(beat all leagues on beginner and standard)

When I was young, I played this at a friend's house prior to our families going on a road trip together. I was absolutely terrible because I never took my finger off the accelerate button ("slowing down is for the weak", I reasoned) and couldn't finish any of the races except for Mute City 1; still, it was enough of a vibe that I ended up playing Mute City again and again. We then went on the road trip and I proceeded to annoy the everloving shit out of everyone by singing the Mute City theme for the entire duration of the trip.

F-Zero has many of the same annoyances that I've savaged other early racing games (see Road Rash and Super Mario Kart) for: wonky collision physics that seem to always work in the AI's favor, rubberbanding, invulnerable opponents, and a Grand Prix mode that doesn't let you continue if you don't place in the Top 3, walling some interesting tracks behind bullshit ones.

However, unlike those games, F-Zero is at its heart an extremely solid pure racer. This is - at least in part - down to the vibes, but also due to the smooth controls and excellent physics (with the noted exception of when cars crash into each other). The devs made the very wise choice of working within the system's technical requirements and making every track on a flat plane, which ensured a very good draw distance, especially compared with its contemporaries.

Also, instead of leaning into the 'versus' style of gameplay like other casual racing games, F-Zero feels more like a time-attack game with a GP mode thrown in as a bonus. There's too much bullshit for me to even think about completing any of the Grands Prix on expert mode, but there's something therapeutic and satisfying about roaring round the tracks on Practice.

brb off to annoy my wife by singing Mute City again

Reviewed on May 16, 2022


4 Comments


1 year ago

And the series got better and better, all the way to the pinnacle of all racing games: F-Zero GX. Also for F-Zero, most of those music tracks are awesome. My wife is enamored with Sand Ocean's track for its time signatures, I'm a normie and always partial to Big Blue, myself.

1 year ago

Port Town lover reporting.

1 year ago

Big Blue is probably my favorite track (along with Mute City) too! For me personally, Port Town and Silence are in the tier right below.

1 year ago

You mean the pinnacle, F-Zero X ;) (Just messin' around)