Played on the Ship of Harkinian PC Port at 30 FPS.

"Now, go home, Link. Regain your lost time! Home... where you are supposed to be... the way you are supposed to be...

What is there to say that hasn't already been said? Ocarina of Time is the eternal critical darling of the masses, an astounding transition of 2D to 3D that just does so many things right, basically consolidating the formula for many, many Zelda games to come. A story that comfortably tells a thematic narrative of time, adolescence and coming-of-age. A visual style so distinct that when Link, Zelda and Ganondorf are brought up, it is this game's depiction of them that immediately comes to mind. A soundtrack so iconic, even people who aren't familiar with video games know a track or two. The dungeon designs, the dark comedy, Z-targeting, the harem (?), all of it is so, so good, to the point where despite OOT clearly showing signs of age and retrospective reviews have rightfully argued against its masterpiece status, it still remains true to its namesake, serving as a long-standing, timeless mantlepiece of successfully executed early 3D game design.

I may not be new to the debate, but in the next 1000 words, I'll try to provide an authentic, fresh perspective of my experience:

i hate spiders i hate spiders i hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spiders i hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spiders dear lord i hate how the fucking skulltulas look why did they make me collect this many fuck spiders i hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders i hate spidersi hate spiders the person who designed skulltulas should be tried and sentenced to eternal imprisonment for hate crimes.

Final rating: i h8.5piders/10
Focus: i hate spiders
Theme: i hate spiders

Reviewed on Nov 06, 2023


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