"Don't say stuff like that, it's depressing"
- Sora Kingdom-Hearts (2013)
Two weeks after the day I began the game, I have finally finished Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, my most anticipated game of 2024. What I imagined would be my surefire GOTY runaway pick, with Final Fantasy VII Remake being a game I beat three times, ended up being something I couldn't even smile at in completion. The ramifications of a changing games industry on Square Enix have been plentiful, with a large creative downfall since Final Fantasy XII hit the late-stage PS2 in 2006, the series has had a handful of ups and a plethora of downs. For every Final Fantasy XVI or VII Remake, there were three FFXIII's and a Crisis Core in tow. Quantity beseeched lack of quality, and the legendary fervor the series had invoked for decades previous had largely escaped. With the aforementioned XVI and VII Remake, it seemed like Square had finally righted the ship, creating action-rpg experiences with their familiar franchise that were quality in both narrative and mechanical scope... so what happened with Rebirth? I will divulge below.
I'll start with the good, and to give credit to the Rebirth team there is quite a bit of positives about this title in its entirety. The most immediate and obvious boon to Rebirth and the legendary world of Final Fantasy VII is... the world itself. Shortly after the completion of chapter one the game opens up to a faux open world (in reality, this is open zone) that beckons Cloud and the rest of Avalanche's splinter cell to roam across it. Throughout the fourteen chapters of the game the world and environment are thrown at the player to ooh and ahh at, beautiful beyond words especially in contrast to the 1997 title. Historical moments from twenty seven years ago are brought into HD in a manner that not even I could imagine, with my mouth agape at so many of the backdrops and cities recreated within Rebirth. Familiar places (of which I shall not divulge in respect to spoilers) blew me away. For a game that was developed effectively in four years, it is almost impossible to believe how hard the team led by Naoki Hamaguchi must have worked to not only create, but faithfully bring back to life, a world that was rich back then into the modern gamescape. As I motioned throughout Cloud's journey and came across familiar sites, my brain superimposed the 1997 titles' pre-rendered backgrounds and polygonal Cloud in front of me. There's a significantly delicate line that had to be walked across to be faithful to what was originally imagined and entered into the annals of media history by Yoshinori Kitase while also putting together an engrossing and interactive world for the zeitgeist of pop culture, and yet they found success. Colors pop, the world is filled to the brim with flora, fauna and perfected asset-placement to make it feel lived in. Each biome/locale is visibly different from the rest, granting a linear benchmark for players to cite where the memorable moments of their journey lie and how far they've come... it's impressive and one of the better done worlds that I've experienced in recent memory.
Character writing remains another highlight that carried over from Remake, with some of the original titles' most heart-gripping and serious moments taking place in Rebirth. The nice thing about having a thirty plus hour experience and the events that took place after Cloud joined the squad in Midgar is that the party is very familiar with one another. Barrett takes a more mature role, often playing the voice of reason to Cloud's ever-growing disillusionment. Aerith and Tifa become best buds gushing over the blonde bombshell's buster sword skills, while also careful of his Sephiroth-borne fragility. Red becomes a trusted confidant, friend, and much more than the lab-rat you find him as in the tail-end of Remake. Couple these in with new crew additions like Yuffie, Vincent, Cid, and Cait and you've got a colorful crew (mostly) ready to save the day. They all play off each other well too, keeping the focus on the effectively apocalyptic nature of the world they're in but not allowing the fear and anxiety to overwhelm them, often quipping with one another on their route with jokes and aimed gags. The lightheartedness of the in between moments in Rebirth gave this game legs that are very hard to convey without voice acting and simply as text upon a screen. Aerith, Red, Cloud, and even asinine characters like Cait are legitimately funny throughout this title. My only real gripe about the character writing is that Yuffie, a completely optional character in the Original FFVII talks WAY too much about Materia and how EVERYTHING has to be excused for her involvement because it could result in a cool-hip new materia for Wutai. That got old real quick, but thankfully tapered off in the game's final few chapters. There were a few moments where the tear ducts wanted to rev up, all moments that originated in 1997 but didn't come to emotional fruition until 2024. Moments like these drive home how special this remake series is, not only to FFVII itself but also for the history of gaming at large. The ability the Rebirth team has to bring these special scenes to life is going to do a lot for people who have grown up knowing Cloud and the gang for as long as they've been around.
