Played as part of Atari 50.

Fuck this game.

Seriously--I think out of all the games I've played so far in this collection this is hands down the worst one. I finally see the origin point of literally everything that can make an adventure game bad (ok, well, maybe this and The Colossal Cave Adventure, which I hope for my own sanity that I never play). Which is bizarre considering it's, like, maybe the only 2600 game in the overall VG canon outside of E.T. (for very different reasons) and mayyyybe Pitfall. But I just cannot get past the fact that literally every design decision made here makes my blood boil and my eyes go red.

Difficulty 1 is fine. It takes like 3 minutes to beat and it's fine. I am assuming most people are playing on difficulty 1, which is the default and (according to the manual) the easy difficulty. Difficulty 2 is the normal difficulty, and is seemingly the full game, but when you get to see all of it designed as intended, everything falls apart.

The literal nadir of "Adventure Game bullshit". You know how lots of adventure games have "that part that sucks" in them? Maybe it's a really long and frustrating maze with lots of warp points, maybe it's just an area with a lot of annoying enemies and the only save point you have is one where you've lost your sword. Well, if you're expecting anything other than those two things here you're in the wrong place. I cannot fathom anyone designing that fucking bat that steals your shit and thinking it was a worthwhile addition. And even when you are allowed to carry your single item to the spot it needs to go, have fun running through maze, after maze, after maze. That's literally the entire game.

Which doesn't even begin to mention how ill-fitted for the Atari this game is. I think a lot of the above elements would be annoying but bearable through gritted teeth on, say, an NES game of the same length, but the constant headache-inducing flashing of the 2600, the slowdown when too many things show up on screen, and items constantly glitching into walls makes this terrible in a way I have scarcely seen from any other game. It's very innovative for the time, yes, but in the end it's attempting to fit a big grand quest down on a console which was made to play Pong and other simple infinitely looping single-screen arcade games.

It doesn't work in the slightest and I'm baffled that the general consensus seems to be that it's even remotely good. Influential, yes, but good??? Even for the time, every single other 2600 game I have played in this collection is more fun to play, which includes games that are nothing more than button mashers. It takes like 30 minutes to beat this legit without savestates and it is one of the toughest slogs I have ever gotten through with any video game. Just completely mentally stunlocked here

Reviewed on Feb 01, 2024


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