Bafflingly compelling.
Why does the gameplay feel like it stepped out a 2000's bargain bin, complete with explosive barrels and hilariously conspicuous invisible walls?
Why is the protagonist 7 feet tall?
Who though casting all the characters in central Europe was a good idea?
Who thought it a good idea to cast a lead whose English makes her sound like she's basically doing a female Tommy Wiseau?
Why does every cutscene end in the most abrupt fashion and seemingly half way through?
Why do they show your character taking a shower after every mission.
Why does this have the goofiest cutscene blood splatter carryover since Dragon Age: Origins.
Why is there a single East Asian character in HONG KONG?
Why is said character introduced in an early cutscene and then vanishes outside some dialogue in the Hub?
Why does said character have a Sex Slave that is mentioned in files and in dialogue that never actually appears?
Why are there 80s covers?
Why bother with highly compressed FMVs in 2023?
Why are Australians narrating about Ramen?
Who thought a crane game with no shadow casting was a good idea?
Why does only the Ramen game have unlockable additional modes?
Were the people who agreed to fund this on all the drugs?
Why am I giving this a positive score despite it not being something I would ever recommend except to other weirdos like me?
Why does the gameplay feel like it stepped out a 2000's bargain bin, complete with explosive barrels and hilariously conspicuous invisible walls?
Why is the protagonist 7 feet tall?
Who though casting all the characters in central Europe was a good idea?
Who thought it a good idea to cast a lead whose English makes her sound like she's basically doing a female Tommy Wiseau?
Why does every cutscene end in the most abrupt fashion and seemingly half way through?
Why do they show your character taking a shower after every mission.
Why does this have the goofiest cutscene blood splatter carryover since Dragon Age: Origins.
Why is there a single East Asian character in HONG KONG?
Why is said character introduced in an early cutscene and then vanishes outside some dialogue in the Hub?
Why does said character have a Sex Slave that is mentioned in files and in dialogue that never actually appears?
Why are there 80s covers?
Why bother with highly compressed FMVs in 2023?
Why are Australians narrating about Ramen?
Who thought a crane game with no shadow casting was a good idea?
Why does only the Ramen game have unlockable additional modes?
Were the people who agreed to fund this on all the drugs?
Why am I giving this a positive score despite it not being something I would ever recommend except to other weirdos like me?
Minorevolution
10 months ago