Per usual I won't speak on the greater narrative at hand, but I do strongly believe it does a great job in not just remaining faithful to the original vision developed by Kitase, but expounding on the landmark moments as well. As I touched on in the previous paragraph, the VA work and modified writing a great job on their own, but the longform dedicated cutscenery is the right hook to the emotional network of Rebirth. You can tell this game was expensive to develop for a lot of reasons, but for the sake of this point its most evident in the advanced effort put into the CGI. I was yet again pausing ad nauseum taking screencaps of characters faces, beautiful backdrops, summons, cool moves, and epic fights. Because everything looks so damn good, it makes the moments that were so narratively impressive in the first title even more so in Rebirth. Character deaths, story arcs (Red's and Barrett's in particular) are tear-jerk extravaganza's because of the visual sheen that everything has.
Other miscellaneous congratulations to this game are in order for having an actual enjoyable card game (the first since Triple Triad in FFVIII) in Queen's Blood, and for also having one of the best introductory chapters in any title that I’ve ever played. To echo the former, I didn't realize how cavernous the minigame content would get within Rebirth, but Queen's Blood kept going, and it felt better and generally more fun with the more cards I got. I found myself restarting matches less and thinking more creatively against advanced opponents, it was cool!
Unfortunately that is where the good within Final Fantasy VII Rebirth generally stops for me, in the Final Fantasy VII of it all. The moments they re-created and breathed new life into were f** awesome, but what the team added and engulfed the title into was largely fluff work that waned my enjoyment of Rebirth greatly.
There's a real power in having a concise game, in a linear narrative or a controlled game that beckons the player to complete it in a structured manner. Now if you've read my reviews thus far this may seem like it combats my affinity for player agency, but it really doesn't. The best games are once that allow players to meld their playstyle to a journey that doesn't waste their time or ask them to embark upon completion of side content that exists without point. My favorite Final Fantasy titles are FFX, FFXVI, and FFVII Remake... some of the more "linear" titles that the series has to offer (XIII was not good, I choose to forget about it.) These three games push the player through loss, intense conflict, entire character arcs, and changed worlds without forcing the player into sidequest hell. This is where Rebirth falters so greatly that I could hardly believe what I was dealing with, even so much to think I was being pranked early into chapter two of fourteen. I rolled my eyes so hard that they almost fell out of their socket when nobody's favorite AI Chadley mentioned the "TOWERS" that Cloud would have to find across each region to map out the other sidequest chains. You go to a tower, of which there were probably six to eight for each of the game's major regions, and these towers would shine light on the location of special fights, lore spots that decreased the power of the area's summon, protorelic locations that involve a major sidequest line with a secret boss, and scavenging hunt locations. All of these suck by the way, none of them were enjoyable.
