mrock
Year 0
Dear diary,
Since failing to get GBA linkage working in Dolphin netplay however many years ago, we were unsure of when we'd finally be getting around to this. Especially since the remaster was out of the question, as it lacks local co-op and not all of us have a Nintendo Switch Online / PlayStation Plus subscription. But we've finally found the opportunity (and the Link Cables) to play it on original hardware. With character creation now out of the way, we can introduce ourselves:
Player 1, our de facto leader: a male, long-beaked Yuke from a family of tailors
Player 2 (that's me): a female, red-masked Lilty from a family of alchemists
"Player 3": a female, shark-eyed Selkie from a family of fishers
I'll refrain from including our names to protect our anonymity should this diary become compromised. I'll keep the formalities short for now: adventure awaits!
Year 1
Dear diary,
Our first year has come to a close. We've settled loosely into "builds" based on each of the 3 primary stats: P1 is focusing on magic, I'm focusing on defense, and P3 is focusing on strength. It's reassuring that the chalice mechanic, which I had been led to believe was an abitrary piece of busywork, isn't that bad. It may not be a deep mechanic, but it's a decent solution for circumventing the lack of splitscreen functionality, especially since everyone can take turns on chalice duty. The dungeon crawling so far has been pretty uneventful, except the Mine, which featured lanterns with Bombs trapped inside - a creative integration of classic iconography with the world design. Also, unlike the other dungeons, it had an actual gimmick. Not a terribly interesting one, just standing on buttons to make a minecart break through a wall, but the other two were just flat areas with chests and enemies. Pretty generic action RPG stuff, but we've only just begun.
Year 2
Dear diary,
It suddenly dawned on me how the radar mechanic works. Each player is randomly assigned one of four features: enemy locations, treasure locations, a map of the layout, or enemy info (since there's only 3 of us, we're always guaranteed that one person will have the map). But what's the context here? Is gosh itself shuffling these components between us each time we enter a dungeon? Why can't we trade these features with each other, or at least choose which we want? Anyway, the narrative experience is rather strange so far. Besides the basic premise, the "main story" is shaping up to be nothing more than "trudge through a dull dungeon, kill a boss who's probably just acting in self defense, steal their myrrh, dance at a bonfire after doing that 3 times, rinse and repeat." Is the real meat of the narrative in the overworld events? Most of them just involve some group of people showing up on the road, saying some random stuff, and then it ends before anything really happens. If they're meant to be episodic subplots, then for each "episode" to be so barren must mean these subplots are spread quite thin.
Year 3
Dear diary,
I'm warming up to the radar mechanic. Not for some hidden merit I've discovered in it, but rather because the light amount of cooperation it enables spices up the dungeon crawling so much more than anything in the dungeons themselves. There was only one dungeon in this batch (the Manor) which provided some fun of its own, if only for its brevity and the cute story context. Speaking of story, I'm also warming up to the overworld events. They're so cheesy and bizarre that they're quickly becoming the only thing I look forward to anymore. It's ironic considering how slow and boring of an overworld this otherwise is, ESPECIALLY the miasma streams. Even for ones you've crossed before, you still have to sit there and watch as your character (yes, singular character, since funnily enough you can just have one person cross while the others sit at the beginning and slowly die of miasma poisoning) slowly inches along the path while you wonder how someone could possibly be enthralled by this more than MAYBE twice. And every miasma stream is nearly identical of course. I'm afraid the mindless monotony of the gameplay loop will just keep wearing on until the end. But hey, we're halfway there, right?
Year 4
Dear diary,
Some of the worst dungeons yet: same old tedium, but Rebena Te Ra had some obnoxious puzzles, and the difficulty is spiking hard. The combat has really been wearing out its welcome, particularly spellcasting. Spells are becoming much more crucial, and it's very common to be struck with a halting status (freeze, stone, etc) before you can finish casting one. This is doubly dreadful for spells which require two people. One of these, Holy, is practically required to kill some recently introduced enemies (and bosses!). It doesn't help that the equipment feels so restrictive. Theoretically, we could spend additional miserable hours grinding materials for a plethora of armor and accessories which give +1 poison resist or something (whatever that means). But is it worth it? If a relevant opportunity arises to use said equipment, I'd have to push Select, bend my face over the GBA, fumble fatfingeredly through the menu to equip the correct thing, then look back up at the mangled corpse I left behind in the meantime. We're approaching the light at the end of the tunnel anyhow, so I'll just hope we won't have to resort to grinding.
