Putt Party is a Mini Golf game that was apparently added to Discord activities a while ago, and on a whim a friend booted this up at random for us to play after watching something.

Mini Golf is something that is hard to screw up I feel, but they found a way. In order to do this, they added Mario Kart-esque power ups that throw shenanigans into the mix. I don't mind shenanigans, but there's just way too much. Balls can be grown large, made sticky so they cling to walls with zero bounce, a fake-ass triple direction aimer, and on top of all that they can summon the tornado from NASCAR Rumble onto the course and tank someone's frame rate when it gets too close. Just when the tomfoolery couldn't get any worse, there are also bugs! Lots of them!

During one course, a friend activated the sticky balls power up and for the rest of the six holes our balls were permanently made sticky! Needless to say, she had a major advantage and proceeded to get first place. I got second and was the real winner, but that's beside the point! Another good one was when I finished the course and waited for the rest to finish, only for me to find out that apparently everyone else just saw my ball waiting in the corner of the course while I couldn't do anything to fix it but wait out the timer? This wasn't just me, it even happened to another friend later on! An actual funny one was when our host apparently slapped their ball so hard that it flew to another course, and scored them two hole in ones somehow!

There's also this awful homophobic wind bullshit that can blow your balls from close to the hole all the way back to the beginning of the course depending on the layout! The shenanigans were so bad that a friend left the call in frustration! I don't blame them! More than enough of a reason for me to wish this game had a physical being, so I can smash them into little itty bitty pieces and sprinkle them all over the floor like Sticky Fingaz would've if this game were in Def Jam Fight For NY.

It made me feel bad for my friend, and that's no good! Putt Party! More like....Butt Party! Go make someone else's balls permanently sticky you unpleasant mess of a game!

Reviewed on May 22, 2023


2 Comments


1 year ago

YO THEY FINALLY ADDED THIS

1 year ago

they added some more in the updates so my friend group had to collectively agree to not use the new "ice physics for the entire hole" power