The Ubisoft-ification of the industry at large plagues open world titles, forgoing the legitimate interest these massive lived out zones can have in favor of map markers that are nothing more than things to complete. You backtrack, climb, hide, slide, and glide all over Final Fantasy VII Rebirth just to tick a checkmark and get on with your marry way. Where XVI and VII Remake succeed is that the only side content that involved, are sidequests of which there aren't really that many. People had a qualm with the volume of XVI's side quests, but Rebirth's feels as if it were tripled, especially with the length that these have. It was fun to become engrossed with the populous of these new locales and fulfill their requests as you do in Remake, however the vast majority of these end with you fighting some big bad monster at the end to right all of their wrongs. This got old REAL quick, as you enter a new area ready to become engrossed in the legendary narrative and beautiful world just to be met with a litany of orange "GO HERE FOR TOWERS" and green "MONOTONOUS SIDEQUEST" notices with a full on checklist to work through as soon as you arrive. My major qualm here is that there's a legitimate power into letting players breath and become involved in the world that has been meticulously laid before them. When I get to [insert location] I want to be wowed by the overwhelming forest and beautiful greens and blues that bring it to life. I want to meet the characters that will guide Cloud along his journey and the troubles that are soon to follow before I'm beckoned to engage with recycled mechanical content that feels more like a chore than a game. I wouldn't've had as much of an issue with this if it was lower in volume or didn't persist for as long as it did... but for ten of the games first twelve chapters (2-11,) I was doing a thousand yard stare as I powered through tower after tower and fought fiend after fiend to quell whatever concern villager after villager had. I became tired, and that's something that let me down more than anything else with Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
And while I'm complaining about the Ubisoft plague on Square Enix' household, can we talk about those Moogles? like... what is this? Why is this? Who is this? Remember that one story of the Composer for the Resident Evil Dualshock edition who gave us the butt trumpets because he convinced everyone at Capcom that he was deaf, but he actually wasn't and had absolutely no idea how to compose video game music? Do we have a certain situation with the design of the moogle here? Moogles by the way were another genuinely awful minigame mechanic within Rebirth, forcing you to round up five or so moogles into a round pen while they throw a cacophony of mysterious attacks at you. Cloud does this inside of a moogle chief's mushroom house while nightmare fueling music plays. The hero of a resoundingly serious narrative in which the fate of the world as we know it and the entire population within is on the line, is running in circles pushing these Lovecraftian creatures together so he can buy some... books? It sucks and it isn't even the worst of the side content that you as the player are asked to complete because it holds rewards that make you and your party stronger.
The other is the completion of the protorelic questline, rewarding you with the ability to transmute top of the line gear and a summon that is stronger than most of the ones you'll receive. None of these protorelic questlines are fun, and there's one again for each major region that Cloud finds himself in. Four times the player in these areas will be asked to engage with a certain minigame to get closer to retrieving a protorelic. In the first area this is Queen's Blood which is... doable. In the second it's Fort Condor, raise your hand if you had ANY fun playing Fort Condor in the 1997 title or in the Intermission content for Remake. See? I don't even need to know who you are, what you look like, or where you are to know that ZERO people in the world are raising their hand. With Fort Condussy in mind, another region asks Cloud to learn how to play Battle Bots to obtain this gear... for what reason? Couldn't tell you! Is it thematically relevant to the narrative or world at hand? No! Is it fun at all? No! Does it make you, the player, feel like you've used your time accordingly? Absolutely not! But hey, there's useful gear hidden behind this questline so you better do it! The worst offender doesn't materialize until the last chapter of the game in which you are asked to play "Cactuar Crush" with a goblin named Kid G. Do yourself a favor right now, if you don't care about a minor sidequest spoiler, and look at what Kid G from Rebirth looks like. You'll want to wish you never read that sentence. Cactuar Crush is a minigame in which you have to kill a certain amount of nobody's favorite Final Fantasy recurring Cacti in a restricted time span. The kicker is that these cactuar have varying resistances that force the player to switch up their strategy to combo and kill. In theory this sounds like an engaging minigame to take part in, perhaps getting creative with movesets and attack combos. In reality though you're using Yuffie and Aerith to frantically take out these repulsively loud enemies in an awfully short period of time, stressed to hit a score that is definitely too high for the amount of time given and the ease it is to be docked points when you're hit. Add the awfully repulsive volume and frequency in which these cactuar make noise and you'll wish it was never a part of the game. That's my take on sidequest and tertiary content of FFVII Rebirth. You could offer the rebuttal to the above of "just don't do it," but there's unfortunately a sizable amount of useful material, gear, and experience stowed away within.
