I have become a marketable ball plushie ÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅÅHH yea he looks so soft and squishable so it was bound to happen, still it only took one spin-off the set the record straight. Kirby has done a lot of things after this, but for the first venture it is some pinball! You know it's pinball it's in the yucking name. Playing Kirby is like smoking in the non-smoking area so it's not your average pinball. Frame 1 and you're already firing Kirby in a cannon into one of the three levels there are. Now there's a left, center and right one so if this was Life Is Strange your choice would impact your political EXP bar I just made up, hmm yea the crux of the matter is that these levels have their own gimmicks to them and you get to fight Kracko, Poppy and Wispy (in-game typo, I know bro is so mad).

What happens is, you have to use your pinball skills to reach the highest floors where the boss is, honestly I'd just take the elevator but Kirby is not as weak-willed as me and I need to accept that. Kirby has no life (so me), which means bosses just restort to cucking the flippers until I relent, which I don't. Because if I did, I'd have to see this mf fall all the way down and I can't have that especially because the transition between screens is disorienting and I'd lose sight of who I am, where I am, why I am. If I do make it to the basement, scare unfolds like any good horror game: the springboard mechanic. It's like the bonus minigame in most Kirbys where you press A at the right time, but eventually Kirby's Pinball Land puts you in an unwinnable scenario. They still let you try tho but it's been an honor gents.

Among these bosses, the easiest might unironically be Dedede. No I haven't mentioned him but come on, he can't not be the final boss. He basically lets you hit whaaat 😳 I mean he has a phase where he locks into you like you have HP and he dont (its the opposite) which gives me flashbacks of me doing that as a kid in certain games tryna brute force everythang. After I've beaten him I can continue playing for a higher score, no I don't think I will. The bosses are familiar and so are their patterns, although you're gonna die at first when you don't know they're going for the damn flippers. Kracko and Poppy have chosen the path of cowardice and tag team on you with Kracko Jr. and... another Poppy Sr. The latter was the hardest to fold and dominate all over... It was kinda goofy to make Kirby warp between the two borders of the screen, he'll get airsick but it makes the fights easier I think just they take longer because you have the stop the pink bullet you're controlling.

I don't think I have grasped every gimmick to get warp stars, but I won the game and the winner writes history so I will choose to ignore them. Hitting a cloud to make it rain so a giant Kirby puts out an umbrella so it can propulse you to new heights, like at this point just ask Kirby Sr. there are no lore reasons for him telling you to suck it up and do it yourself. Furthermore... Kirby can't suck in this game! Is Kirby Sr. on sum crack? Why is there another Kirby in the first place. My noggin goin places rn.