Year 5
F***ing diary,
Hades must have been looking over my shoulder and decided Sysyphus wasn't the only one who needed a cruel and unusual punishment. We should've known by how freakishly powerful the enemies in this final dungeon were, but we pressed on. And we tried, we really did, but it's just not feasible for 3 undergeared caravanners - with what I'm realising are abysmal defense stats - to stand up to this ungodly monstrosity of a boss at the bottom of this hellhole. We were desperate to miraculously pull through to prevent throwing away the progress we made through this place, but it wasn't meant to be. We'll have to grind. Hard. Apparently each dungeon has cycles, and only by making it to the 3rd cycle (yeah because these dungeons were so much fun the first time) will we be able to upgrade our gear from Mithril to Diamond. Diamond is the NEXT STEP UP from Mithril, but I digress. Let's just get this over with.
Year 9
Good riddance,
Gear has been grinded, our GBAs have lost power at least 87 times, and unfavorable comparisons to Nicktoons Unite! have been made. I don't know what else I could say. We're entering the final dungeon for what I hope is the final time. Let's mosey.
Year ?
Dear diary,
I must admit, this sequence following the final dungeon's boss may have sparked the most engaging cooperation I've experienced in any game. We needed to put our heads together and place desperate faith in one another in a way I never could have expected. I wouldn't dare spoil the details of this, but not out of respect for any potential readers of this diary who may want to experience it firsthand. Rather, if we had to endure 9 years of torment to get to this moment, then I refuse to offer anyone a shortcut. Suffer like we did.
Year ????????
Diary,
This may well be my final entry. We've gotten a few "Game Over"s fighting this final boss, but we've learned how it works and sussed out some basic strategies to sufficiently stay afloat. This current attempt will probably be "the one," but we've been on it for a while now. Has it been 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 years? Is the boss' health nearly depleted, or is it actually infinite? If this takes much longer, I'm not gonna make it. I'll... lose the motivation to bother writing a review of this game. Should that be the case, then I hope someone manages to find this diary, because it'll be the only record left of what has transpired. So I'll offer these final thoughts to whoever may be able to read them: if you want to follow in our footsteps (or GOSH forbid drag some friends into our footsteps as well), just know that there's always a better way. If you really want the novelty of a multiplayer game which necessitates each player to connect a GBA to a GameCube, I'm sure Four Swords or Pac-Man Vs would suffice. If you want a multiplayer RPG on the GameCube, there's Tales of Symphonia. It may have shallow combat, a convoluted story, and a bizarre tonal clash between the graphics and the subject matter, but Symphonia clearly had at least 100 times more passion and effort on display than this. Or maybe you grew up with this, which unfortunately means you're already cursed beyond any hope of salvation. But if you're like us, and you're on a mission to play every Japanese role playing game with cooperative multiplayer, well... your fate is sealed of course, but just try to save this one for later. In the meantime, go play some Monster Hunter or something.
Dear diary,
Since failing to get GBA linkage working in Dolphin netplay however many years ago, we were unsure of when we'd finally be getting around to this. Especially since the remaster was out of the question, as it lacks local co-op and not all of us have a Nintendo Switch Online / PlayStation Plus subscription. But we've finally found the opportunity (and the Link Cables) to play it on original hardware. With character creation now out of the way, we can introduce ourselves:
Player 1, our de facto leader: a male, long-beaked Yuke from a family of tailors
Player 2 (that's me): a female, red-masked Lilty from a family of alchemists
"Player 3": a female, shark-eyed Selkie from a family of fishers
I'll refrain from including our names to protect our anonymity should this diary become compromised. I'll keep the formalities short for now: adventure awaits!
Year 1
Dear diary,
Our first year has come to a close. We've settled loosely into "builds" based on each of the 3 primary stats: P1 is focusing on magic, I'm focusing on defense, and P3 is focusing on strength. It's reassuring that the chalice mechanic, which I had been led to believe was an abitrary piece of busywork, isn't that bad. It may not be a deep mechanic, but it's a decent solution for circumventing the lack of splitscreen functionality, especially since everyone can take turns on chalice duty. The dungeon crawling so far has been pretty uneventful, except the Mine, which featured lanterns with Bombs trapped inside - a creative integration of classic iconography with the world design. Also, unlike the other dungeons, it had an actual gimmick. Not a terribly interesting one, just standing on buttons to make a minecart break through a wall, but the other two were just flat areas with chests and enemies. Pretty generic action RPG stuff, but we've only just begun.
