let's be honest. we are not playing this game for the plot. the cutscenes are quirky but the exposition is so barebones that a first time player will genuinely not know what is happening beyond bayonetta's sexual tension with jeanne. but!! this game is so damn good that it doesn't even matter.

bayonetta is an extremely likeable protagonist. i understand why her nature might upset people, but she was designed by a woman dreaming up her power fantasy. her design is good and her personality is loud and unapologetic. this meshes well with the fact that the game is (surprise!) not about sex, and actually about kicking ass.

when you are not doing combat you will want to be doing combat. this game makes you feel like a champ. the combat is fast-paced and has impact and the visuals are striking. this livens up an otherwise dull (color-wise) game. the combat mechanics are absurd but easy to pick up, and you can still whip through the game stylishly without masterful combos or carpal tunnel. the boss fights are insane and large scale but SO FUN. and then you do all of this while listening to the music. let's dance boys serves as the ending song/sequence and imo some of the greatest video game music out there.

ultimately, a great hack-and-slash with points off for the gimmicky attempts at level traversal/platforming, trippy narrative you want to skip past, and the insta-death QTEs. fuck the QTEs.