In every possible sense, this game pioneered the gameplay and themes of Death Stranding. With their environmental messages, quiet yet persistent protagonist, walking-simulator/goods-delivery gameplay, and tactile interfaces, they truly share the same DNA. There are superficial examples too, of course. Smoglings = BTs. Sergeant Smogglor = Higgs. Toys = people with DOOMS. Chet = Die Hardman. Monkey Burgers/Chocolate/Leaves = Smart Drugs/Optical Media/Action Figures. Think about it, man. Think about how you have to mash through dialogue every time you return to the terminal. Early on you're just running around like an asshole before you find a bike across a river. So you unlock the ability to repair bridges (seriously). Then after riding the bike for a bit it breaks. Then you unlock the ability to create a better bike, and eventually a four wheeled electric vehicle. There are windmills you can place to recharge your batteries at. You even use happiness points to build roads that make traveling across the vast landscape smoother. As you deliver items to the NPCs who already know you by reputation they slowly reveal more to you about their hopes and dreams, and shower you with appreciation. You probably think this is a fucking joke, don't you? That I'm making this all up for attention? Well you're wrong, kiddo. Somebody needs to hold Kojima accountable for this thievery. These are the same guys that made bit Generations and Art Style for fuck's sake, I will not see their works lost to time in favor of AAA kinogames!

Reviewed on Aug 04, 2020


3 Comments


omg I have been saying this to my partner for months, completely agree. I replayed Park Patrol after 12 years just to reconfirm this notion.

3 years ago

Another thing I thought of: WalMart = Monster!!!!
This review reads like an April Fool's Joke even though it's genuinely kinda correct.