Year 2
Dear diary,
It suddenly dawned on me how the radar mechanic works. Each player is randomly assigned one of four features: enemy locations, treasure locations, a map of the layout, or enemy info (since there's only 3 of us, we're always guaranteed that one person will have the map). But what's the context here? Is gosh itself shuffling these components between us each time we enter a dungeon? Why can't we trade these features with each other, or at least choose which we want? Anyway, the narrative experience is rather strange so far. Besides the basic premise, the "main story" is shaping up to be nothing more than "trudge through a dull dungeon, kill a boss who's probably just acting in self defense, steal their myrrh, dance at a bonfire after doing that 3 times, rinse and repeat." Is the real meat of the narrative in the overworld events? Most of them just involve some group of people showing up on the road, saying some random stuff, and then it ends before anything really happens. If they're meant to be episodic subplots, then for each "episode" to be so barren must mean these subplots are spread quite thin.
Year 3
Dear diary,
I'm warming up to the radar mechanic. Not for some hidden merit I've discovered in it, but rather because the light amount of cooperation it enables spices up the dungeon crawling so much more than anything in the dungeons themselves. There was only one dungeon in this batch (the Manor) which provided some fun of its own, if only for its brevity and the cute story context. Speaking of story, I'm also warming up to the overworld events. They're so cheesy and bizarre that they're quickly becoming the only thing I look forward to anymore. It's ironic considering how slow and boring of an overworld this otherwise is, ESPECIALLY the miasma streams. Even for ones you've crossed before, you still have to sit there and watch as your character (yes, singular character, since funnily enough you can just have one person cross while the others sit at the beginning and slowly die of miasma poisoning) slowly inches along the path while you wonder how someone could possibly be enthralled by this more than MAYBE twice. And every miasma stream is nearly identical of course. I'm afraid the mindless monotony of the gameplay loop will just keep wearing on until the end. But hey, we're halfway there, right?
Year 4
Dear diary,
Some of the worst dungeons yet: same old tedium, but Rebena Te Ra had some obnoxious puzzles, and the difficulty is spiking hard. The combat has really been wearing out its welcome, particularly spellcasting. Spells are becoming much more crucial, and it's very common to be struck with a halting status (freeze, stone, etc) before you can finish casting one. This is doubly dreadful for spells which require two people. One of these, Holy, is practically required to kill some recently introduced enemies (and bosses!). It doesn't help that the equipment feels so restrictive. Theoretically, we could spend additional miserable hours grinding materials for a plethora of armor and accessories which give +1 poison resist or something (whatever that means). But is it worth it? If a relevant opportunity arises to use said equipment, I'd have to push Select, bend my face over the GBA, fumble fatfingeredly through the menu to equip the correct thing, then look back up at the mangled corpse I left behind in the meantime. We're approaching the light at the end of the tunnel anyhow, so I'll just hope we won't have to resort to grinding.
Year 5
F***ing diary,
Hades must have been looking over my shoulder and decided Sysyphus wasn't the only one who needed a cruel and unusual punishment. We should've known by how freakishly powerful the enemies in this final dungeon were, but we pressed on. And we tried, we really did, but it's just not feasible for 3 undergeared caravanners - with what I'm realising are abysmal defense stats - to stand up to this ungodly monstrosity of a boss at the bottom of this hellhole. We were desperate to miraculously pull through to prevent throwing away the progress we made through this place, but it wasn't meant to be. We'll have to grind. Hard. Apparently each dungeon has cycles, and only by making it to the 3rd cycle (yeah because these dungeons were so much fun the first time) will we be able to upgrade our gear from Mithril to Diamond. Diamond is the NEXT STEP UP from Mithril, but I digress. Let's just get this over with.
Year 9
Good riddance,
Gear has been grinded, our GBAs have lost power at least 87 times, and unfavorable comparisons to Nicktoons Unite! have been made. I don't know what else I could say. We're entering the final dungeon for what I hope is the final time. Let's mosey.
Year ?