Not far removed from the amount of fights that these minigames and secondary content throws you into is my qualm with the combat and weapon upgrading at large within Rebirth. Final Fantasy VII Remake largely got it right, with fights that could be repetitive but it was pretty well split between humanoid enemies within Shinra and fiends that were found within the world. Bossfights weren't recycled for the most part, and they weren't perfect, but they were doable and outside of the Rufus fight... pretty easy to get through on your first go. Rebirth flips that one on its head and says "how about we bring a lot of those boss fights back, make you fight the same people two, three, maybe four times, and make the combat harder just because." Too many times to count was I getting hit by room-wide AOE's that I had to pre-plan for, of which could wipe my party to zero. Too many times were Barrett and Aerith being targeted by moves that they legitimately could not dodge out of because their i-frames don't exist and their rolls take them three feet one way. You'll get hit by everything and it'll hurt. Now I beat Remake three times, zero of those on hard, but I never felt that the game was too difficult. I didn't per se with Rebirth either, but every boss fight took WAY too long. Enemies felt like sponges and the stagger/pressure conditions on most of these boss encounters were infuriating. Add that into a reused offering of the special foes you fight, the frequency of which you do so, and many of these fights having pause points where you can't do damage because the boss needs to get a voice line/cutscene/move in, and you have an exhausting endeavor. That's my major gripe with this title, it's exhausting in all the wrong ways. I don't have an inherent issue with long games, pointing at Red Dead Redemption 2 and Persona's 4 and 5 for example. What these games do is give you ample moments to rest between monotonous moments of grind or boss-fighting. Rebirth throws it at you for effectively the entire ninety some hour runtime. Fights are long, against bosses and world enemies alike, and you never really feel... strong, an issue which may sound doltish to complain about but damnit after spending the entire first game being a badass SOLDIER with a crew of badasses, I want to feel like a badass! There was never a point in which I felt like I was amply handling world or story enemies with ease, despite being appropriately leveled. Sometimes you do just want to gun down a room of Shinra soldiers and get on with it, you don't always need to hit Yeoman First Class-Kun with forty buster sword hits to fell him. Simply, I felt like you as a powerful character who is tasked with destroying one of gaming's most sinister villains never actually feel as strong as you should and it removes some of the buy-in I had to the narrative pacing of Rebirth.
Another element to this game that made the character power of this game feel off was the way character levelling is done. Gone is the "yeah that makes sense" of Remake in favor of an obfuscated sphere grid that puts emphasis on party synergy over physically endorsing the strength/power of each character. I get that the larger cast makes this make more sense as an approach to take, but man does it just... not feel good. Remake's Intermission episode that came out with the Intergrade release forecasted the inevitability of Rebirth putting an emphasis on team-based combat, so I knew this was coming, but I think Rebirth goes about it the wrong way. Instead of letting you choose between stronger individuality and a cohesive team approach to combat, you're effectively forced into the latter. Even then though, it's just giving your party members more capabilities to synergize with each other and execute maneuvers with more and more members of your team. Once more, I understand why they did this but I think it throws the heroic power that the narrative beckons for into the gutter in favour of a misaligned execution of party mechanics.
Add these issues in with other slight complaints like the Kingdom-Heartsification of how FAST enemies move around the arena, and also an entire chapter where you play as Cait Sith for too long (longer than one minute) and you have a title I wish I liked a lot more than I did. It pains me to say, with how much I anticipated Final Fantasy VII Rebirth that the Final Fantasy VII parts were largely the only things I enjoyed about this game. I had this marked on my calendar for months, avoiding any demo content, and trailers, any State of Play material, because I enjoyed Remake so much. Due to the effects of Ubisoft on the industry, there’s too much content, most of which I found to be lacking of any real sort of enjoyment. I thought Rebirth would continue to put an effortless cherry on top of the dessert that was the original Final Fantasy VII. Instead they created a new dish and man, I wouldn't order it again. It seems the public at large enjoy it and critical reception of Rebirth is high, but I don't know if I could recommend it to anyone.
