Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six
released on Oct 01, 1992
Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six is a side-scrolling game which puts you in the role of Spidey throughout six levels against Electro, Sandman, Mysterio, Vulture, Hobgoblin and Doctor Octopus respectively. Some puzzle solving (like finding a key) is necessary to beat some levels. Spidey can duck jump, climb walls, punch, shoot webs to swing (by pressing punch and jump together) and perform a jump kick (by pressing the punch button twice). Collecting web cartridges allows Spidey to shoot limited web projectiles. Although hard to die, Spidey has only one life, there are no items to recharge life (but killing some guys will do so) and only one continue.
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Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six on the NES is rough. It's got those old-school NES vibes, but even with nostalgia goggles, this one hasn't aged well. The controls are clunky, the levels are confusing, and the repetitive gameplay gets old fast. It's cool seeing classic Spidey villains, but the overall experience is frustrating. Die-hard Spidey fans might find some charm in it, but for most, this one's a pass.
so sad so so sad
this game sucked so damn bad i didn't even bother finishing it. I have nothing good to say about it the controls are janky and just flat out sucks only reason i tried it is because I am going threw random old school games some of them I played back in the 90s some of them it was my first, this shit game was a first and it will never get touched again.
When it comes to licensed games of the 8-bit and 16-bit era, most of the time, you’re not sure about how the game in question is going to hold up. It could potentially be a hidden gem that not many others know about, it could be just a bland title that doesn’t really leave an impact, but it doesn’t really do anything that wrong either, or, more then likely, it is going to be one of the most unpolished and unplayable pieces of trash that you are ever going to experience. But, there is a way to determine the quality of some of these games, primarily if they just so happen to have a little rainbow logo on it. At first, it is unassuming, but if you are familiar with that logo, you know that you are going to be in for something awful. This was the logo of LJN. For those familiar with the NES and SNES library, you would know that whenever you saw that rainbow on a game’s case, chances are it was gonna be pretty terrible, and while this hasn’t always been the case, and while LJN themselves aren’t the one’s responsible for the game’s quality since they are just the publisher, it seems way too convenient that most bad licensed games on the platform just so happen to have their name on it. I myself haven’t played any of LJN’s games, but I have known about them for a LOOONG time, as well as the infamous reputation that they have carried with them from this era, so I figured I may as well go ahead and experience one of these games myself to see just how bad they could be, and the game I chose to figure that out with was Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six.
Yes, half of the reason why I chose this game was because of Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 being released just recently, but also halfway because I just picked something at random. I didn’t think the game would be that bad, because after all, from what I saw online, it was only about 15 minutes long, and it seemed like a very simple game that I could just up, play and be done with in no time. I mean, how bad could it possibly be? Well, it turns out, it could be VERY BAD. Yeah, big surprise, this game fucking sucks, and while I can’t judge it too harshly, because it is short enough to where it doesn’t feel that insulting, but on this short journey you will have, you won’t be feeling like Spider-Man, but instead feeling like you are being tortured throughout your entire playthrough.
The story is you’re Spider-Man, they are the Sinister Six, KILL, not much more to be said, the graphics are… alright, with the levels themselves being somewhat lazy, and the screens in between levels looking pretty ugly, but Spider-Man himself doesn’t look too bad, and there are some decent animations for the system, so I will give it that, the music is pretty bad, with there not being a stand-out track of the bunch, and the ones that I do remember being there all sound basically the same, not holding any kind of quality between them, the control is……… well, we will get to that later, and the gameplay is about as basic as you can get for a Spider-Man game, which may be a blessing in disguise, but that doesn’t help make the game any better.
The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of the web slinger himself, go through a set of six levels, take out or swing by any weird enemy that you run into on your journey, such as regular goons, rats and birds, or… cavemen (I guess they never went extinct in this universe), pray to RNGesus that you will somehow be able to recover your health as you keep going on, because how the hell else do you get health in this game other than in thin air, and take on each member of the Sinister Six at the end of each level and deliver some Spider-Justice straight to their faces. And that is it. That’s pretty much the whole game. There are some other objectives here or there that you will have to do, like get a key or some TNT, but other then that, it is mostly just about getting to the end of a level and taking out some guys. Again, that may not sound that bad, but then you have to deal with the biggest obstacle the game has to offer: actually playing the game.