Dear diary,
I must admit, this sequence following the final dungeon's boss may have sparked the most engaging cooperation I've experienced in any game. We needed to put our heads together and place desperate faith in one another in a way I never could have expected. I wouldn't dare spoil the details of this, but not out of respect for any potential readers of this diary who may want to experience it firsthand. Rather, if we had to endure 9 years of torment to get to this moment, then I refuse to offer anyone a shortcut. Suffer like we did.
Year ????????
Diary,
This may well be my final entry. We've gotten a few "Game Over"s fighting this final boss, but we've learned how it works and sussed out some basic strategies to sufficiently stay afloat. This current attempt will probably be "the one," but we've been on it for a while now. Has it been 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 years? Is the boss' health nearly depleted, or is it actually infinite? If this takes much longer, I'm not gonna make it. I'll... lose the motivation to bother writing a review of this game. Should that be the case, then I hope someone manages to find this diary, because it'll be the only record left of what has transpired. So I'll offer these final thoughts to whoever may be able to read them: if you want to follow in our footsteps (or GOSH forbid drag some friends into our footsteps as well), just know that there's always a better way. If you really want the novelty of a multiplayer game which necessitates each player to connect a GBA to a GameCube, I'm sure Four Swords or Pac-Man Vs would suffice. If you want a multiplayer RPG on the GameCube, there's Tales of Symphonia. It may have shallow combat, a convoluted story, and a bizarre tonal clash between the graphics and the subject matter, but Symphonia clearly had at least 100 times more passion and effort on display than this. Or maybe you grew up with this, which unfortunately means you're already cursed beyond any hope of salvation. But if you're like us, and you're on a mission to play every Japanese role playing game with cooperative multiplayer, well... your fate is sealed of course, but just try to save this one for later. In the meantime, go play some Monster Hunter or something.
1983
Baseball, released for the Famicom and NES, is perfect. Of course I don’t mean that it’s a perfectly realistic simulation of a real life ballgame, or that it’s impossible for any video game to be better than this one. Rather, it’s an accurate simulation of how some sort of omniscient being (that’s you, should you play this) might control a theoretically perfect game of baseball using a Famicom or NES controller.
Within the limited framework of a 4-way D-pad and 2 face buttons, you couldn’t have a greater level of control of the players’ actions without diminishing the genius intuition of the control scheme. When fielding or commanding the runners, the D-pad’s 4 Ds correspond to each of the four bases (with the exception of down corresponding to everyone when choosing runners, which elegantly takes advantage of the absence of a runner on home plate). If I didn’t know any better, I’d argue that the D-pad was designed with this very sport in mind. If I DID know any better, I’d argue that the sport ITSELF was designed with the foresight that an (at the time, theoretical) omniscient puppet master might only have a 4-directional input device at their disposal with which to puppeteer their possessed players. Even the use of the 2 buttons while at bat is similarly suited to the gameplay. The A button, labelled with the alphabet’s introductory character, corresponds to the primary actions of both teams during the batting: swinging the bat, and throwing a pitch. Meanwhile, the B button is used for the secondary actions: advancing a runner, and making the pitcher throw to one of the bases to get that runner out.
To elaborate on what I meant earlier by a “theoretically perfect game of baseball,” the gameplay relies upon the assumption that, whenever you’re not controlling them, every player is performing as perfectly as the laws of physics will allow. There are no errors (a baseball term which refers to a misplay), which relieves you of the hassle of manually controlling actions like catching and fielding. There is no such thing as HPB (hit by pitch, another baseball term), which provides the amusing assumption that the batter is actually Matrix-dodging the ball when it looks like they should be getting hit. There are also no freak accidents such as adverse weather or injuries. Essentially, the game of baseball you play here is always one in which the only mistakes made by its players come from a pitch being thrown too far left or right, or from the batter missing a swing.
Even the aesthetic elements could be described as perfect. Every character and object does its job of unmistakably resembling that which it represents and animating in a way which properly conveys its movement. The only possible exception is the titular ball itself, which I’d say technically still qualifies. It may not contain its signature red threads, but it’s quite rare that you’ll be able to make those out with the naked eye while it’s being used in a real life ballgame anyway.
I’d like to end the review here, but unfortunately it’s time to admit that this game does have a few of what you could consider “flaws.” There’s no rule in place for a Delay of Game, meaning that the pitcher can just stand there eyeing the batter for all eternity. More amusingly, this also means that the basemen and catcher will throw the ball to each other for as long as you’re able to hit the A button while alternating directions on the D-pad. There’s also the way that the crowd flashes rainbow colors every time someone hits a home run. Objectively, this clearly breaks the immersion of being an authentic baseball game, even if subjectively I’d call it an improvement since I would prefer if people in real life flashed bright colors when they witnessed something really cool.
