Mini-game compilation based on the hacking activities from Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time.
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The worst parts of Thieves in Time for an entire game
MOTION CONTROLS AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH. Navigate through the blandest "l33t hax0rz" environments - everything's E L E C T R I C and B L U E - with the shittiest controls since... I can't even think of a metaphor, this IS the metaphor IT'S FUCKING DOGSHIT. You're not moving very fast, maybe tilt the controller a little more? Alright I'll carefully angle it just a tiny little MAX SPEED? OKAY WEEEEEEEEEE RIGHT INTO THE RAVINE CHOO CHOO YOU'VE PASSED AWAY YEAH
ANYWAY HERE'S A SERIES OF THE MOST POORLY CONSTRUCTED ROOMS IN POORLY CONSTRUCTED ROOMS HISTORY. HOLES IN THE FLOOR. NO WALLS. ELECTRIC HAZARDS. Okay now again just be CAREFUL, really carefully maneuver your way around these holes you don't wanna die so just slowly, very cautiously TIME EXPIRED THERE WAS A TIME LIMIT THE WHOLE TIME YOU TIMED OUT FUCK TIME YOU.
IN THE VITA VERSION YOU TILT THE ENTIRE SYSTEM THE SYSTEM THE SCREEN IS ATTACHED TO THE ENTIRE SCREEN IS CONSTANTLY ROTATING AND SHAKING I CAN'T SEE SHIT
The iconic twin stick shooter from the originals. WAVES OF ENEMIES SWARM THE SCREEN. LESS AND LESS FLOOR BECOMES VISIBLE. YOU'RE PICKING THEM OFF BUT YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. Fucking FIRE... LET'S FUCK IT UP.
Here's a powerup that gives you the slowest shooting turret coding allows. Destroy these barriers with them. One shot... two shot... okay now here's another barrier, one shot... two shot... alright cool third one in a row, one shot... two sh- FUCK OFF
Lastly, a side scroller where the more hits you land without getting hit yourself, the more powerful your weaponry becomes. A tense RUSH rewarding speed and accuracy, with the speed point bonuses also encouraging you to go even FASTER, an awesome risk/reward dynamic...
Except for the fact that the level design and sweeping screen constantly has you at the edge of the screen which would be fine if it wasn't for the fact that enemies LOVE to swoop in from all directions here's 9 frames AKA 0.2 SECONDS to react BACK TO THE STARTER GUN oopsy sploop haha GET FUCKED
MOTION CONTROLS AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH. Navigate through the blandest "l33t hax0rz" environments - everything's E L E C T R I C and B L U E - with the shittiest controls since... I can't even think of a metaphor, this IS the metaphor IT'S FUCKING DOGSHIT. You're not moving very fast, maybe tilt the controller a little more? Alright I'll carefully angle it just a tiny little MAX SPEED? OKAY WEEEEEEEEEE RIGHT INTO THE RAVINE CHOO CHOO YOU'VE PASSED AWAY YEAH
ANYWAY HERE'S A SERIES OF THE MOST POORLY CONSTRUCTED ROOMS IN POORLY CONSTRUCTED ROOMS HISTORY. HOLES IN THE FLOOR. NO WALLS. ELECTRIC HAZARDS. Okay now again just be CAREFUL, really carefully maneuver your way around these holes you don't wanna die so just slowly, very cautiously TIME EXPIRED THERE WAS A TIME LIMIT THE WHOLE TIME YOU TIMED OUT FUCK TIME YOU.
IN THE VITA VERSION YOU TILT THE ENTIRE SYSTEM THE SYSTEM THE SCREEN IS ATTACHED TO THE ENTIRE SCREEN IS CONSTANTLY ROTATING AND SHAKING I CAN'T SEE SHIT
The iconic twin stick shooter from the originals. WAVES OF ENEMIES SWARM THE SCREEN. LESS AND LESS FLOOR BECOMES VISIBLE. YOU'RE PICKING THEM OFF BUT YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. Fucking FIRE... LET'S FUCK IT UP.
Here's a powerup that gives you the slowest shooting turret coding allows. Destroy these barriers with them. One shot... two shot... okay now here's another barrier, one shot... two shot... alright cool third one in a row, one shot... two sh- FUCK OFF
Lastly, a side scroller where the more hits you land without getting hit yourself, the more powerful your weaponry becomes. A tense RUSH rewarding speed and accuracy, with the speed point bonuses also encouraging you to go even FASTER, an awesome risk/reward dynamic...
Except for the fact that the level design and sweeping screen constantly has you at the edge of the screen which would be fine if it wasn't for the fact that enemies LOVE to swoop in from all directions here's 9 frames AKA 0.2 SECONDS to react BACK TO THE STARTER GUN oopsy sploop haha GET FUCKED
Do you like the hacking mini games from Thieves in Time? Would you play an entire game comprised entirely of said mini games? Well, do I ever have a good use of $2.99 for you...