I'd congratulate Housemarque for making the second ever roguelike I actually reached the credits of, but this is barely even a roguelike. It's barely even a roguelite honestly, the frequent checkpointing and overall lack of build variety means that this is really just a bullet hell shooter that forces you to replay its levels a bunch. And I'm fine with that. I don't enjoy the roguelike formula that much anyway, so it's cool to walk into this expecting to hate it and come out the other side resoundingly not miserable.

It helps that the combat loop is as fun as it is, especially once you get towards the end and everything is moving at a million miles an hour. It's so satisfying to walk into a room, filled with enemies, absolutely demolish the place, and walk out with barely a scratch. I wish the game shook up the formula more though, there's loads of weapons and items to play with, but most of them are dreadful, or situational to a fault. Hades is brilliant because it's so varied AND all of the content is top notch. Returnal has about two guns that are good, a ton of items that I got about one use out of, and a gambling system that more often than not can be ignored entirely.

The story is easily the worst part though. I think the ideas it plays with are really cool, but the direction it goes with them is so underwhelming. The house sequences are unapologetically shit; slow, clunky, uninteresting PT knockoffs that feel so out of place and barely develop anything. Every part of the storytelling is so drenched in metaphor and symbolism you can barely even work out what the writers were even trying to say, when really the story they were telling is laughably simple. Actually cackled when the credits rolled, could not believe it ended as abruptly as it did.

Is fun though. I'll give em that.