this is an odd one a real odd one a really really really odd one in any single department and i mean that in a good way i think like re chain of memories was odd in a bad way this one is gonna be odd in a good way

after the 358/2 movie and the re coded movie (i will get back on these games tho i want to experience them like they were intended to for better or for worse… and thats simply because i love axel lets be real) and apparently i was already halfway through this marathon without even realising it but its fine i guess kingdom hearts is more gripping than i thought

NOW getting the real hot hot hot hot stuff in here first

following the complete annihilation of xemnas xehanort is revived for some reasons unbeknownst to me but at this point i just go with the flow if you ask me to tell you the intricate little plots of KH you would be met by my blank face and confused look so i just enjoy the superficial narrative of this wicked masterpiece series and that being said sora and riku are to take the mark of mastery that if you have played birth by sleep WHICH YOU SHOULD HAVE AT THIS POINT thats the real ass exam to take to become a full fledged keyblade master (it was easier when sora was the only keyblade wielder in the entire universe but ok i like to see other people with keyblades because keyblades are cool af albeit a dumb ass concept) to counter the return of daddy xehanort into this world because hes been reconstructing the organization xiii or something evil haha whatever he looks ugly hes ugly i hate that guy i want sexy ansem or xemnas back

to pass the exam sora and riku have to save 7 sleeping worlds from dream eaters which are YET OTHER ENEMY TYPES ok actually not all enemies theyre divided into spirits which are good dream eaters and theyre the most awesome stuff to have ever happened to kingdom hearts theyre soooo ….. did you see the first doggo spirit you get……… best boyo out there BUT theres also nightmares which are bad boys dream eaters and you gotta beat their asses into oblivion (realistically spirits and nightmares have the same models ingame but nightmares are black because woooo darkness scary)

so anyway same old story you just travel with both riku and sora (more on that later) and lock or unlock ? the keyholes i never understood if theyre supposed to lock them or unlock them but whatever its fine its not like i fully understand anything in this series anyway and while they travel into these worlds theyre met with ansem and xemnas (double penetration umh who said that) and also a young xehanort dont ask me why the 3 of them are out and about because i cant give you any type of answer ever only wrong ones

but whatever when you get to the world that never was oh btw this is all SPOILER TERRITORY maybe its too late umh……………… ok its fine this series makes no sense ok so its revealed that xehanorts master plan is actually to get 13 vessels to put his heart into and then creating clones of himself and then have like some bacchanals idk this sounds like a very narcissistic type of behaviour and ½ chance its getting into orgy territory but whatever THEN make these vessels fight against the warriors of light to recreate the χ-blade my god its an obsession this thing please let it go you dont even know what its supposed to be like

so what happens is xehanort wants to make sora his slut i mean vessel but hes then saved by his besties and also axel/lea my man my boo i love him here comes the boi hello boi welcome there he is

BUT hes in a comatose state so its up to his boyfriend to dive into his heart to release him from his woes (ventus funnily enough) and going back home safe and sound to have steamy hot sex with dearly beloved in the background

the end

oh also axel is now a keyblade wielder and the people in this VR chatroom dont even understand how happy it makes me that im gonna get more axel content likeeeee just like that gratuitously showing me fap material thank you square

point blank considerations: this story is kinda stupid

im sorry its true but im too into kingdom hearts now yknow what suspension of disbelief means my fellow reader ? well thats literally what i do playing this series like i will just accept everything they spew in my face will it either be leaking gold or smoking shit

half of the enjoyment that i received playing this game comes from other stuff not the story but its a nice topping so i wont deny that i still enjoyed it somehow + its more of a base for the next events i guess because fundamentally nothing happens in this game its just setting the looming threat of xehanorts 13 playboy bunny girls army

NOW people i was not expecting to enjoy the gameplay as much as i did but apparently if im talking about it it means that its GOOD

new mechanics are here and theyre fun as all hell and you can imagine it from the title like dream is the dream eaters drop is the main mechanic and distance is umh . the distance umh between sora and riku idk umh how do you delete in google docs

