A strong argument against this lingering notion that many gamers seem to have that a fan-made “fixed” remake, remaster or otherwise invasive revision of a game that actively changes core aspects of its identity should ever be taken in as a first impression of, or worse replacement for, an original work of art. And to be perfectly clear, I don’t believe that on any step of the development and production of Black Mesa that Crowbar Collective sought for this to be the intent nor the response to their work. Above all else, Crowbar are very obviously fans of Half-Life, and that passion shines through even from an outside observation of the time, effort, and communication the team put into creating this reimagining. I am also a big fan of Half-Life. That is, a big fan of Half-Life, the 1998 game. The other titles in the franchise haven’t ever quite worked for me the way the first one did, but I can of course acknowledge their very real and important place in both the history of Valve Software and of course the greater gaming industry and its progress at large. With that in mind, the permeating thought I simply couldn’t get out of my head with every later-entry-adjacent puzzle, every bombastic music cue, every chopped-in tie to the later Half-Life series, was that the developers and I were fans of the original game for flat out contradictory reasons.

I would say that I overall had a fairly good time with Black Mesa, but if I were to go down the list of pros and cons of the experience and then proceed to skin that list of the stuff provided by the original Half-Life, I think the list of positives is rather short. I’d like to address those first, because I want to come off at least somewhat positive about an experience I overall… liked. Some of the supplementary radio dialogue did well to add context without feeling invasive to the tone of Half-Life, especially late into the HECU breach as the Xen aliens begin to take over the rest of Black Mesa. I was happy to see the entire Half-Life tool-kit accounted for - Black Mesa was not so revisionist as to excise a weapon or two for the sake of streamlining the experience. Most play rather well but I do feel a greater imbalance was created leading players to favor the shotgun and SMG, which while fun to use shouldn’t and didn’t feel as overwhelmingly obvious selections in most scenarios in the 1998 title. I think the initial Tentacle encounter is probably a little better than the original game as far as detection of sound makers. For all the many, many issues I would have with this game’s take on Xen, I will admit that the abandoned base early on was really cool and felt in line with something the original game could’ve done tonally. And… that’s about where my Black Mesa-specific positives end, unfortunately.

I wish I didn't even need to acknowledge technical problems, but the loading times were worse than the original, my saves got corrupted like four or five times through a single playthrough, and sometimes flags just didn't work several times in a row. Much as I'd love to say these were my biggest issues with this project, sadly they're more of a negligible piece sitting in front of my actual, core problems with Black Mesa.

The overwhelmingly tone-deaf approach to reimagining Half-Life that plagues Black Mesa makes almost every change hard to swallow. I feel as if Half-Life was treated as a game to be ashamed of its own unique tonal identity in the execution of Black Mesa, given how many changes were contingent to keeping pace with the rest of the lesser entries of the series which would follow. And even then, I certainly can’t say that Half-Life 2, Opposing Force, or any of the other entries got nearly as bombastic and maximalist as this. Epic gamer metal tunes blast through previously alienating and uncomfortable hallways and gauntlets. Previously quiet and pensive strolls are stopped in their tracks for far less meaningful interactions than those they emulate from Half-Life 2. Tense, brief, but memorable boss encounters are stretched to the point of nearly a fucking hour at their very worst - frankly, the Gonarch encounter is embarrassingly bad. The entire heart and soul of some of Half-Life’s most curious locations is sucked out and spat out - is this supposed to be Xen, or application art to work on the next Avatar film? It’s frustrating how passionate this piece of art is, because there’s clearly a lack of mutual ground I share with why the game it’s trying to reimagine is so special.

Over twenty-five years after the original release of Half-Life, it remains my favorite first-person shooter ever made. It’s just as fresh, just as alien, just as unique as it was in 1998. Thanks to a massive rewrite of the sequel from its original 2001 concept and the subsequent influence it would have on both the remainder of Half-Life as a series and the greater market of first-person shooters, Half-Life remains one of a kind. There really is nothing quite like it. Black Mesa takes that ball, runs with it, and proceeds to make it feel more and more similar to everything else out there. The game is reimagined, but the heart is lost in the process. And no amount of polish can piece that together once it’s scrubbed out. That’s just my take on it, though. I really do send all the hardworking and passionate individuals at Crowbar my earnest congratulations. I respect the dedication, the execution, the grind. It clearly impressed Valve well enough, too. Keep making games, no matter what. Don’t let my equally passionate love for Half-Life put your flame out.

