As of the start of this particular document, I've tried three times to write a review of Darius Gaiden. Should I be more in-depth? A comedic piece perhaps? No, I cannot. I'm putting the joke book away for this, no funny thesaurus words either. I can't insult this masterwork like that, but what can I even think of for it?

All I can think of...is art. What is "art" exactly? It's a nebulous term, and we're already programmed to think of art as anything involving such things as drawing or sculpting and the like, but there's at least ten delightful people out there who believe that Beyblades are art. It's the things that you personally never get tired of feasting your eyes and ears on, like candy to the senses and perhaps even the soul. It matters not what it is, but how it makes you feel. Emotion. Feeling. Happiness. Sorrow.

Close your eyes.

What do you see? For me, it's the nonstop push I've found myself in by constantly doing the top-most route of Gaiden. A whole week I have done nothing in this game, but go up and up this escalator of delusion. Fatty Glutton? I hate your guts, I don't give a shit about your kids. Crusty Hammer? Keep me away from your strangly hitbox'd claw blade. Great Thing? What a terrible thing you are actually, you ain't so great when I'm done with you after dying three times to your homing lasers. I cannot possibly find the correct word on dictionary.com to express the sheer amount of vitriol I have for all three of these damned sea-based behemoths. Yet, I still come back for more, just to try and best the lot of you in a more impressive fashion...and keep my stock of bombs at a high amount, to savor the visual hypnosis that is the effect of the black hole as it consumes many while the Saturn port's slowdown makes it last longer.

The need to restart the journey over again constantly, yet grow better, and to be low-key rewarded by experiencing new observations; such as realizing that Great Thing spawns in right on cue with the music if you don't lose all of your lives during Stage Z'... is this art? Is it maybe... the Art of STG? To start as a mere beginner and be constantly obliterated, to only get better to the point of obliterating the game just as easily as it once obliterated you?

...my eyes are opened.

Darius Gaiden... perhaps I have underestimated you after all of those prior entries I slogged through. At long last, you have impressed me, and finally I can comfortably hail you alongside the likes of Gradius and R-Type.

I give a hearty cheerful chuckle

Welcome to the crew, lad.