US version which removed not only the unlimited continues but also the life bar you have in the original version. However I'm cured. This time I got it. The game kicks all kinds of ass. Much like its cousin, Castlevania Bloodlines, this one is even better than its SNES counterpart in a lot of ways.

Probably the most standout gimmick is that this game has a 'story' and branching paths based on a few choices you make at certain points. It's five years after Contra III and mumbles vaguely so anyway you're a super cop who shoots robots and aliens involved in robot and alien crime. The characters are all very broadly-drawn archetypes, with the emphasis on putting you in all kinds of outrageous scenarios. The comparison to a CYOA book is obvious but apt, here, as a slight variation on the usual film inspirations which Contra has always worn on its sleeve.

So you've also got four whole playable characters in this one: A boring human dude and lady, a robot, and a werewolf with robot arms, which I don't need to tell you is the coolest shit you've ever seen. They each have different weapons and some slight variations in ability, and that all feeds into the non-standard weapon system this one has that makes co-op play more interesting and kind of helps the whole 'oops you died once now rot in hell' factor old Contras had. I like this system enough that it's a shame it was never actually built upon for any other game to my knowledge.

Ultimately, though, it's the levels and bosses that will sink and swim a goofy action game, and Hard Corps delivers on both game and aesthetic design here. Everything is so goofy. One of the first bosses is a gigantic cyclops robot that dances for no reason. At one point a bunch of enemy soldiers make a human pyramid as another miniboss encounter. Beautifully deranged stuff. The patterns are usually pretty simple and you can learn and dodge everything with practice, which is exactly what I want. There's definitely a Gunstar Heroes vibe to it, though I'm not sure how many staff the games had in common. With the game being much easier than Contra III, though, I really didn't mind the fact that they made it so much harder! I'm much more confident trying to beat this than III and its not close.

Hard Corps represents the best parts of the Genesis/Mega Drive, which is being bonkers, having farty synths, and kicking ass. I was an absolute nincompoop for thinking it was bad all these years.

Reviewed on Feb 16, 2022


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