This review contains spoilers
Sonic and the Secret Rings is a fundamentally broken piece of shit.
Going into this game, I had no previous experience with it. I didn’t know its negative perception, I didn’t know it had such a low score on this platform, I barely knew that it even existed. Well, I wish all of that was still true.
I have never had a game be so unplayable, and lacking of enjoyment, that I’ve had to play Wii Sports Resort as a palette cleanser. Midway through this game, I damn near just gave up. I almost said, “fuck it, I’ll just call this unreviewable/10.” But, I thought a review could be pretty funny, so I kept going until I beat the main game.
Where to start… the controls. I am honestly a pretty big fan of Wii motion controls. I legitimately like using them in games like Pikmin 1 and 2, Donkey Kong Country Returns, Mario Galaxy, Resident Evil 4, but this game’s controls straight up do not function. Sometimes homing attacks will just stop in mid air. They don’t read right, they don’t always respond properly, and sometimes they don’t even show up.
You are constantly fighting with Sonic to go back and forth because going forward is automatic. You feel like you have little to no control over a character that is supposed to be going fast. So, you end up going extremely slow half the time, or seemingly trying to backtrack like it’s a fucking metroidvania.
This story is mediocre at its best, and this is possibly the worst VA of any Sonic game. It’s also somehow the slowest Sonic game, despite the fact there are upgrades to make it faster. Speaking of those upgrades, why the actual fuck is Sonic an RPG now? Why am I gradually unlocking better controls? It’s not even like the “better” controls work anyways, so what’s the fucking point?
This game is ugly as shit, too. All areas except for the Night Palace just look like 480p vomit. The level design is terrible, enemy placement is terrible, everything is terrible I want to go home.
I’m really impressed at how bad this game turned out to be. I can’t believe Sonic Team got split into two to not only make Sonic ‘06, but this game as well. I hate to say it, but I think Sonic ‘06 is actually the better game.
At its core, Sonic and the Secret Rings holds no value to the franchise. There are no good ideas here, there is no fun to be had, there is not a single level, or even a single area of a SPECIFIC level, that is any fun or entertaining at all. I found it hard to muster up the proper words for this review, because of how bad it is.
Simply put, this is bad, really bad. Like, really, really, really, really, bad. It’s almost inconceivable how bad this game is. I never want to hear anyone ever mention this game again. I never want to hear anyone defend their own nostalgia for this, I will never, EVER, in my life, think about this game again. 0/10.
Going into this game, I had no previous experience with it. I didn’t know its negative perception, I didn’t know it had such a low score on this platform, I barely knew that it even existed. Well, I wish all of that was still true.
I have never had a game be so unplayable, and lacking of enjoyment, that I’ve had to play Wii Sports Resort as a palette cleanser. Midway through this game, I damn near just gave up. I almost said, “fuck it, I’ll just call this unreviewable/10.” But, I thought a review could be pretty funny, so I kept going until I beat the main game.
Where to start… the controls. I am honestly a pretty big fan of Wii motion controls. I legitimately like using them in games like Pikmin 1 and 2, Donkey Kong Country Returns, Mario Galaxy, Resident Evil 4, but this game’s controls straight up do not function. Sometimes homing attacks will just stop in mid air. They don’t read right, they don’t always respond properly, and sometimes they don’t even show up.
You are constantly fighting with Sonic to go back and forth because going forward is automatic. You feel like you have little to no control over a character that is supposed to be going fast. So, you end up going extremely slow half the time, or seemingly trying to backtrack like it’s a fucking metroidvania.
This story is mediocre at its best, and this is possibly the worst VA of any Sonic game. It’s also somehow the slowest Sonic game, despite the fact there are upgrades to make it faster. Speaking of those upgrades, why the actual fuck is Sonic an RPG now? Why am I gradually unlocking better controls? It’s not even like the “better” controls work anyways, so what’s the fucking point?
This game is ugly as shit, too. All areas except for the Night Palace just look like 480p vomit. The level design is terrible, enemy placement is terrible, everything is terrible I want to go home.
I’m really impressed at how bad this game turned out to be. I can’t believe Sonic Team got split into two to not only make Sonic ‘06, but this game as well. I hate to say it, but I think Sonic ‘06 is actually the better game.
At its core, Sonic and the Secret Rings holds no value to the franchise. There are no good ideas here, there is no fun to be had, there is not a single level, or even a single area of a SPECIFIC level, that is any fun or entertaining at all. I found it hard to muster up the proper words for this review, because of how bad it is.
Simply put, this is bad, really bad. Like, really, really, really, really, bad. It’s almost inconceivable how bad this game is. I never want to hear anyone ever mention this game again. I never want to hear anyone defend their own nostalgia for this, I will never, EVER, in my life, think about this game again. 0/10.
Tryonite1
1 month ago