The 2022 Golden Gremmies

The dark counterpart to the Golden Gizmos. These games were left out after midnight, someone got them wet and the back of the discs are now festering with boils, threatening to birth more rancid games into the world. Another way of looking at it is that these are the three worst games I played in 2022. Unlike the Gizmos, it is not a requirement for me to complete these games, and honestly if they're so bad I bailed that probably says something more about them than if I finished it.

Slavishly faithful to emulating the feel and quality of 5$ bargain bin games circa 2004. The train level was hands down the worst single stretch of gameplay I've experienced all year, just a prime example of someone playtesting the game who also worked on it with zero outside input. Sometimes I like to think about the Trolley Problem with the entire development team tied down to one track and the lead designer of the train level secured to the other. I'd probably direct the trolley to rip through the lone designer then wait for another to take out the rest. Bad game.
The greatest compliment I can give High on Life is that its gameplay is serviceable. You pull the trigger and you shoot the gun, you target rails and you grapple when you hit the button. It works. Unfortunately, High on Life is dragged down by excessive obnoxious dialog. I don't hate Rick & Morty, I just don't care about it. But it's clear Dan Harmon has the ability to reign Justin Roiland in and use his humor to create a coherent episode-to-episode narrative. High on Life is Roiland in a booth spit-balling "dialog" in such quantity that the game is constantly tripping over itself to play clips of him talking, and it's agonizing. You can turn the frequency of the voice clips down, but at that point are you really playing High on Life the way God intended?
I wrote an exhaustive review you can check out if you wanna know what I really think about this one, and I have little else I can add here that I haven't already said. I didn't touch on combat in that review, which mostly amounts to mashing the same button over and over again because you can turn auto-combos on and there is frankly no reason not to, or how absolutely bored the voice actors seem to be. The Egg Memos sounds like Mike Pollock got loaded up on codeine, and I can sympathize since playing this garbage makes me feel about the same.

Comments




Last updated: