not only is melee island one of the video game spaces that i truly want to visit, it really feels like a place i could visit, because it's such a consciously artificial place staffed by jaded workers who are barely interested in maintaining the image of a pirate cove for the latest clueless wide-eyed sap to wander into, and that feels more real and true than any game about a mystical world of pirate lore could possibly be.

the stories this is riffing on - robinson crusoe, treasure island, pirates of the caribbean the ride - are all positively ancient, and are as ramshackle and weary as Melee Island is itself, an island trapped in a cynical world of t-shirt prizes, used car salesmen barely maintaining the facade of their role on the stage, and guys in bars who would much rather be talking about LOOM, the revolutionary new game from LucasArts that boasts a serious and complex fantasy story that uses its experimental interface, to eschew the traditional paradigm of graphical adventures than the tired old pirate role they're trapped in.

time has left a lot of these jokes languishing in the same contextless past that they originally drew on, but the greatest joke of all, the joke of this ridiculous fake invention of what a Pirate was that never had any basis in history, being perpetuated long past the point of relevancy by a staff that truly doesn't really care, has aged like the finest vintage now that disney is the one maintaining melee island.

game kind of falls part imo once you actually reach the titular island but everyone should visit Melee Island at least once in their life. the sets are held together with duct tape and string and the refurbishment job they've done is deeply suspect, but it's still a once-in-a-lifetime destination. just be sure to keep the visitor's guide handy.