- Sora Kingdom-Hearts (2013)
Two weeks after the day I began the game, I have finally finished Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, my most anticipated game of 2024. What I imagined would be my surefire GOTY runaway pick, with Final Fantasy VII Remake being a game I beat three times, ended up being something I couldn't even smile at in completion. The ramifications of a changing games industry on Square Enix have been plentiful, with a large creative downfall since Final Fantasy XII hit the late-stage PS2 in 2006, the series has had a handful of ups and a plethora of downs. For every Final Fantasy XVI or VII Remake, there were three FFXIII's and a Crisis Core in tow. Quantity beseeched lack of quality, and the legendary fervor the series had invoked for decades previous had largely escaped. With the aforementioned XVI and VII Remake, it seemed like Square had finally righted the ship, creating action-rpg experiences with their familiar franchise that were quality in both narrative and mechanical scope... so what happened with Rebirth? I will divulge below.
I'll start with the good, and to give credit to the Rebirth team there is quite a bit of positives about this title in its entirety. The most immediate and obvious boon to Rebirth and the legendary world of Final Fantasy VII is... the world itself. Shortly after the completion of chapter one the game opens up to a faux open world (in reality, this is open zone) that beckons Cloud and the rest of Avalanche's splinter cell to roam across it. Throughout the fourteen chapters of the game the world and environment are thrown at the player to ooh and ahh at, beautiful beyond words especially in contrast to the 1997 title. Historical moments from twenty seven years ago are brought into HD in a manner that not even I could imagine, with my mouth agape at so many of the backdrops and cities recreated within Rebirth. Familiar places (of which I shall not divulge in respect to spoilers) blew me away. For a game that was developed effectively in four years, it is almost impossible to believe how hard the team led by Naoki Hamaguchi must have worked to not only create, but faithfully bring back to life, a world that was rich back then into the modern gamescape. As I motioned throughout Cloud's journey and came across familiar sites, my brain superimposed the 1997 titles' pre-rendered backgrounds and polygonal Cloud in front of me. There's a significantly delicate line that had to be walked across to be faithful to what was originally imagined and entered into the annals of media history by Yoshinori Kitase while also putting together an engrossing and interactive world for the zeitgeist of pop culture, and yet they found success. Colors pop, the world is filled to the brim with flora, fauna and perfected asset-placement to make it feel lived in. Each biome/locale is visibly different from the rest, granting a linear benchmark for players to cite where the memorable moments of their journey lie and how far they've come... it's impressive and one of the better done worlds that I've experienced in recent memory.
Character writing remains another highlight that carried over from Remake, with some of the original titles' most heart-gripping and serious moments taking place in Rebirth. The nice thing about having a thirty plus hour experience and the events that took place after Cloud joined the squad in Midgar is that the party is very familiar with one another. Barrett takes a more mature role, often playing the voice of reason to Cloud's ever-growing disillusionment. Aerith and Tifa become best buds gushing over the blonde bombshell's buster sword skills, while also careful of his Sephiroth-borne fragility. Red becomes a trusted confidant, friend, and much more than the lab-rat you find him as in the tail-end of Remake. Couple these in with new crew additions like Yuffie, Vincent, Cid, and Cait and you've got a colorful crew (mostly) ready to save the day. They all play off each other well too, keeping the focus on the effectively apocalyptic nature of the world they're in but not allowing the fear and anxiety to overwhelm them, often quipping with one another on their route with jokes and aimed gags. The lightheartedness of the in between moments in Rebirth gave this game legs that are very hard to convey without voice acting and simply as text upon a screen. Aerith, Red, Cloud, and even asinine characters like Cait are legitimately funny throughout this title. My only real gripe about the character writing is that Yuffie, a completely optional character in the Original FFVII talks WAY too much about Materia and how EVERYTHING has to be excused for her involvement because it could result in a cool-hip new materia for Wutai. That got old real quick, but thankfully tapered off in the game's final few chapters. There were a few moments where the tear ducts wanted to rev up, all moments that originated in 1997 but didn't come to emotional fruition until 2024. Moments like these drive home how special this remake series is, not only to FFVII itself but also for the history of gaming at large. The ability the Rebirth team has to bring these special scenes to life is going to do a lot for people who have grown up knowing Cloud and the gang for as long as they've been around.
