Phantom of the Opera is the longest-running show on Broadway, much to the chagrin of the theater cognoscenti. There are so many better shows to see, ones with more emotion and plots that actually make sense, but people love to go see Phantom regardless. It’s so bombastic, so energetic, so confident that you can’t help but get wrapped up in the magic, even when the ridiculousness will inevitably dawn on you as you exit the theater. Since it was produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber, and how this nonsensical high-bombast pattern applies to many of his works, I categorize games following this style as Andrew Lloyd Webber games. Bloodrayne is a prime example; it isn’t a good game by any means, but it has such an overpowering Phantom-like confidence that I can’t help but relish it. An action game about a sexy vampire fighting cyber-nazis presented without a shred of self-awareness like this could only happen in the early 2000’s, when edgy heroes and World War 2 shooters were at their peak. If the joyful idiocy of all this doesn’t interest you though, then there’s really no reason to play it. The action is like if Devil May Cry had no depth other than mashing the attack button, and the concrete corridors you find here aren’t exactly gothic architecture. That comparison is even being generous to Bloodrayne, when the first of the three episodes is set entirely in a Louisiana swamp, and features some truly awful level design. I wish there was a fun moveset to go over or a great boss I could praise, but the mediocrity is comprehensive, and the only deviations are towards the negative. It’s a simple game that will either win you over with its flamboyant pulpiness, or not at all. I may have gotten my money’s worth, but for most people I doubt it’s worth the trade of a night out.