Whooh, Poinie, your mom is bitchin'...
Words cannot describe how absurd this game is. I'm utterly convinced that this game was conceived and developed throughout its life-cycle by a group completely high on acid, because that's what this game feels like. Heck, you could even make the argument that the poins are a metaphor for drugs, with their ability to manipulate emotions and all. With that in mind, the fact that the game design encourages you to use poins to change civilian's emotions to help you progress through the game is... quite frankly disturbing. Yay for drugs...?
Poinie's Poin, both visually and literally, is made as if it were a game for kids. Every location feels like a Skittle colour palette of Candyland themes, giving off this psychedelic, surreal vibe that even outclasses Klonoa. You know, a game about entire dream lands???? They're all painted in the most obnoxious, vibrant hues of the rainbow imaginable, as if to mimic the setting of a preschool cartoon. The gameplay lends itself well to double down on this 'children's game' vibe, with the controls being the most basic 'jump, grab and throw' possible. Most levels quite literally have the solution to a puzzle illustrated right next to it, or have simple, large platforms with small gaps in between that children can easily jump across and go 'Hey look mommy, I made progress!'. Boss fights are also fairly easy to understand, and most of the time the game is generous enough to include large numbers of poins for you to use.
Yet at the same time, despite its in-your-face kiddy aesthetics, this game is clearly not made for children. I think.
If the opening line of this review didn't set off an alarm, it probably should when you actually hear it in-game. This line is delivered by the same pint-sized kid who, earlier on in the game, would call one of your fellow companions a 'vixen' upon meeting her for the first time. The same companion who gets constantly called a 'babe' by the Eric Cartman-sounding duck on your ass. The same duck who, likewise, tells you to either 'go pee or get off the pot' when making a decision.
This shit gets hilariously dark, man! Poinie's a fucking terrorist, have you seen what he does? He floods an entire city by making a pirate fish cry! He causes a dog chef (who says the line 'Today's cooking was really cooking!' unironically) to fucking blow up his own restaurant! An explosion so strong it caused structural damage in the SEWERS! And of course, there's the finale of the game, where Poinie and Lilin crash a ROCKET into Jellytown! You can even see the pavement bursting from the ground due to the impact! And yet somehow, the only thing damaged throughout this whole ordeal was a singular coffee shop. I feel bad for whoever runs that store. Perhaps the darkest thing about the story, though, is that at one point in the game, the leader of the PetitGang tells one of his gang members to go back into HER CAGE??? And then says they need to get a new MUZZLE for her??? And then the girl literally says, and I quote:
"Men! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em!"
??????????????
As if it wasn't already obvious from everything I've said so far, this game is flat out bonkers. It feels more like a parody of a children's cartoon, and as many reviewers before me have put it, a piece of lost, obscure media that only a handful ever remember. What I also appreciate about this game, however, is its qualities as a surreal horror game disguised as a preschool game. I mean, you're constantly reminded of it throughout the experience, from the drug metaphors to the constant annihilation of JellyTown to the crude language. Unlike certain franchise like Poppy Playtime, however, the game does a splendid job about being subtle around it. These moments of absurd darkness are, in reality, sandwiched between mostly childish dialogue and bright colours, leaving them to be quickly brushed aside by both children and their parents alike. Besides, if there's one line that everyone remembers from this game, it's 'Yippie! Yo! You can't touch this!' anyway (can we also talk about the pop culture references in this game? MC Hammer was relevant a decade before this, and there are also nods to Bon Jovi, Mary Poppins and Yoda). This is probably why Poinie's Poin, despite being primarily dubbed and subbed in English, was an exclusive Japanese release, because I hardly believe most Japanese families would notice the swearing, anyway. It's a great thing the Internet wasn't as big as it is today.
One thing that puzzles most of the community today is the fact that Poinie's Poin, with all its obscurity and weirdness, was actually endorsed by Sony Computer Entertainment themselves. Quite frankly, I'm not surprised. SCE has always been weird with their promotion of PlayStation-related content, especially in the 2000s. I mean, why else would they film that fucking baby vs PS3 commercial? Yet it surprises me that 'till this day, the most people know about this game is through Vinny Vinesauce, because Poinie's Poin truly feels like a cult classic video game. With its lost media vibes, incredibly surreal aesthetics, childlike environments and shockingly blink-and-you-miss-it tones of abrupt maturity, Poinie's Poin deserves to be known as one of those 'games of all time', and a game that defined the weirdness of the early 2000s and SCE as a whole.
One thing remains consistent throughout this acid trip, however:
The camera control sucks ass. This truly was an early 2000s PS2 game.