Per usual I won't speak on the greater narrative at hand, but I do strongly believe it does a great job in not just remaining faithful to the original vision developed by Kitase, but expounding on the landmark moments as well. As I touched on in the previous paragraph, the VA work and modified writing a great job on their own, but the longform dedicated cutscenery is the right hook to the emotional network of Rebirth. You can tell this game was expensive to develop for a lot of reasons, but for the sake of this point its most evident in the advanced effort put into the CGI. I was yet again pausing ad nauseum taking screencaps of characters faces, beautiful backdrops, summons, cool moves, and epic fights. Because everything looks so damn good, it makes the moments that were so narratively impressive in the first title even more so in Rebirth. Character deaths, story arcs (Red's and Barrett's in particular) are tear-jerk extravaganza's because of the visual sheen that everything has.
Other miscellaneous congratulations to this game are in order for having an actual enjoyable card game (the first since Triple Triad in FFVIII) in Queen's Blood, and for also having one of the best introductory chapters in any title that I’ve ever played. To echo the former, I didn't realize how cavernous the minigame content would get within Rebirth, but Queen's Blood kept going, and it felt better and generally more fun with the more cards I got. I found myself restarting matches less and thinking more creatively against advanced opponents, it was cool!
Unfortunately that is where the good within Final Fantasy VII Rebirth generally stops for me, in the Final Fantasy VII of it all. The moments they re-created and breathed new life into were f** awesome, but what the team added and engulfed the title into was largely fluff work that waned my enjoyment of Rebirth greatly.
There's a real power in having a concise game, in a linear narrative or a controlled game that beckons the player to complete it in a structured manner. Now if you've read my reviews thus far this may seem like it combats my affinity for player agency, but it really doesn't. The best games are once that allow players to meld their playstyle to a journey that doesn't waste their time or ask them to embark upon completion of side content that exists without point. My favorite Final Fantasy titles are FFX, FFXVI, and FFVII Remake... some of the more "linear" titles that the series has to offer (XIII was not good, I choose to forget about it.) These three games push the player through loss, intense conflict, entire character arcs, and changed worlds without forcing the player into sidequest hell. This is where Rebirth falters so greatly that I could hardly believe what I was dealing with, even so much to think I was being pranked early into chapter two of fourteen. I rolled my eyes so hard that they almost fell out of their socket when nobody's favorite AI Chadley mentioned the "TOWERS" that Cloud would have to find across each region to map out the other sidequest chains. You go to a tower, of which there were probably six to eight for each of the game's major regions, and these towers would shine light on the location of special fights, lore spots that decreased the power of the area's summon, protorelic locations that involve a major sidequest line with a secret boss, and scavenging hunt locations. All of these suck by the way, none of them were enjoyable.