Everything about the way Spider-Man controls in this game is on par with actual Spider-Shit, it is so horrible. Your abilities consist of you being able to move around, jump, attack, and shoot web to either attack people or swing around. Seems pretty basic for a Spider-Man game, but doing any of these things is much harder than it seems. Your movement is incredibly stiff, where it is fine most of the time, but sometimes Spider-Man will just run in a specific direction even if you press the opposite direction, the jumping is arced and hard to master in tight spaces, the web is incredibly unreliable, with you not needing to use it throughout the entire game, and even if you try, you can barely get it to work in your favor, and the attacking is THE ABSOLUTE WORST. No matter when or how you attack, Spider-Man does whatever he wants to do, whether it be by actually punching forward, or just launching himself forward with a flying kick, which is what he does most of the time, and this attack sucks, because more than likely, you will just go soaring right above the enemy you are trying to kill. It may not sound that bad, but considering how quickly you can die in this game, it does make things much more stressful than it needs to be.
Aside from that, there are plenty of other factors that make this game pretty bad, such as the health meter that does whatever it feels like whenever you get hit by anything, the shitty-ass level design that is seen throughout most of the game, the fact that enemies can spawn everywhere are take you down really easily, like all bad NES games, how you have no invincibility frames, so enemies can attack you in rapid succession very easily, and the fact that you get TWO LIVES before you get a Game Over and have to start again. I mean, I guess that is better then what Double Dragon III pulled, but even still, that is pretty damn relentless. But, with all that being said, I don’t think this game is completely terrible. Like I mentioned before, it is pretty damn short, and it is harmless enough to where you could beat the entire thing in one session, and never have to think about it afterwards again. Also, you can’t help but laugh at how stupid everyone moves and looks, as well as how every enemy explodes upon death. That is just the sheer power of Spider-Man at work.
Overall though, despite some alright graphics and a short playtime, this is without a doubt one of the worst Spider-Man games ever made, and definitely one of the worst NES games I have ever played, licensed or otherwise. I would recommend you never playing this, even if you are a hardcore fan of either Spider-Man or NES games, because it is just not worth it. But hey, at least now I can say now that I have finally dealt with one of the messes that LJN have put out, and succeeded along the way, so that is good. Now if you excuse me, I am going to go play the GOOD Spider-Man game that just came out, and continue to wonder why the PS5 still has no games. See you all next time!
Game #389
Yes, half of the reason why I chose this game was because of Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 being released just recently, but also halfway because I just picked something at random. I didn’t think the game would be that bad, because after all, from what I saw online, it was only about 15 minutes long, and it seemed like a very simple game that I could just up, play and be done with in no time. I mean, how bad could it possibly be? Well, it turns out, it could be VERY BAD. Yeah, big surprise, this game fucking sucks, and while I can’t judge it too harshly, because it is short enough to where it doesn’t feel that insulting, but on this short journey you will have, you won’t be feeling like Spider-Man, but instead feeling like you are being tortured throughout your entire playthrough.
The story is you’re Spider-Man, they are the Sinister Six, KILL, not much more to be said, the graphics are… alright, with the levels themselves being somewhat lazy, and the screens in between levels looking pretty ugly, but Spider-Man himself doesn’t look too bad, and there are some decent animations for the system, so I will give it that, the music is pretty bad, with there not being a stand-out track of the bunch, and the ones that I do remember being there all sound basically the same, not holding any kind of quality between them, the control is……… well, we will get to that later, and the gameplay is about as basic as you can get for a Spider-Man game, which may be a blessing in disguise, but that doesn’t help make the game any better.
