Nah this is peak, such a perfect stupid goofy story, and not mind-numblingly annoying like The Breakout!! Would recommend getting high before playing (the company issuing this statement declines all responsibility on all sussy bakas putting their health at risk)

We do be underplaying the consequences of unlimited access to deadly schemes on the human psyche. The world watches in terror as the nice girl loses her temper. We'll see if the end of the trilogy holds the same amount of fuckery greatness! sobs

CW: emotional abuse, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, transphobia

In my youth, I had a pretty eclectic friend group. Bisexual theater friend who put too much of herself into relationships. A trans boy who loved to spout Sherlock "I'm a high-functioning sociopath" logic gotchas. A gamergate pilled "I'm the resident asshole and that's fun instead of exhausting" dude. An energetic party hound who's since come out as a trans man and anarchist. Straight girl who bumped her car into a lightpost every week and ambushed me with a singing invitation to prom the day before I left town on a trip, never talked to me again after I turned her down. Myself, awkward kid who was still figuring out Gender and couldn't quite figure out why I was so jealous that several of my friends got to be girls.

Also, my at-the-time girlfriend, K. Variety of mental health issues, some of which I share, but the major centerpiece being her schizophrenia. You learn a lot about the reality of things with a personal example, rather than a series of stereotypes. You learn about exact symptoms, exact dangers, exact methods of treatment. You learn about how people are people. You learn how to look people in the eyes after someone's done something awful and you can see, you can just see how they want to be good but they just can't get there. You can see in their eyes that they know they're making the wrong decisions, but they just can't figure out how to make the right ones.

You also learn when someone's decisions have nothing to do with their illness.

The lead up to dating K was a little fraught. Her and the Sherlock Guy had a messy break-up, resulting in her later belief that all trans men were The Same Guy Out To Hurt Her Specifically. Things worsened, friends split apart over petty arguments. She told me that talking to me was the only time her schizophrenia seemed to die down. I internalized this as evidence that I had to be the Thing Keeping K Happy. I spent the next year doing everything possible to focus on K's mental well-being. She told me that one day she was going to vanish from everyone's life rather than let people see her conditions worsen, which put an... uncomfortable sense of dread throughout any long week without contact.

When she dumped me, I was... relieved. I was off the hook. I didn't have to be responsible anymore. I accepted it with grace. So much grace that K felt perfectly willing to talk to me about all the other people she had been talking to on dating apps during our relationship.

I stayed friends with K for several years, much to the concern of my newer friends. She'd lash out whenever people weren't there to support her, but could never be bothered to help out other friends. I was once threatened by her stepdad when helping her move out.

Her transphobia got worse so I certainly wasn't comfortable coming out. Her life got better, she needed me less. She got more conservative, used personal stories of me being a poor partner to show how she was always right and I was wrong. Other stuff I don't even remember but close friends can point to easily as a time of major stress in my life. Haven't talked to her since 2020. Hope she's doing well. Glad that we don't talk anymore.

But even years later, I keep all notification sounds on every device turned off. Notifications and ringing and buzzers inherently carried a sense of Danger. A sense that its entirely possible someone needs my help, right then and there. And if I don't answer quick enough, I've destroyed someone's happiness. That's a feeling I'm not gonna be able to shed. Sometimes, I can't be as present in the lives of my loved ones as I want to be. Part of the space I use to help others is... burned out, even years later. I hope it can be charged to full again. I want it to be charged to full again.

I guess what I'm really trying to build to here, is...

I might have the most interesting history with Edna and Harvey of all time.

When you're looking for Good Depictions of Mental Illness for a loved one, you've got pretty slim pickings. And Edna and Harvey is a pretty fucking slim picking. Goofy, poor researched depictions of "hearing voices" or "hallucinations", all played for laughs rather than sincere empathy. Cynical and unpleasant views of normal people. Downright offensive depictions of disability. Edna and Harvey has got it all.

But when the six of us dipshit teens sat down to play it together, it was bizarrely electric. Watching Lilli skip her way from murder to murder, forever trapped in a seemingly naive and innocent worldview, all narrated with dry, sarcastic wit. Daedalic Entertainment is, by all accounts, a morally and creatively bankrupt company (the racist jokes in Deponia, the misogyny of Deponia, the characters of Deponia, the game Deponia, Gollum). Yet Harvey's New Eyes manages to weave genuine entertainment through its mean-spirited worldview that none of their other games could ever quite match. We laughed. We guffawed. We played together from 6 pm to 3 am, exploring the entire game together. Lilli Defeats Schizophrenia, freeing herself from both the conformity of society and the internal issues of her own mind. Its not a particularly useful thesis to any actual crisis of mental illness, but it works for teenagers.

Its weird, when you and someone have gone separate ways. Its for the best. Its the whole purpose of growing up. Leaving behind the things that hurt you. But you can't escape the memories. All the bits of information you've collected that only have value to yourself. All the birthdays and favorite toys and fandoms that are permanently associated with a fixture of the past. There's nothing you can do to forgot those moments is just let time pass. The things you don't value slip away and what you're left with is what carries you into the future.

For better or for worse, I'll always have the memory of Harvey's New Eyes.