Reviews of games I've never played

Reviews for games I've only experienced by watching someone else play.

My wife loves this game. I think it's a masterpiece.

It's an open world racing game where you partake in small races in different parts of a big open city. There's checkpoints but no determined path. You have to create your own path to each checkpoint. After doing little races all around town you get one big race where you go from one part of town to the opposite part and your knowledge of the cities structure is put to the test. It's a really beautiful combination of driving skills and expression through pathing.

The rubberbanding is awful though.
My older brother played this one and I never got around to it for some reason.

I think it's alright. I can't fault them for taking some pretty wacky risks with the weird creepy pasta cutscenes, wolf shit, and scifi-esque antagonists. It all seems really hit or miss but you gotta give them props for being creative.

What I can say is that this game has some really great dungeons. The realism and detail in this game makes for very grand and beautiful dungeons. The ice mansion in particular is just so real and lived in. I'd love to see dungeons like this in a game like Breath of the Wild.
My younger brother played the shit out of this game. I think I watched him play through it like 4 or 5 times. I always remember it looking really boring and not something that I would expect him to be into but I can't help but hold it up very high in my head even though I remember basically nothing about it. It must have been doing something right to get him to play it so much.
My younger brother was a master of this game.

I think games like this and Gears of War have aged really well. The more distance they get from the diluted age of grey and brown and the M rated games of the late 2000s the more their unique charms come out. I was always someone who leaned heavily into a more cutesy aesthetic but now when I go back to games like Hitman I really appreciate them more than I did then.

Hitman is a masterpiece of game mechanics. The open sandbox design and the levels of expression you can get up to in these games is amazing and Blood Money is the peak. This game should be talked about more in greatest games of all time discussions, it's that well made.
My Dad played this a lot.

He always wanted to play realistic military games and this game kind of tricks you into thinking it might be that but boy is it not. He unfortunately also cannot quit a game he has not beaten so watching him get frustrated trying to snipe two ninjas throwing shurikans at him was definetely a highlight of my childhood.

He did eventually beat this game which is a testament to the ethereal and immeasurable power of "Dad energy"

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