So it may not be perfect, but I’ll salvage my thesis statement with this conclusion: the rating you give to Baseball is more of an assessment of baseball (the sport) than it is for Baseball (the video game). This game is such a blunt adaptation of a sport into a video game that the amount of entertainment you receive is at least the bare minimum enjoyment you possibly could get out of using a Famicom or NES controller to perform divine intervention on a baseball game with theoretically perfect players. As for me, I think baseball’s pretty cool, and that makes Baseball pretty cool too (though I am still riding off the hype of pulling off a grand slam against the Yomiuri Giants while controlling the Hanshin Tigers).
Within the limited framework of a 4-way D-pad and 2 face buttons, you couldn’t have a greater level of control of the players’ actions without diminishing the genius intuition of the control scheme. When fielding or commanding the runners, the D-pad’s 4 Ds correspond to each of the four bases (with the exception of down corresponding to everyone when choosing runners, which elegantly takes advantage of the absence of a runner on home plate). If I didn’t know any better, I’d argue that the D-pad was designed with this very sport in mind. If I DID know any better, I’d argue that the sport ITSELF was designed with the foresight that an (at the time, theoretical) omniscient puppet master might only have a 4-directional input device at their disposal with which to puppeteer their possessed players. Even the use of the 2 buttons while at bat is similarly suited to the gameplay. The A button, labelled with the alphabet’s introductory character, corresponds to the primary actions of both teams during the batting: swinging the bat, and throwing a pitch. Meanwhile, the B button is used for the secondary actions: advancing a runner, and making the pitcher throw to one of the bases to get that runner out.
To elaborate on what I meant earlier by a “theoretically perfect game of baseball,” the gameplay relies upon the assumption that, whenever you’re not controlling them, every player is performing as perfectly as the laws of physics will allow. There are no errors (a baseball term which refers to a misplay), which relieves you of the hassle of manually controlling actions like catching and fielding. There is no such thing as HPB (hit by pitch, another baseball term), which provides the amusing assumption that the batter is actually Matrix-dodging the ball when it looks like they should be getting hit. There are also no freak accidents such as adverse weather or injuries. Essentially, the game of baseball you play here is always one in which the only mistakes made by its players come from a pitch being thrown too far left or right, or from the batter missing a swing.
Even the aesthetic elements could be described as perfect. Every character and object does its job of unmistakably resembling that which it represents and animating in a way which properly conveys its movement. The only possible exception is the titular ball itself, which I’d say technically still qualifies. It may not contain its signature red threads, but it’s quite rare that you’ll be able to make those out with the naked eye while it’s being used in a real life ballgame anyway.
I’d like to end the review here, but unfortunately it’s time to admit that this game does have a few of what you could consider “flaws.” There’s no rule in place for a Delay of Game, meaning that the pitcher can just stand there eyeing the batter for all eternity. More amusingly, this also means that the basemen and catcher will throw the ball to each other for as long as you’re able to hit the A button while alternating directions on the D-pad. There’s also the way that the crowd flashes rainbow colors every time someone hits a home run. Objectively, this clearly breaks the immersion of being an authentic baseball game, even if subjectively I’d call it an improvement since I would prefer if people in real life flashed bright colors when they witnessed something really cool.
So it may not be perfect, but I’ll salvage my thesis statement with this conclusion: the rating you give to Baseball is more of an assessment of baseball (the sport) than it is for Baseball (the video game). This game is such a blunt adaptation of a sport into a video game that the amount of entertainment you receive is at least the bare minimum enjoyment you possibly could get out of using a Famicom or NES controller to perform divine intervention on a baseball game with theoretically perfect players. As for me, I think baseball’s pretty cool, and that makes Baseball pretty cool too (though I am still riding off the hype of pulling off a grand slam against the Yomiuri Giants while controlling the Hanshin Tigers).
2001
I’ve already reviewed the N64 version, so here I’ll just review the changes made to the Dreamcast version.
