You damn kids and your Undertale and your TikTok. Back in my day, when a video game became an Internet meme, it's because there was an awkward English localization in a completely obscure, unremarkable game I was never going to play. And as I walked uphill five miles in the snow to get to school, I thought saying "all your cards are belong to me" to my friends as we traded Digimon cards was hi-LAR-ious!

Alright alright, moving on, finally playing this game after knowing about it for about 20 years was quite a deflating "is that it?" experience. Turns out there's a reason the All Your Base meme is its only lasting legacy. If you've played anything in the side-scrolling shooter genre, then you've probably played a better game than Zero Wing is now. Most of the gameplay is weaving your fragile little ship through narrow corridors like the thread of a needle while you wait for the screen to scroll all the way to the right.

At least the soundtrack is a banger.

Reviewed on Nov 25, 2021


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