Final rating: 7/10
Focus: whatever the fuck this game is
Theme: what the fuck
Words cannot describe how absurd this game is. I'm utterly convinced that this game was conceived and developed throughout its life-cycle by a group completely high on acid, because that's what this game feels like. Heck, you could even make the argument that the poins are a metaphor for drugs, with their ability to manipulate emotions and all. With that in mind, the fact that the game design encourages you to use poins to change civilian's emotions to help you progress through the game is... quite frankly disturbing. Yay for drugs...?
Poinie's Poin, both visually and literally, is made as if it were a game for kids. Every location feels like a Skittle colour palette of Candyland themes, giving off this psychedelic, surreal vibe that even outclasses Klonoa. You know, a game about entire dream lands???? They're all painted in the most obnoxious, vibrant hues of the rainbow imaginable, as if to mimic the setting of a preschool cartoon. The gameplay lends itself well to double down on this 'children's game' vibe, with the controls being the most basic 'jump, grab and throw' possible. Most levels quite literally have the solution to a puzzle illustrated right next to it, or have simple, large platforms with small gaps in between that children can easily jump across and go 'Hey look mommy, I made progress!'. Boss fights are also fairly easy to understand, and most of the time the game is generous enough to include large numbers of poins for you to use.
Yet at the same time, despite its in-your-face kiddy aesthetics, this game is clearly not made for children. I think.
If the opening line of this review didn't set off an alarm, it probably should when you actually hear it in-game. This line is delivered by the same pint-sized kid who, earlier on in the game, would call one of your fellow companions a 'vixen' upon meeting her for the first time. The same companion who gets constantly called a 'babe' by the Eric Cartman-sounding duck on your ass. The same duck who, likewise, tells you to either 'go pee or get off the pot' when making a decision.
This shit gets hilariously dark, man! Poinie's a fucking terrorist, have you seen what he does? He floods an entire city by making a pirate fish cry! He causes a dog chef (who says the line 'Today's cooking was really cooking!' unironically) to fucking blow up his own restaurant! An explosion so strong it caused structural damage in the SEWERS! And of course, there's the finale of the game, where Poinie and Lilin crash a ROCKET into Jellytown! You can even see the pavement bursting from the ground due to the impact! And yet somehow, the only thing damaged throughout this whole ordeal was a singular coffee shop. I feel bad for whoever runs that store. Perhaps the darkest thing about the story, though, is that at one point in the game, the leader of the PetitGang tells one of his gang members to go back into HER CAGE??? And then says they need to get a new MUZZLE for her??? And then the girl literally says, and I quote:
"Men! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em!"
??????????????
As if it wasn't already obvious from everything I've said so far, this game is flat out bonkers. It feels more like a parody of a children's cartoon, and as many reviewers before me have put it, a piece of lost, obscure media that only a handful ever remember. What I also appreciate about this game, however, is its qualities as a surreal horror game disguised as a preschool game. I mean, you're constantly reminded of it throughout the experience, from the drug metaphors to the constant annihilation of JellyTown to the crude language. Unlike certain franchise like Poppy Playtime, however, the game does a splendid job about being subtle around it. These moments of absurd darkness are, in reality, sandwiched between mostly childish dialogue and bright colours, leaving them to be quickly brushed aside by both children and their parents alike. Besides, if there's one line that everyone remembers from this game, it's 'Yippie! Yo! You can't touch this!' anyway (can we also talk about the pop culture references in this game? MC Hammer was relevant a decade before this, and there are also nods to Bon Jovi, Mary Poppins and Yoda). This is probably why Poinie's Poin, despite being primarily dubbed and subbed in English, was an exclusive Japanese release, because I hardly believe most Japanese families would notice the swearing, anyway. It's a great thing the Internet wasn't as big as it is today.
One thing that puzzles most of the community today is the fact that Poinie's Poin, with all its obscurity and weirdness, was actually endorsed by Sony Computer Entertainment themselves. Quite frankly, I'm not surprised. SCE has always been weird with their promotion of PlayStation-related content, especially in the 2000s. I mean, why else would they film that fucking baby vs PS3 commercial? Yet it surprises me that 'till this day, the most people know about this game is through Vinny Vinesauce, because Poinie's Poin truly feels like a cult classic video game. With its lost media vibes, incredibly surreal aesthetics, childlike environments and shockingly blink-and-you-miss-it tones of abrupt maturity, Poinie's Poin deserves to be known as one of those 'games of all time', and a game that defined the weirdness of the early 2000s and SCE as a whole.
One thing remains consistent throughout this acid trip, however:
The camera control sucks ass. This truly was an early 2000s PS2 game.
Final rating: 7/10
Focus: whatever the fuck this game is
Theme: what the fuck