Now this is a Yakuza game!

This feels to me like a more perfected version of Yakuza 4. Almost everything I didn't like about this game has been severely scaled back or removed entirely, leaving a peak Yakuza experience just before 0, the legacy game that you probably shouldn't start with yet everyone does anyway. Once again, multiple protagonists, and I'm gonna rank em.

Part 1: Kiryu is great

The story starts with Kiryu in Fukuoka, taking up a job as a taxi driver while Haruka is off following her dream. As is expected at this point, some bullshit relating to the Tojo's struggles appears at Kiryu's doorstep and he needs to rejoin the Yakuza to get to the bottom of it. Daigo goes missing in the middle of a power struggle in the Omi Alliance, and the plot is Kiryu piecing things together. It's great, especially seeing Kiryu learn to handle a new life away from the orphanage. As well as that, the taxi minigame is great too! It's basically that joke of 'play GTA but act like a regular citizen' and it's great stuff (minus those suicidal pedestrians like what is up with them) as well as the drag races that occur later on, with all the characters of Kiryu's taxi service being likable characters. Like with 4, 10/10 opening, I loved it. But now we go back to Saejima, yayyyyy...

Part 1: Wait, Saejima's good now?

Saejima's story is about him breaking out of prison (again) It's more interesting than 4, and like Kiryu, it's cool learning about the other inmates. There is some weird pacing with the imagination segments, but it's fine, I guess it's the only way they could fit in combat. Speaking of which, Saejima has fun combat now! He has armour on a lot of his attacks, as well as a larger health pool, actually conveying through gameplay that this is a big man not to be fucked with. But after you escape, you end up in a mountain village, in a sequence of walking through snow and shitty hunting tutorials, and if you were in a Discord server with me, you know I didn't enjoy, especially when hunting and trapping were two separate tutorials that really could have been one. But after that, you get to Sapporo! And my god, a city with side content? Saejima sidequests? Not getting chased down by the cops? It's all I ever wanted! But anyway, while the main plot does become an annoying fetch quest for a bit, it's still super fun to play as Saejima. His section gets a 7/10, the first half is still kinda lame.

Part 3: Wait, this is critical path content?

The next stage is Haruka, now trying to become an Idol. So naturally, this is a rhythm game now. At first, I was into it. The streets are littered with dance battles you can do, and the minigame was kinda fun. But it gets repetitive real fast. A lot of the game is training for the princess league, with you doing the routine of the same songs over and over, alongside some boring side stuff like greeting fans and interviews, so I did end up skipping basically all the side content here. But the story is good. Haruka's staff are all good characters, and it does add enough backstory and intrigue to the main plot that I was invested. One thing I will say is how docile Haruka is now. She was never super aggressive, but she did have a backbone and some of Kiryu's stronger tendencies clearly rubbed off on her in previous games, like when she slapped Mine in Yakuza 3 and did everything she could to protect the orphans. But now? She just kind of accepts shit from rivals like t-set. I get she has to act professional, but even an internal monologue of 'Yo, FUCK these bitches!' would have gone a long way. But overall, I'd give the whole act a 6/10. But regardless, she shares her act with another character, which leads me to...

Part 4: I FUCKING LOVE SHUN AKIYAMA!!!!!!!!

Shun Akiyama opens a branch of his money lending business in Osaka, where Haruka's plot is going down. So he lends his aid to the squad, piecing together the plot as he goes. And he's still a legend, basically everything I loved about him in 4 remains, now with aerial combat because RGG studios knew they weren't beating the Sanji allegations so just rolled with it. But he adds a great deal to Haruka's plot as he figures out the mysteries of her agency. 10/10 again, this guy's a legend.

Part 5: Hey, a new guy

The new character here is Shinada, a former baseball player forced to quit, learning there was some shady business behind what went down in his life. He's a funny guy, a constantly broke loser who makes money by getting laid a bunch (I mean doesn't sound too bad) while fighting more with weapons (I cheesed so much shit with the infinite durability pole you have no idea) his side thing is a baseball sidequest which I didn't bother with, but his plot is fun. All about teaming up with the people he owes money to to uncover the conspiracy behind his baseball career and how it ties into the main plot. 9/10, he's great.