Most importantly, the special attack has some slight alterations, not for the better or worse, but which drastically change the way it can be used. The special meter no longer fills by collecting fruit, which are now only here for points, but rather by hitting enemies. Now instead of having to focus on scouring the levels for fruit, you’re actually encouraged to make a beeline to the boss while occasionally blasting a few specials here and there along the way. What makes the special even easier to use is that it no longer needs to be charged, as its power is dependent solely on how close enemy projectiles are. Unfortunately though, the shop is absent here, possibly because specials can be pulled off so much more easily and frequently now.
The CD format comes with improved graphics and music, but at the unfortunate cost of reducing Bangai-O’s signature slowdown. Call me crazy all you want, but the slowdown is one of the most endearing parts of the experience. There’s nothing like seeing just how incapable the hardware is at handling this game.
There’s also the controls, which are technically the same, with the caveat that you’d have to hold half the Dreamcast controller with both hands to be able to use the D-Pad to move and the stick to shoot. But like I said with the N64 version, you’re probably gonna need to emulate this to play it at all nowadays, so you can fix that issue pretty easily.
Most importantly, the special attack has some slight alterations, not for the better or worse, but which drastically change the way it can be used. The special meter no longer fills by collecting fruit, which are now only here for points, but rather by hitting enemies. Now instead of having to focus on scouring the levels for fruit, you’re actually encouraged to make a beeline to the boss while occasionally blasting a few specials here and there along the way. What makes the special even easier to use is that it no longer needs to be charged, as its power is dependent solely on how close enemy projectiles are. Unfortunately though, the shop is absent here, possibly because specials can be pulled off so much more easily and frequently now.
The CD format comes with improved graphics and music, but at the unfortunate cost of reducing Bangai-O’s signature slowdown. Call me crazy all you want, but the slowdown is one of the most endearing parts of the experience. There’s nothing like seeing just how incapable the hardware is at handling this game.
There’s also the controls, which are technically the same, with the caveat that you’d have to hold half the Dreamcast controller with both hands to be able to use the D-Pad to move and the stick to shoot. But like I said with the N64 version, you’re probably gonna need to emulate this to play it at all nowadays, so you can fix that issue pretty easily.
2001
A stress-inducing game about stressing people out. The fast pace with which you’re expected to perform your landlord-ly duties makes for an intense tug of war between optimising room layouts and dealing with a nonstop influx of Syndicate 5 members moving in. This gameplay loop is obviously a natural fit for Endless Mode, which challenges the player to see how long they can “manage,” but Story Mode is unusual by comparison. The entire campaign is so short and easy that it could be reasonably described as a tutorial, and if anything the game might feel more complete without it. Nevertheless, the Endless Mode’s arcade-style replayability is definitely enough to keep me coming back for more managerial mayhem.
Pure, frenetic fun from beginning to end. The twin-stick shooting lends itself to chaotic gameplay, and the omnidirectional special move encourages precise timing to turn certain defeat into a room-clearing counterattack. But what really makes this game shine is the level design, which provides a variety of tough scenarios, requiring you to constantly rethink your approach and develop a mastery of the mechanics. Some of the game’s best moments happen when entering a new stage only to quickly discover the sheer absurdity of how many enemies Treasure expected you to deal with.
This version of the game also has one of the more interesting combo mechanics I’ve seen. Getting a 100+ combo from a special attack opens a shop which allows you to redeem your combo for stat increases, extra health, or extra points. And let me assure you, nothing feels more badass than working up a massive combo, telling the game “What, you think I need stats? Gimme the points,” then seeing the comically oversized message displaying how many tens of thousands of points you’ve earned.
And at the end of it all, the final boss pulls off a move so admittedly simple, yet so awesomely unexpected and punishing that it must be played to be believed. Honestly, the only aspect of this game I can’t gush about is that it’s a twin-stick shooter on a console with one stick. Not a problem emulation can’t solve though, which you’ll probably need to play this game at all.
This version of the game also has one of the more interesting combo mechanics I’ve seen. Getting a 100+ combo from a special attack opens a shop which allows you to redeem your combo for stat increases, extra health, or extra points. And let me assure you, nothing feels more badass than working up a massive combo, telling the game “What, you think I need stats? Gimme the points,” then seeing the comically oversized message displaying how many tens of thousands of points you’ve earned.
And at the end of it all, the final boss pulls off a move so admittedly simple, yet so awesomely unexpected and punishing that it must be played to be believed. Honestly, the only aspect of this game I can’t gush about is that it’s a twin-stick shooter on a console with one stick. Not a problem emulation can’t solve though, which you’ll probably need to play this game at all.