never before has a game worked so hard to undo my genuine willingness to have fun with it.

i pick up a hat. it rotates out one of the three hats i already had. it is never the one i would choose to get rid of.

what is with these skinny armed, big foot and fisted freaks? sonic? nights? balan flies around in a blue skybox void like some weird sega fan's animation homework project except you have to press the button sometimes. when, you ask? sometimes it is obvious but other times, who knows!

the commitment to one-button-for-everything renders navigating the menus a frustrating proposition. i move between platforms. japanese and western playstation games. i know sometimes x and circle ain't always the same. but this game just doesn't have a "back" button for menus! they made a game to be perfectly intelligible for babies and grandmas and let me tell you - babies are great at video games. give a toddler a switch and in one week they'll be better at mario kart than you. and grandmas don't want to go near these ungodly lanky freak beasts.