It's not Kiryover yet. Look, he brought back two of his friends as leads, they really gonna believe they Like A Dragon at this rate. Yay I made the jokes at the start and subverted expectations let's get right into the meat no balls out. The year... is... I can't keep up, but that fella Shinada reminded me right at the end with his baseball sob story: we're in year 17 after A. N (I make it sound like Nishiki is Jesus), Kiryu is having his mid-life crisis (again) and Haruka is having her rebellious teen phase. Not rly she's a doll, maybe too much so (not my Haruka 😤), point is she packed her things and left a bunch of kids in the care of... huh, in my head they're taken care of by Mikio but my main issue with Yakuza is how important and likeable characters just vanish after one entry. Yakuza 0 Will Change Everything.

It took me almost as long to finish the game than the time Saejima spent in jail! Unlike him, I won't do my time twice. It's cute that they make you believe Majima died off-screen for so long. I kind of wish they kept that lie up to then follow the game with Majima as the protagonist of 0. Would it change anything for me, late Yakuza bloomer? No, I just crave chaos. If I wanted peace, I'd play Haruka dancing and singing for a good chunk of the game. Mayhaps I'd rope Akiyama into dancing some more.

There are a few awesome boss fights, but I feel confident in saying the combat has only been in a downward slope since 3. The final boss of the game is the worst fight in the series so far, and I do not say those words lightly. Shame, because it's a good character that ended up butchered by every aspect of the game it seems, right at the end. They sure like their twists, and add a few loose ends to the mix. All for what? Another ending where Kiryu seemingly dies? That shit lowkey hilarious I hope it happens again next time.

So many new locations, though. Yakuza is taking us for a grand tour of Japan. From beating up bears with garbage, to a giant Hatsune Miku snowoman... 💯