DROP MECHANIC so i already said that you play as both riku and sora and that means that you have to go through all 7 worlds with both of them (i know kind of repetitive but its not too vexing like birth by sleep i assure you) but on a single condition basically in the UI theres a meter that decreases slowly and when it drops to 0 the character youre currently playing has a stroke and levitates and enters nirvana so while this happens you will switch to the other character the meter refills itself until it goes again to 0 rinse and repeat and i saw some people here saying it sucks to play as a character for 20 mins for it to drop dead but i enjoy it ?????? like too much for my own good

you cant control this apart from some objects and bonuses that will make it faster or slower but as far as i know it will get to 0 in one way or another i mean you can also manually drop to the other character whenever you want but whats the point also to advance you have to finish worlds with BOTH sora and riku so if you dont want to backtrack just play with both and shut up bitch


they added some other old stuff like the command deck from birth by sleep (kind of different in a way and also you cant fuse abilities . v sad but its here) and new stuff like flowmotions and these are COOOOOOOOOL cooooool they add a lot of acrobatics in the movements and also theyre super useful in the battle department like youll just do some pole dance and kill the nightmares like theyre ants pop off gogo dancer then theres the link system which is basically adding dream eaters (you can synthesise them and give them rubs on their heads its too cute honestly my fav one is the little cat obviously if you had known me youd have seen that coming) to your team and using their abilities i mean its cute and fun and all but i didnt use it that many times because i just forgot it existed since you have to push right on the dpad or else it wouldnt show up in the ui like how am i supposed to remember theres that option whatever and FINALLY the reality shift which is umh like a special move to use on the battle field i cant give you any more explanations than that

oh also dream eaters got some ability grid that i completely neglected until the endgame and i realised it gives more abilities to the character wow BOMB i played the whole game with like fire and strike raid but its fine i guess its fine its not like i died like a stupid ass or anything no im full of joy please dont repeat my mistakes

OH ALSO WHEN YOU DROP YOU CAN USE SOME LOOT (dream something dream cum drips idk i mean youll know) TO ADD ABILITIES TO THE OTHER CHARACTER . COOL !

and whenever you enter a new world youre met with the dive mode which is pretty in theme now that i think of it because they DROP from the sky omg square you prankster but whatever theyre kinda a substitute for gummi ship segments and are pretty mid for me at least maybe theres somebody out there who loves them and its also the same person who orgasms at the thought of the amala labyrinth diving segments in shin megami tensei III

this time around i didnt pay too much attention to the ost apart from the outstanding remixes from the world ends with you oh yeah theres twewy people in this one i didnt tell you ok anyway you know now and the mix for calling ? takes the cake for me yknow actually theres probably good stuff in here maybe i was too absorbed by the gameplay to listen to the ost but i mean yeah you wont get my music score infodump opinion this time but its fine i know youre getting annoyed by me but thats my entire personality

all in all ? great game

good stepping stone for kingdom hearts III wait WAIT IM ALREADY AT KINGDOM HEARTS III WHAAAAAAAAAT IM ALSO DONE DAMN this marathon was too fast what what hello what im so incredibly confused but ok

umh i was saying good enough forerunner of kh3 and im really really excited to play the latest installment for this series so youll hear from me soon

bye besos

yknow they had no reason to completely pop their pussy off to this intro movie but they really its too fucking good i love the little fantasia mickey in the foreground while complex plot unravels in the background

the real thing to talk about here is that I want to fuck beat twewy like its the last thing I do in this life I'm not joking he's so hot and FOR WHAT

i cant believe how many people are inside sora at this moment NO THAT SOUNDS SO WRONG DELETE DELETEWWWEEE

I think i slowly began to like riku it took me like 6 games or something but we did it

i have no idea what this plot is trying to convey to me why is kingdom hearts so confusing at this point

AXEL I LOVE YOUUUUUU PH MY GODOOOOODODODOFJDON

THE STUPID MASK THAT SORA HAS ON OH MY GOD WHATS THIS GAME

umh actually sora hugging riku ?????? i didnt know i needed this until now literally the first display of affection ive seen these 2 share and its kinda warming my heart what is this is this love

KAIRI HAS A KEYBLADE WHAT THE FUCKING HELLLOOOOOOOOOOO um yes queen skinny legend versace boots the house down slay queen hunty mama and oop daddy work charli xcx snatch my wig