As is tradition with all of my Pokemon reviews now, I will share the nice little team that helped me through this playthrough. Given that Mismagius and Lilligant are my first and third favorite Pokemon respectively, it was a lot of fun getting the rare opportunity to use both of them in one team. Hell, Mismagius being available at all was the number one reason I wanted to replay Pokemon Moon in the first place, given how irritatingly rare that tends to be. Outside of that, it was also fun researching all the different moons of each planet in order to find appropriate nicknames for all of my team members. This playthrough was a bit of an astronomy lesson for me, I suppose.

That's it, though. While I did remember enjoying Pokemon Sun & Moon back when they first released, this replay was a bit of a better look into just how much of a slog the entire game is. I already knew what I wasn't looking forward to, so with each step closer I took to that god forsaken Aether Paradise, I only felt an ever growing sense of dread and just... I dunno, reluctance? I really didn't wanna play it! Only halfway through my run, I had several instances of just complete demotivation, whether it be my 3DS crashing at poor times (which, my fault, I realize now) or the multiple things I tried looking up only to find out just how far away it was, (Move Reminder is in the Pokemon Center directly before the Elite Four fuck you), I was so willing to just drop the game at any given moment.

I pushed through it all despite the fact. I genuinely cannot say a single good thing about any of the islands spread across Alola. I don't even remember a 3/4 of their names.
- Island 1 is notable for being nothing but a tutorial, and a remarkably slow one at that. I yearn for the day Game Freak makes tutorials completely optional.
- Island 2 is notable for, uh... it has... three trials. Instead of one, or two. Real good one. I did, at the very least, enjoy the pacing of it, shockingly enough. Even if I had to do the water trial twice due to the aforementioned 3DS crashes. This was the only time where I felt like I was making steady progress.
- Island 3 has Po Town. I like Po Town. I've always held a strong opinion against evil team hideouts, yet somehow this is one of the only times where I can say it's actually pretty nice. Though it might have to do with the fact that it's also pretty short... Other than that, I'll also remember it as the dreadful step just before reaching the Aether Paradise, which is probably more of an evil hideout section than Po Town because it's fucking boring!
- Poni Island (I remember this one) is notable for being the last one. It has one town, and one trial. The entirety of Poni Island genuinely feels rushed, half of its purpose is locked behind postgame, the caves just before the dragon trial feel like more of a Victory Road than whatever Mt. Lanakila was supposed to be, there's just nothing here! Even in the Ultra games with its additional trial, they couldn't be bothered to utilize the actual area, instead making the player fly to every other island on a scavenger hunt.

What sucks is that I actually do like everything else! The selection of Pokemon is great, the entire cast is made up of colorful designs and personalities (give or take that random golf girl), and there genuinely is an interesting story being told between Lillie and that whole family ordeal. What's not fun, is seeing that story move at an absolutely mind numbing pace, the worst offender being (take a guess) in the Aether Paradise. Throughout this completely barren and colorless structure, you will explore unnecessarily large rooms, read some dialogue, suddenly broken up by nameless (sometimes faceless) grunts with annoyingly tanky Pokemon. Watch as their health bar slowly drains because we decided we need them to decrease in a specific amount of time, instead of just moving naturally. I did enjoy watching that sliver of health sit idle for a solid few seconds before vanishing the very next.

God, it's just so slow... it is nothing but slow. All of it. Gameplay wise, story wise, I was not enjoying sitting through it all, waiting patiently for my next opportunity to move. A fantastic setting mixed with a fantastic cast, I just wish I actually enjoyed seeing what they did.

i just don't think i like modern pokemon.