The game is a 2D platformer, where you take control of the web slinger himself, go through a set of six levels, take out or swing by any weird enemy that you run into on your journey, such as regular goons, rats and birds, or… cavemen (I guess they never went extinct in this universe), pray to RNGesus that you will somehow be able to recover your health as you keep going on, because how the hell else do you get health in this game other than in thin air, and take on each member of the Sinister Six at the end of each level and deliver some Spider-Justice straight to their faces. And that is it. That’s pretty much the whole game. There are some other objectives here or there that you will have to do, like get a key or some TNT, but other then that, it is mostly just about getting to the end of a level and taking out some guys. Again, that may not sound that bad, but then you have to deal with the biggest obstacle the game has to offer: actually playing the game.
Everything about the way Spider-Man controls in this game is on par with actual Spider-Shit, it is so horrible. Your abilities consist of you being able to move around, jump, attack, and shoot web to either attack people or swing around. Seems pretty basic for a Spider-Man game, but doing any of these things is much harder than it seems. Your movement is incredibly stiff, where it is fine most of the time, but sometimes Spider-Man will just run in a specific direction even if you press the opposite direction, the jumping is arced and hard to master in tight spaces, the web is incredibly unreliable, with you not needing to use it throughout the entire game, and even if you try, you can barely get it to work in your favor, and the attacking is THE ABSOLUTE WORST. No matter when or how you attack, Spider-Man does whatever he wants to do, whether it be by actually punching forward, or just launching himself forward with a flying kick, which is what he does most of the time, and this attack sucks, because more than likely, you will just go soaring right above the enemy you are trying to kill. It may not sound that bad, but considering how quickly you can die in this game, it does make things much more stressful than it needs to be.
Aside from that, there are plenty of other factors that make this game pretty bad, such as the health meter that does whatever it feels like whenever you get hit by anything, the shitty-ass level design that is seen throughout most of the game, the fact that enemies can spawn everywhere are take you down really easily, like all bad NES games, how you have no invincibility frames, so enemies can attack you in rapid succession very easily, and the fact that you get TWO LIVES before you get a Game Over and have to start again. I mean, I guess that is better then what Double Dragon III pulled, but even still, that is pretty damn relentless. But, with all that being said, I don’t think this game is completely terrible. Like I mentioned before, it is pretty damn short, and it is harmless enough to where you could beat the entire thing in one session, and never have to think about it afterwards again. Also, you can’t help but laugh at how stupid everyone moves and looks, as well as how every enemy explodes upon death. That is just the sheer power of Spider-Man at work.
Overall though, despite some alright graphics and a short playtime, this is without a doubt one of the worst Spider-Man games ever made, and definitely one of the worst NES games I have ever played, licensed or otherwise. I would recommend you never playing this, even if you are a hardcore fan of either Spider-Man or NES games, because it is just not worth it. But hey, at least now I can say now that I have finally dealt with one of the messes that LJN have put out, and succeeded along the way, so that is good. Now if you excuse me, I am going to go play the GOOD Spider-Man game that just came out, and continue to wonder why the PS5 still has no games. See you all next time!
Game #389
It’s ok. Some interesting ideas, but ok.
Conman's Last Hunt
Entry 6
More like Sinister Sucks!
There's some masochistic part of me (non-sexual?) which adores playing through garbage like Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six. It's an awkward side-scroller with a tenuous grasp on the power-set of Spider-Man as well as controls and general level design. I still don't hate it, because it's an unintentionally hilarious little game with a squat Spidey obliterating vagrants, tripping over rats, and stumbling through visually illegible battles with the Sinister Six. Even the music is lovably terrible.
I might be certifiably crazy for this, but I actually thought the simplistic 2600 game was better, especially considering the difference in technological limitations.
Entry 6
More like Sinister Sucks!
There's some masochistic part of me (non-sexual?) which adores playing through garbage like Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six. It's an awkward side-scroller with a tenuous grasp on the power-set of Spider-Man as well as controls and general level design. I still don't hate it, because it's an unintentionally hilarious little game with a squat Spidey obliterating vagrants, tripping over rats, and stumbling through visually illegible battles with the Sinister Six. Even the music is lovably terrible.
I might be certifiably crazy for this, but I actually thought the simplistic 2600 game was better, especially considering the difference in technological limitations.