I feel within myself often the compulsion to rate and rank things. That’s why I typically rate the games I’ve played. I attempt to rationalize and standardize these ratings, but really, they’re a failed attempt to condense the whole of my experience into a single number. It’s a fraught process, but I am compelled to do it anyway.
Why do I say all this?
Custer’s Revenge is the worst game I’ve ever played.
In trying to rationalize my ratings, I ask what makes something worthy of the best, and eventually, what’s worthy of the worst. It ultimately comes down to instinct. What makes something good or bad is mostly an attempt to generate a post hoc understanding of my own experience. I have ideas about what all these numbers mean, and doing so means I have to also consider what it means to be worthy of being called the worst.
And nothing is more deserving of the label “the worst” than this.
When most games are “bad”, its because they’re buggy, or messy, or ugly. It is an assessment based on very concrete qualities, treating it more like software. But we’ve got to recognize that there are oh so many ways for a game to be “bad”. Because they’re not just programs, they’re also arrays of artistic expression. In my view, the one way that we can truly assess whether something is “bad” is whether or not it is harmful. And there is no question in my mind that Custer’s Revenge is harmful.
I played Custer’s Revenge for maybe about a minute. It was probably not any more than sixty seconds. I regret every single one of those seconds. I feel ashamed to have played this juvenile, racist, misogynistic trash. Every inch of it is repugnant. Wasting even a fraction of a second on this game makes me a worse person. There are few pieces of art that can invoke within me such self-loathing. I literally felt ill, a turning in my stomach, a flush of shame at what I had done. What I had done? Touch this vile game.
It’s a bad video game, too. Even without its abhorrent subject matter, its gameplay is repetitive, droll, and uninteresting. Avoiding repetitive patterns of arrows and then rapidly pressing the button. That’s all there is to it. This isn’t a matter of it aging poorly, either. There are masterpieces of early game design from this era. Critics at the time hated it, too. It’s not bad because it’s old; it’s bad because it’s bad. There really is no redeeming quality in the slightest.
Even its name is an offense. Imagine taking the rape of an indigenous woman by General Custer, a man who has since become a symbol of the violent colonization of the Western US in the 19th century, and, as such, was once described by Vine Deloria Jr. as “the Adolph Eichmann of the plains”, and then framing that rape as “revenge”.
The developers claim that it was all in good fun, no offense intended, that they only seek to make entertain. Well, I’m not entertained. I’m not laughing. I’m not smiling. I’m not having a good time. And I have very pointed questions for anyone who is.
Custer’s Revenge is, in its totality, fully deserving of being considered one of the worst games ever made. It has earned every single word of spurn volleyed into its back. Just thinking about what it is, the fact that anyone would put time and effort into making this, makes me angry and disappointed. It is a cruel, racist, misogynistic, and juvenile game. Its mere existence gives pornography a bad name. If only they had taken this abomination and buried it in New Mexico instead.
Why do I say all this?
Custer’s Revenge is the worst game I’ve ever played.
In trying to rationalize my ratings, I ask what makes something worthy of the best, and eventually, what’s worthy of the worst. It ultimately comes down to instinct. What makes something good or bad is mostly an attempt to generate a post hoc understanding of my own experience. I have ideas about what all these numbers mean, and doing so means I have to also consider what it means to be worthy of being called the worst.
And nothing is more deserving of the label “the worst” than this.
When most games are “bad”, its because they’re buggy, or messy, or ugly. It is an assessment based on very concrete qualities, treating it more like software. But we’ve got to recognize that there are oh so many ways for a game to be “bad”. Because they’re not just programs, they’re also arrays of artistic expression. In my view, the one way that we can truly assess whether something is “bad” is whether or not it is harmful. And there is no question in my mind that Custer’s Revenge is harmful.
I played Custer’s Revenge for maybe about a minute. It was probably not any more than sixty seconds. I regret every single one of those seconds. I feel ashamed to have played this juvenile, racist, misogynistic trash. Every inch of it is repugnant. Wasting even a fraction of a second on this game makes me a worse person. There are few pieces of art that can invoke within me such self-loathing. I literally felt ill, a turning in my stomach, a flush of shame at what I had done. What I had done? Touch this vile game.
It’s a bad video game, too. Even without its abhorrent subject matter, its gameplay is repetitive, droll, and uninteresting. Avoiding repetitive patterns of arrows and then rapidly pressing the button. That’s all there is to it. This isn’t a matter of it aging poorly, either. There are masterpieces of early game design from this era. Critics at the time hated it, too. It’s not bad because it’s old; it’s bad because it’s bad. There really is no redeeming quality in the slightest.
Even its name is an offense. Imagine taking the rape of an indigenous woman by General Custer, a man who has since become a symbol of the violent colonization of the Western US in the 19th century, and, as such, was once described by Vine Deloria Jr. as “the Adolph Eichmann of the plains”, and then framing that rape as “revenge”.
The developers claim that it was all in good fun, no offense intended, that they only seek to make entertain. Well, I’m not entertained. I’m not laughing. I’m not smiling. I’m not having a good time. And I have very pointed questions for anyone who is.
Custer’s Revenge is, in its totality, fully deserving of being considered one of the worst games ever made. It has earned every single word of spurn volleyed into its back. Just thinking about what it is, the fact that anyone would put time and effort into making this, makes me angry and disappointed. It is a cruel, racist, misogynistic, and juvenile game. Its mere existence gives pornography a bad name. If only they had taken this abomination and buried it in New Mexico instead.
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Beet
2 years ago