Part 6: You tried your best with that finale, guys.

So, all the parties come together, the plots in motion. It's time to finish this.
The finale actually starts strong, with everyone getting together in Kamorocho and heading out to stop the villain's scheme, with only the rooftop plot point being really dumb (It's a rooftop with no camera, just wait and bait him out, dumbasses) before the finale. Akiyama, Saejima, and Shinada all get decent final boss fights, but the main villain turns out to be unable to fight, working to give his gains to the TRUE final boss...who I barely remembered. Hell, when Kiryu confronts him and asks what he's doing, he responds with 'I don't know'. even the game knows it's an asspull, but you confront him...and then watch a jpop performance...then you fight him. And the fights pretty good, the narrative weight just isn't really there. 8/10

So overall, it's pretty damn good. Next up is the last of the Kiryu saga (and Gaiden but that seems to be Yakuza 6.5) so I'm looking forward to that

This is probably my 200th or more time playing this game.

I love this game. I love it it so much, it's my username. I love it so much, I go back to it all the time when I feel like garbage and I need a pick me up.

I know the ins and outs of how this game ticks. You can glitch out the other drivers if you hit your turbo right as you pass them, making them go as fast as you permanently.

There are many secret routes on tracks I never see anyone bring up. For example, on stage 2, a route will take you to the pyramids. If you pay attention, right at the start, the red lines on the left disappear briefly and if you turn into it, it will take you on a secret route that's faster and it's a tunnel through a pyramid.

Something that blew my mind back then was they had your car reflect the lighting of the tunnels. An example is when you enter a tunnel and the lights are purple, your car now is tinted purple and darkened a bit as well as all the other cars inside said tunnel. I had never seen a Genesis game do that before.

The music has been stuck in my head for years and I find myself listening to it while I do work or chores. It's one of the better Genesis soundtracks and I wish more people loved it.

The game takes place in the future far off year of 2019 and things aren't bleak, but hints of things being messed up are apparent in some of the stages. Forests completely burned down, a city covered in rising ocean water and destroyed, water that is oddly colored, and newly built cities look like something you would expect from cyberpunk. Not every stage has the futuristic details but I have always thought it was an artistic choice.

This is the best OutRun spin off in my humble opinion, and it didn't even start development as one.

Is it the nostalgia talking? Absolutely yes that's part of it. I've owned this game on a cartridge since I was 5 years old. It has been part of my life for over 25 years. Yes, my bias is heavily showing.

But I honestly think this is one of the best racing games on the Genesis and I will never forget it.

Play Outrun 2019.

Otoko Cross is my Call of Duty, except I've yet to be disappointed.

If by some chance you've gotten this far without knowing what this series' deal is, think Punch-Out!! but instead of punching burly men you woo twinks with your incredible gaming skills until they show you their shaboingboing, much like one would in real life.

Unlike its predecessors, this third entry opts for a more arcade-style game similar to Breakout and Touhou 1, and anyone familiar with either knows their biggest issues was lack of twink danglebits, which are in no short supply here. Honestly, the closest thing I could liken it to would be DSiWare, which I would consider a high compliment. It's a short, simple game with a couple different modes and things to do, without wasting your time with insane padding, which I find refreshing.

Aside from the new boys, the biggest thing that sets this entry apart from its predecessors is how outfits are unlocked. Rather than each outfit being a reward for a specific level, you're instead granted points upon each level completion that you can use to unlock each boy's individual outfit, with the sluttier ones requiring more that the more modest, as one would reasonably expect. While I definitely think this change is a good one, I do have a couple issues with the system as it's currently implemented. While you'd assume the points for spending on outfits are tied to your performance in a level, they're actually fixed on a per-level basis, and the new Eternal Challenge (Endless) mode awards no points at all. Furthermore, your total spending points are only visible within the shop interface itself, which means needing to constantly swap between the actual game menu and dressing room when grinding for all the outfits (and lack thereof). Not a huge inconvenience by any means, but definitely an area that could be improved.

While its progression may leave a bit to be desired and hopefully improved upon in later releases, we both know why we're here. We like seeing frail men whimper with a simple-but-engaging gameplay loop. With that being said, enjoy, and I'll see you when Otoko Cross 4 drops.