Who the fuck wanted a Wario game back in 1994? That's my immediate question. Granted, this choice would eventually pay off as Wario became a beloved character in our dollar sign-shaped hearts, alongside some great games coming out in his future (Wario Land 4, Wario World, the WarioWare series...). So my point isn't to disparage Wario's popularity. I'm just incredulous that back when Wario wasn't the known figure he is now, this dev team was given permission to make a Mario game in which Mario is barely existent, in his place being this newcoming greedy goblin creature, and it WORKED. It got him several sequels and two seperate franchises, it worked like a fucking charm, and though I'm happy it happened, it boggles the mind how it did.

With all that said, I feel like the first Wario Land is... an acquired taste. The music, being just one example of that. The controls, being a bigger one. You kinda move into this game expecting Wario to have the same amount of fluidity as Mario Land 2 did, and that's just simply not the case. This is a heavier, stiffer character, and it took me at least half the game to adjust to it. Once you figure out that holding up makes you jump further though, you start abusing that as your main form of movement, and I think that's when things really start clicking.

I still like the nostalgicness of the world map found here, and I appreciate that secret exits may directly alter the world map itself, which in turn may also alter the levels found inside them. I believe the later Wario Lands would make even further extensive use of this idea, while here, it's a neat prototype for what could be done later.

The name of the game is collecting as many coins as you can. It's a similar principle to Luigi's Mansion, the more coins you amass, the better a house you get for your ending. Alternatively, you can spend these coins to earn 1-ups, activate checkpoints, or gamble all those shits away on a double-or-nothing minigame, and let the world watch your face droop in real-time as you once again lose every coin you've amassed over the course of a stage.

That last option isn't exactly fun when it happens, and that minigame is the only real way to get some of those better endings. But, seeing as the endings serve about 5 seconds worth of difference between each one, I think it'd be in your best interest to just completely ignore this aspect of the game, and use the coins on 1-ups instead. The whole gambling thing is stressful, punishing, and completely based on luck. It's not worth the hassle, certainly not worth a waste of your hard-earned coins. Unless you save state your way through it, you dirty scamp you.

Anyway, while I consider this as a good handheld title for its time, is Mario Land 3 worth your time now? Once. Just once. It doesn't feel right to play, but is possible to adjust yourself to, and what you get with that is some pretty alright level design, and a respectable amount of variety that'll carry you through. If you don't care about chronology however, most people will tell you to start with Wario Land 4, and they'd be right. The first Wario Land here, still has some kinks it needs to desperately iron out.



Reviewed on Sep 10, 2023


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