Quite possibly (and quite likely to be) one of the funniest video games ever released. David Cage is like the Ed Wood of the video game industry, but only if Ed Wood had zero charm, a legacy that’s seen as a joke rather than an inspiration, and a fandom of incredibly strange sycophants who have tricked themselves into thinking any of his stories would be able to hack it on daytime television.

Heavy Rain is an experience, and one that you legitimately owe it to yourself to play. This isn’t because it’s good, but rather because it’s atrocious. Games critics were over the moon for this back in 2010. People were desperate to totally own Roger Ebert for saying video games couldn’t be art, so they latched onto shit like this. It’s a poorly-acted, poorly-scripted, poorly-thought out mess. It's like a living guide on how not to make a game. It’s incredible. Get some friends together and make a stream night or two out of it.

Ethan Mars can have both of his children murdered and then be propositioned for sex by his new love interest while kneeling atop their graves. He then walks to his car and kills himself. This is supposed to be sad and not actually the most hilarious thing you’ve ever seen in your entire life.

Reviewed on Mar 30, 2023


5 Comments


1 year ago

87 on metacritic!! hahaha. This game's reception was a real turning point for me wrt taking the gaming press seriously. Apocalyptically embarrassing situation.

Also, one potentially important difference between Cage and Ed Wood is that Wood didn't inexplicably have one of the most powerful companies in his industry giving him seemingly infinite money every time he asked for it lol

1 year ago

david cage is the poster boy for propped up gaming failsons and i hope he never goes away so that his stench can never truly be washed from the industry at large. as long as cage is still an active part of the corporate medium i refuse to let anyone whitewash the gaming landscape as anything other than the bubbling cesspool that it is

1 year ago

tell it dude

1 year ago

You said what I couldn't say about David Cage with such grace and elegance. Perfect review.

4 months ago

Yes! This game is an absolute treasure trove of unintentional comedy. After I played it and got one of the "good" endings, I searched for the other ones on YouTube and almost died laughing at the exact scene you're describing. The fact that this game was so acclaimed when it came out gets more hilarious the longer we are from its release.