The Ubisoft-ification of the industry at large plagues open world titles, forgoing the legitimate interest these massive lived out zones can have in favor of map markers that are nothing more than things to complete. You backtrack, climb, hide, slide, and glide all over Final Fantasy VII Rebirth just to tick a checkmark and get on with your marry way. Where XVI and VII Remake succeed is that the only side content that involved, are sidequests of which there aren't really that many. People had a qualm with the volume of XVI's side quests, but Rebirth's feels as if it were tripled, especially with the length that these have. It was fun to become engrossed with the populous of these new locales and fulfill their requests as you do in Remake, however the vast majority of these end with you fighting some big bad monster at the end to right all of their wrongs. This got old REAL quick, as you enter a new area ready to become engrossed in the legendary narrative and beautiful world just to be met with a litany of orange "GO HERE FOR TOWERS" and green "MONOTONOUS SIDEQUEST" notices with a full on checklist to work through as soon as you arrive. My major qualm here is that there's a legitimate power into letting players breath and become involved in the world that has been meticulously laid before them. When I get to [insert location] I want to be wowed by the overwhelming forest and beautiful greens and blues that bring it to life. I want to meet the characters that will guide Cloud along his journey and the troubles that are soon to follow before I'm beckoned to engage with recycled mechanical content that feels more like a chore than a game. I wouldn't've had as much of an issue with this if it was lower in volume or didn't persist for as long as it did... but for ten of the games first twelve chapters (2-11,) I was doing a thousand yard stare as I powered through tower after tower and fought fiend after fiend to quell whatever concern villager after villager had. I became tired, and that's something that let me down more than anything else with Final Fantasy VII Rebirth.
And while I'm complaining about the Ubisoft plague on Square Enix' household, can we talk about those Moogles? like... what is this? Why is this? Who is this? Remember that one story of the Composer for the Resident Evil Dualshock edition who gave us the butt trumpets because he convinced everyone at Capcom that he was deaf, but he actually wasn't and had absolutely no idea how to compose video game music? Do we have a certain situation with the design of the moogle here? Moogles by the way were another genuinely awful minigame mechanic within Rebirth, forcing you to round up five or so moogles into a round pen while they throw a cacophony of mysterious attacks at you. Cloud does this inside of a moogle chief's mushroom house while nightmare fueling music plays. The hero of a resoundingly serious narrative in which the fate of the world as we know it and the entire population within is on the line, is running in circles pushing these Lovecraftian creatures together so he can buy some... books? It sucks and it isn't even the worst of the side content that you as the player are asked to complete because it holds rewards that make you and your party stronger.
The other is the completion of the protorelic questline, rewarding you with the ability to transmute top of the line gear and a summon that is stronger than most of the ones you'll receive. None of these protorelic questlines are fun, and there's one again for each major region that Cloud finds himself in. Four times the player in these areas will be asked to engage with a certain minigame to get closer to retrieving a protorelic. In the first area this is Queen's Blood which is... doable. In the second it's Fort Condor, raise your hand if you had ANY fun playing Fort Condor in the 1997 title or in the Intermission content for Remake. See? I don't even need to know who you are, what you look like, or where you are to know that ZERO people in the world are raising their hand. With Fort Condussy in mind, another region asks Cloud to learn how to play Battle Bots to obtain this gear... for what reason? Couldn't tell you! Is it thematically relevant to the narrative or world at hand? No! Is it fun at all? No! Does it make you, the player, feel like you've used your time accordingly? Absolutely not! But hey, there's useful gear hidden behind this questline so you better do it! The worst offender doesn't materialize until the last chapter of the game in which you are asked to play "Cactuar Crush" with a goblin named Kid G. Do yourself a favor right now, if you don't care about a minor sidequest spoiler, and look at what Kid G from Rebirth looks like. You'll want to wish you never read that sentence. Cactuar Crush is a minigame in which you have to kill a certain amount of nobody's favorite Final Fantasy recurring Cacti in a restricted time span. The kicker is that these cactuar have varying resistances that force the player to switch up their strategy to combo and kill. In theory this sounds like an engaging minigame to take part in, perhaps getting creative with movesets and attack combos. In reality though you're using Yuffie and Aerith to frantically take out these repulsively loud enemies in an awfully short period of time, stressed to hit a score that is definitely too high for the amount of time given and the ease it is to be docked points when you're hit. Add the awfully repulsive volume and frequency in which these cactuar make noise and you'll wish it was never a part of the game. That's my take on sidequest and tertiary content of FFVII Rebirth. You could offer the rebuttal to the above of "just don't do it," but there's unfortunately a sizable amount of useful material, gear, and experience stowed away within.
