Ever since I finished the game, Alan Wake, my brain has been possessed by Alan Wake’s narration. I have to describe every action, every detail, every intention, even if it’s clear or better left unsaid, and I do not like it. The only way to stop this horror it’s to write a review of the game, so I can stop getting peeved about this forsaken game and save my own sanity.

“My god, I do not remember this game feeling as much as a flattened version of Max Payne 2” I thought to myself as I was playing the first level. The gameplay seemed simple and strange, after getting through some more action packed missions thought there must be more than it meets the eye, but like Stephen King said: “If I’m not having fun with the gameplay to begin with I’m not thrilled to explore the depths of it!”.

The game’s lowest points are when it tries to do horror, whenever I have to get past The Taken it’s such a nightmare! The game can be a fun romp even though it never catches with Remedy’s previous work, Max Payne that is.

I don’t know what the coffee thermos are for. All I know is that I have to go the wrong way to get them, it’s not fun nor clever, just a waste of time, but that’s the way video games raised me. I like that the woods makes the levels feel so massive, even though when I’ve had it with the game, Alan Wake, I end up following the radar and hoping for the best, which feels cheap.

I don’t like Alan Wake the person, writer or even the cutout, but maybe I have some kind of appreciation of this game, even if it annoys me. The most interesting things about the game are the parallels between the development of Alan Wake, the character, and Remedy, the makers of Alan wake, the game. I despise Barry though, couldn’t be funny to save his life.

As the clackety clack of my keys as I write this review I can feel Alan’s narration slipping through… maybe I can rest now…