Not far removed from the amount of fights that these minigames and secondary content throws you into is my qualm with the combat and weapon upgrading at large within Rebirth. Final Fantasy VII Remake largely got it right, with fights that could be repetitive but it was pretty well split between humanoid enemies within Shinra and fiends that were found within the world. Bossfights weren't recycled for the most part, and they weren't perfect, but they were doable and outside of the Rufus fight... pretty easy to get through on your first go. Rebirth flips that one on its head and says "how about we bring a lot of those boss fights back, make you fight the same people two, three, maybe four times, and make the combat harder just because." Too many times to count was I getting hit by room-wide AOE's that I had to pre-plan for, of which could wipe my party to zero. Too many times were Barrett and Aerith being targeted by moves that they legitimately could not dodge out of because their i-frames don't exist and their rolls take them three feet one way. You'll get hit by everything and it'll hurt. Now I beat Remake three times, zero of those on hard, but I never felt that the game was too difficult. I didn't per se with Rebirth either, but every boss fight took WAY too long. Enemies felt like sponges and the stagger/pressure conditions on most of these boss encounters were infuriating. Add that into a reused offering of the special foes you fight, the frequency of which you do so, and many of these fights having pause points where you can't do damage because the boss needs to get a voice line/cutscene/move in, and you have an exhausting endeavor. That's my major gripe with this title, it's exhausting in all the wrong ways. I don't have an inherent issue with long games, pointing at Red Dead Redemption 2 and Persona's 4 and 5 for example. What these games do is give you ample moments to rest between monotonous moments of grind or boss-fighting. Rebirth throws it at you for effectively the entire ninety some hour runtime. Fights are long, against bosses and world enemies alike, and you never really feel... strong, an issue which may sound doltish to complain about but damnit after spending the entire first game being a badass SOLDIER with a crew of badasses, I want to feel like a badass! There was never a point in which I felt like I was amply handling world or story enemies with ease, despite being appropriately leveled. Sometimes you do just want to gun down a room of Shinra soldiers and get on with it, you don't always need to hit Yeoman First Class-Kun with forty buster sword hits to fell him. Simply, I felt like you as a powerful character who is tasked with destroying one of gaming's most sinister villains never actually feel as strong as you should and it removes some of the buy-in I had to the narrative pacing of Rebirth.
Another element to this game that made the character power of this game feel off was the way character levelling is done. Gone is the "yeah that makes sense" of Remake in favor of an obfuscated sphere grid that puts emphasis on party synergy over physically endorsing the strength/power of each character. I get that the larger cast makes this make more sense as an approach to take, but man does it just... not feel good. Remake's Intermission episode that came out with the Intergrade release forecasted the inevitability of Rebirth putting an emphasis on team-based combat, so I knew this was coming, but I think Rebirth goes about it the wrong way. Instead of letting you choose between stronger individuality and a cohesive team approach to combat, you're effectively forced into the latter. Even then though, it's just giving your party members more capabilities to synergize with each other and execute maneuvers with more and more members of your team. Once more, I understand why they did this but I think it throws the heroic power that the narrative beckons for into the gutter in favour of a misaligned execution of party mechanics.
Add these issues in with other slight complaints like the Kingdom-Heartsification of how FAST enemies move around the arena, and also an entire chapter where you play as Cait Sith for too long (longer than one minute) and you have a title I wish I liked a lot more than I did. It pains me to say, with how much I anticipated Final Fantasy VII Rebirth that the Final Fantasy VII parts were largely the only things I enjoyed about this game. I had this marked on my calendar for months, avoiding any demo content, and trailers, any State of Play material, because I enjoyed Remake so much. Due to the effects of Ubisoft on the industry, there’s too much content, most of which I found to be lacking of any real sort of enjoyment. I thought Rebirth would continue to put an effortless cherry on top of the dessert that was the original Final Fantasy VII. Instead they created a new dish and man, I wouldn't order it again. It seems the public at large enjoy it and critical reception of Rebirth is high, but I don't know if I could recommend it to anyone.